How Not To Advance Your Gig

[P-Nutz]

Right. So I have a mic/guitar stand all-in-one thingy; you can see it below. I use it when we run our own PA, but if a gig sound company finds it a hassle, I’ll ditch it.

 

[Fretting out]

Right. So I have a mic/guitar stand all-in-one thingy; you can see it below. I use it when we run our own PA, but if a gig sound company finds it a hassle, I’ll ditch it.

View attachment 1045633

Is that a platter of fried chicken in the middle of the stand!?

The ultimate setup!

 

[TheFuzzDog]

So, I have an annual client moving into the venue. This is a faith-based group who holds a worship service every night they are here, with seminar sessions during the day.
In the past, this group would bring in a cathedral organ as a demo unit from a dealer, then it progressed to "we just need a piano and a mic" (with a band materializing out of nowhere 20 minutes before their start time and expect a soundcheck). Spoiler Alert: There's no soundcheck, you will be lucky to get one monitor mix, and now everyone is going to suffer a 20 minute delay while you set up your gear.
This year, they "advanced" their gig. What a rare privilege to have a such a great band leader with as much foresight as this guy. The image below shows the extent of what they think I should know about their tech needs, and came with a "If it could all be ready by 3 PM, that would be great". Where's the beef. Telling me 9 XLR's tells be nothing, zero, zilch. Apparently, there is a drum. And a computer.
Spoiler Alert #2: It won't be ready because you told me nothing beyond a random thought, and "great" would be if you had supplied me with what I asked for to begin with, and that would be a stage plot. It takes next to nothing to draw it out on a piece of printer paper (or a napkin) and email or texme a picture of it. Instead, I am posting your lame reply to a bunch of strangers because they actually understand better than the "experienced" music teacher. Yeah, I went to college, too...
For the record, springing stuff on your audio provider at the last minute is the quickest way to have a bad night for everyone. Of course, it will be hilariously painful to watch you deal with it.
Rant over...
View attachment 1041758

I get the frustration. It’s clear that this organization doesn’t know how to give you what you need. I bet there are others in the same boat.

I also bet they think they are giving you what you want. Perhaps what you could do now is teach them. Send them an example of what you want.

For what it’s worth, I will bet you five dollars that “9 xlrs” means they think they need 9 xlr cables.

 

[getbent]

faith based.... 'the lord will provide' (and ODR)

I learned a long time ago, if you get a soundman (especially if he seems serious and calm) do what they say and it will be a great night. If you don't have a standard setup that you can provide at any moment, you aren't a professional band... you're a clown in a clown car, which is what this band sounds like.

 

[Refugee]

Are brown M&Ms ok?......
That's what Van Halen objected to.

It was the blue M&M's.

Brown was the bad acid at Woodstock. Geesh. LOL

 

[String Tree]

So, I have an annual client moving into the venue. This is a faith-based group who holds a worship service every night they are here, with seminar sessions during the day.
In the past, this group would bring in a cathedral organ as a demo unit from a dealer, then it progressed to "we just need a piano and a mic" (with a band materializing out of nowhere 20 minutes before their start time and expect a soundcheck). Spoiler Alert: There's no soundcheck, you will be lucky to get one monitor mix, and now everyone is going to suffer a 20 minute delay while you set up your gear.
This year, they "advanced" their gig. What a rare privilege to have a such a great band leader with as much foresight as this guy. The image below shows the extent of what they think I should know about their tech needs, and came with a "If it could all be ready by 3 PM, that would be great". Where's the beef. Telling me 9 XLR's tells be nothing, zero, zilch. Apparently, there is a drum. And a computer.
Spoiler Alert #2: It won't be ready because you told me nothing beyond a random thought, and "great" would be if you had supplied me with what I asked for to begin with, and that would be a stage plot. It takes next to nothing to draw it out on a piece of printer paper (or a napkin) and email or texme a picture of it. Instead, I am posting your lame reply to a bunch of strangers because they actually understand better than the "experienced" music teacher. Yeah, I went to college, too...
For the record, springing stuff on your audio provider at the last minute is the quickest way to have a bad night for everyone. Of course, it will be hilariously painful to watch you deal with it.
Rant over...
View attachment 1041758

OUCH!!!

 

[beyer160]

My favorite part is "9 XLRs".

So, nine connectors? Male or female? Are you going to build you own cables on site? Should I bring a soldering station, or do you have your own?

Maybe he means cables. OK, nine 2' patch cables with XLR connectors, coming up!

I'm not sure where the hell you're supposed to find two microphones made of lead, either.

 

[SRHmusic]

I was thinking 9 xlrs meant ports on a snake. But, yeah, it's not very helpful list.

An example of a good stage plot and monitor mix list would be good to have on hand. Maybe someone can post one here and we all can just forward the link to this discussion/rant to others later.

 

[Old Deaf Roadie]

I'm not sure where the hell you're supposed to find two microphones made of lead, either.

I have seen people show up with their "special" mic that sounds as if the capsule was made of lead, but we'll save the grunge club stories for another time.

 

[studio]

faith based.... 'the lord will provide' (and ODR)

I learned a long time ago, if you get a soundman (especially if he seems serious and calm) do what they say and it will be a great night. If you don't have a standard setup that you can provide at any moment, you aren't a professional band... you're a clown in a clown car, which is what this band sounds like.

