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Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by FenderGyrl, Dec 15, 2019.
This is exactly how I feel. At least Thanksgiving hasn't been ruined.
One thing to add onto my post.... I do enjoy the big displays of lights. The animated and the static, the ones with music and those without. There's several big setups done yearly within easy driving distance. One place has an old fashioned candy store attached to it. Root beer barrels are a favorite there. That's the best for me.
get see all walks of life with the job. it is a happy & sad time. I have tried my best to keep our family tight at the Holidays. my daughters have cranked out a baby in mid Dec last 4 years..that sorta got all us seeing each other a lil bit more. Every year we seem to bond more..One day i will have to fill my dad's shoes....maybe the hardest task ever,.Took time to open my eyes..just sat with mom & dad the other day.. don't know of a better way to spend time...caught it all in time before its gone.
always buy shredders & play the heavies this time of year..
i am meh about christmas these days...i decorated and put up a tree for my mom...shes gone...i dont feel like doing that anymore...i think it looks cool...but its a lot of work...i put a wreath on the door...simple...fast...easy...i do have a ceramic tree with lights...but i dont think ill get that out either
im not depressed...im sad that i cant get the week off between christmas and new years...all through school i had off...my first job which lasted 13 years we got that week off...then it closed...onto a new job(s) some times i could get it off and others not...im in a not having off job...this is the situation i get sad not having off
i dont get to hang around friends much anymore either...so that adds to not getting into christmas...well thats my story...i want a vacation!
The season seems artificial, superficial and forced upon. Consumerism gone amuck. I like quaint dinners with close friends that we do throughout the year much better and look forward to those during the holiday season. We are both involved in two volunteer organizations, so some of that occurs as we try to help others not so fortunate.
I do the obligatory crap and usually end up with having a good time:
Decorate our tree that we cut down just yards from the house.
Christmas Eve Eve with the step daughters and their families 90 miles away. Sometimes staying overnight depending on the weather.
Christmas Day, hour-long phone call with my side of the family.
I can usually hold my tongue through those things. Liquor is typically involved to lessen the pain.
But Christmas Eve and Christmas day is just the two of us up on this remote mountain enjoying the crackly fire and I cook a ham with my mom's special cherry sauce, plus a green bean casserole, while Mrs. Obsessed cooks her mashed potatoes. Fine wine and a quiet sharing of watching wild animals travel by in the snow. Usually, a NGD for one of us is involved too, although we both already splurged last month on those items, so neither of us are exchanging gifts this year. We don't reminisce much, but talk about plans for the coming year, play guitar and enjoy the peace and quiet.
Merry Christmas to those who like a simple, quiet introspective holiday season and to those less fortunate, our best wishes for a better, healthier New Year.
I grew up in a huge Italian family. 2 houses next door to each other. Grandma in one house. Great grandma in the other. So much food, so many relatives. Midnight Mass.
My grandfather was Greek and married into the Italian family. His relatives lived in the houses behind the Grandmothers on the other side of the block. All of them were Greek Orthodox and celebrated Christmas on Jan 7th. Seafood, a lamb was there to pet and then there on your plate. So many memories. As happens, the older folks passed. Younger relatives kept the traditions going. Eventually the years saw the family spread apart.
Those memories are so strong. Its hard to feel one way or another about them. They were happy times. No way to explain the feeling of how it was to experience them.
I was lucky to have been a part of such a huge family back then. Good times.
ive watched many old films and tv shows going back to the 30s..they complained about the same thing...i can put that out of my mind...some cant
I like to put up lights and I like when the town is lit up and people are out and doing stuff... we love our town bonfire. We'll take some treats to our favorite bar and have a couple of drinks. We have kids coming home and lots of changes for them, but great to see them and catch up. I like buying presents, I like getting a christmas tree... I love cooking a bunch of food and I love my wife's cooking and how everyone goes crazy over the stuff we make for them. I like having a fire out back and just sitting with not often seen relatives.
We'll play some guitar and sing. There will be some annoying things and things won't be perfect and I'll have a few moments where some old sad thoughts will return and haunt me, but I'll shake that off and take a long walk with my dog and I'll be better.
My wife's kids (she is social worker) will have a big celebration and we are spoiling the daylights out of them with stuff they want and need... we won't see them on christmas (boundary rules) but, that has been really fun the last couple of weeks.
Depression is a terrible thing... I'm so sorry for those who suffer... I don't know what to say other than I am sending good vibes your way...
What a wonderful way to spend the Eve and Say with your other half! Fantastic and peaceful! Good for you!
Great post Getbent,
Yeah...ya gotta shake off those bad thoughts.
Good advice. I'll keep that one in mind.
Merry Christmas GB
Tree is up. Maybe when I get home from watching football it'll be decorated.
Christmas can be a tough time for some of us. It can make us feel isolated and “left out”. Then, there’s the “weight of expectation” to deal with... If you’re feeling “low” anyway, it can be difficult to cope with.
