I know 100% of what you mean. When you’re a few drinks in ramping up and you hit that premium mental state. For me, music sounded 20x better - going straight to my feelings and bypassing the normal filtering. It was brief on my way to getting drunk but it was like nirvana. Some historical author called it “liquid sunshine”. I’ve stopped drinking but completely related to this.
Not doubting this, at all... I just wonder which reggae stars? Bob Marley: cancer. Jacob Miller: car wreck. Peter Tosh: gunshot. Carly Barrett: gunshot. (Lots of lead. poisoning in that line of work....) And a bunch who were basically old enough for heart attacks whether they played reggae and got stoned or worked at an auto body shop and retired.)
Joseph Hill of Culture and just when I watch the media with announcements of deaths over the last decade those who have not died via foul play it is usually a heart attack.
You are probably nowhere near far gone enough to not walk away from it. Re the earlier post try to find someone outside of friends and family to talk about your situation to, there will hopefully be charities in your city which offer professional counselling services on a pay what you can basis. I can relate to your situation, when my mum was my dads primary care giver she was smoking up to one hundred cigarettes a day, that was her coping mechanism, she quit just short of three years ago eighteen months after my dad died but the damage is done, I can hear her breathing from the other side of the room and the veins in her legs are wrecked.
Not doubting it... I just didn't know them (and don't know that guy, but I don't pay attention anymore).
This is the correct answer. In 1994, I sat beside the hospital bed as my older brother took his final breath from alcoholism at 44 years old. It's a bad, bad, way to die.
Indeed. Unfortunately those who are killing themselves tend not to listen, the fortunate ones hit some sort of bottom which calls them to their senses.
That is how it ground to a halt for me, in a foreign hospital with the beginnings of organ failure at twenty eight and told that I would be dead within six months unless I turned my life around on the spot and I did. Four years previously I had nearly died in an alcohol related accident and a year after that found myself with pneumonia in an alcoholic ward with guys at least twice my age, schoolteachers etc, who were looking at me like "what the hell are you doing here?", I was twenty five at the time.