Most of the clowns I know are "professionals" buddy!

Most of the church issues are musician related.

Most of the schooled praise and worship leaders are a pain in the middle when taken out of their comfort zone.

Lord have Mercy!

 

[dlew919]

Answer no 275 to the question why do sound techs drink …

 

[loudboy]

Every gospel/worship/praise ensemble.

And there'll probably be another keyboardist who shows up with two more boards five minutes before showtime.

The same P&W band that wants a separate monitor mix for each of the 6 BG vocalists.

I was thinking 9 xlrs meant ports on a snake. But, yeah, it's not very helpful list.

An example of a good stage plot and monitor mix list would be good to have on hand. Maybe someone can post one here and we all can just forward the link to this discussion/rant to others later.

 

[soundchaser59]

I think you’re overthinking this. Clearly, he just needs the gear in some boxes next to the stage. Bing bang boom done!
Hahaha

That's how I took it. Put it all in a pile and show him where it is.

 

[39martind18]

Hardly anyone in this business knows what the hell they’re doing anymore. It gets worse all the time.

If one more person tells me to lighten up because we’re just having fun I’m gonna lose it. I *can’t have* any fun when everything is disorganized and poorly handled and nobody knows what’s going on. I *can’t have* any fun when nobody knows how to be on stage. Which let’s face it, is a much different scenario than most rehearsal rooms. I can’t have any fun when people are late. Or when they have a cobbled together junk rig that makes freaky noises, cracks and pops, or maybe doesn’t work at all when they finally get it set up ten minutes after start time.

The folks in question in the OP obviously don’t even have any idea what a “Stage Plot” is, when it’s pretty glaringly obvious just from the name. Any minimally intelligent person could discern from the two words involved what was being requested. The person who sent that in just doesn’t care. But they’ll be all upset when things aren’t to their liking.

Sorry. Just a lot of crap flying around lately. @Old Deaf Roadie I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this. Best of luck.

And now you know why I do a self-contained solo act. I know what equipment I'll be using, how it'll be set up, and usually only need one "sound check" song. It's very soothing to the soul to know that the set up is almost always the same, and the equipment supplied is top notch.

 

[Chipss36]

This would simply not work, I would hurt some one’s pride, get kicked out of the band, and be telling myself I was really trying to make things better for all.

so I suppose best to not be like me…..

 

[Octorfunk]

I dont know the situation, but it almost sounds like they're planning on setting it up themselves??? Or is their expectation that you set it up for them?

 

[David Barnett]

The same P&W band that wants a separate monitor mix for each of the 6 BG vocalists.

And at least one of them will stand 18" from the microphone and whisper "I can't hear myself".

I used to wonder sometimes how awesome the production must be at their church, the way they complained when they played at the bar.

 

[radtz]

Reminds me of a gig I was hired to do when I had my recording studio shingle out. A band was having a reunion gig and hired me to record it. My plan was to us a M/S set-up center of house, couple of condensers at the back corners of the room to capture some crowd/room noise. I was also going to use 16 channels straight out of the board in case I needed to remix/eq levels afterwords. I asked the band several times about what feeds I could get from the board. I was told "Chuck has pigtails for all of the channels". I must have asked them 5 times to be sure.

I show up to the gig with my mixer, snakes, ADATs and all. I got to the FOH board and talked to Chuck. Needless to say Chuck had no idea what I was talking about and had no "pigtails" or anyway to give me any signal out of the board, and of course had NOOOO interest in helping me out in any way shape or form.

I just went with the mid-side pair and they had to live with ole' Chucks live mix. Super easy recording gig since I couldn't do squat with what I was recording. Good times....good times.

 

[Jakedog]

And now you know why I do a self-contained solo act. I know what equipment I'll be using, how it'll be set up, and usually only need one "sound check" song. It's very soothing to the soul to know that the set up is almost always the same, and the equipment supplied is top notch.

50-60% of my gigs every year are solo. And I do a LOT of gigs a year. And what you’ve laid out is a huge part of the reason why I do so much solo. Nobody to rely or count on but me, and I know I’ll do it right. Plus, I don’t have to split the money. That sounds raw, but it is what it is. And what it is is my job.

 

[teletail]

Hardly anyone in this business knows what the hell they’re doing anymore. It gets worse all the time.

If one more person tells me to lighten up because we’re just having fun I’m gonna lose it. I *can’t have* any fun when everything is disorganized and poorly handled and nobody knows what’s going on. I *can’t have* any fun when nobody knows how to be on stage. Which let’s face it, is a much different scenario than most rehearsal rooms. I can’t have any fun when people are late. Or when they have a cobbled together junk rig that makes freaky noises, cracks and pops, or maybe doesn’t work at all when they finally get it set up ten minutes after start time.

The folks in question in the OP obviously don’t even have any idea what a “Stage Plot” is, when it’s pretty glaringly obvious just from the name. Any minimally intelligent person could discern from the two words involved what was being requested. The person who sent that in just doesn’t care. But they’ll be all upset when things aren’t to their liking.

Sorry. Just a lot of crap flying around lately. @Old Deaf Roadie I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this. Best of luck.

I’m with you! A polished, professional act is fun. A bunch of half fast amateurs is not.