It might be easier said than done but forget the hype and make Christmas your own, whatever that may be. Don’t judge your Christmas by other people’s standards. It’s your day, go for it.
We have a lot to be thankful for, hope you have a good day
My wife celebrates every birthday and holiday to the nines, and I do not. She respects our differences, and that's why she's a keeper to me. I'm not depressed or anything, celebration is just not for me. It's not that it feels fake or forced upon me, I'm not bothered by consumerism. I have no interest in Christmas or any holiday for the sake of one day on a calendar, every day should have the same value. Each event is something that I endure. Travel is another thing I'm not into. I could be at the nicest hotel in Hawaii and be ready to leave after four days, tops. I can't relax on vacation away from home. Home is where all my stuff is. My interests, my stuff, my domain is all in one place where I am most comfortable and engaged. It's not materialism, it's introspection and the lack of neediness for much contact with people outside of my immediate (small, comfortable) circle. I'd be happy by myself with a pizza and a cold beer on Christmas or any other day. How do I feel during Christmas? I feel fine.
tired and exhausted , just another day on the calender same with new years
"Maybe Christmas," thought the Grinch, "doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more."
Wise words from Theodore Geisel, aka Dr. Seuss.
Great post, FG. For my wife and me it’s two visits from my son and his girlfriend. Once on Christmas Eve and again on Christmas Day. Probably a couple hours each, so that’s 4 hours total with them. Not bad.
I can definitely relate to your story. I was brought up in a Portuguese household. Christmas was a big deal. The entire family and many friends would come over Christmas Eve and my mother would cook up a storm. Many an American were indoctrinated to Azorean cuisine in that kitchen. People who had never heard, let alone tried octopus stew, or bacalhao, or shrimp Mozambique left believers. My parents have long since passed and my elderly mil lives near the Jersey shore, which isn’t the only daunting thing about that(meaning the six hour drive). To make matters worse, my wife is at odds with her sisters who live near there. As for my two brothers, one lives in Florida and the other in Connecticut. We have a cordial relationship, but not very close.
I’m sorry you suffer the way you do. It’s hard to see everyone you know around you having quality time with family and friends this time of year. I wish you didn’t live so far away. You could come over to our place. We’d stuff our faces and then jam! That would be fun. Just know that you’re not alone, and you always have your TDPRI family around to lean on when you’re feeling blue.
Christmas is hard on many people and I suspect the weather has a lot to do with it; I feel it myself thanks to constant night and overcast skies. It's difficult to get through the dreary winter with short days and long nights and the isolation. Making it worse, the traffic with the mad rush of the holidays makes it hard to get out. Each year I worry if this is the last season with my parents - I can't imagine life without them, much less a family oriented holiday like Christmas without them, but it's important to remember the reason for the season and shopping and gifts have nothing to do with it. Blessings to everyone during the Christmas season. I hope you have loved ones/friends to share it with or the chance to find yourself someplace sunny to combat the winter blues.
Hey, Fendergyrl! I'm sorry you struggle with meaning at this time of year and sorry that this is going to be a long post, but here it goes.
As I came out of college I noticed that none of my musical influences was able to keep a marriage together. My parents were love birds and best friends so I wanted to be married to my best friend. I did two things: I pursued a career in recording engineering that allowed me to have a family life and I married very well to a lovely, smart gal. From the very start we worked to establish our own Christmas traditions. Though we've gone through thirty-nine years, bringing up a family and having them grow up and move out, nothing has really changed. Why? The core of our little family was always my lovely wife and myself and our love for each other.
So how does it work out? Firstly, both of us have strong religious beliefs and our particular religion is where Christmas came from in the first place. Secondly, somewhere along the line, despite my natural tendencies, I discovered that I enjoy giving to my wife more than just about anything in the world. We lived through a lot of really lean years when Christmas was the only time of year when we could afford to give each other much of anything and that made the process much more meaningful. My wife feels the same way.
We've been watching our collection of Christmas movies since Thanksgiving. They are old and cheesy but we love them anyway. Because both of us work, I'm sitting here in a messy house only a week before Christmas. The tree isn't up. We'll probably clean the house and put it up today. We'll put on some music, starting with a horrible Bing Crosby CD with terrible fidelity that my wife loves and is central to her Christmas musical tradition. Then we'll put up the prefab because my wife is chronically ill and we can't predict when we'll be able to go out and get a tree each year. Then we'll pull out the ornaments. In our first years we couldn't afford to buy ornaments so we made them ourselves. Some of our ideas worked out really well so people asked us to make ornaments for them. Eventually people began sending us ornaments, such as one given us when our first son was born. As a result of all this, the majority of our ornaments carry memories which makes decorating the tree a meaningful thing for us.
Next week we'll begin baking cookies and treats. Eventually, probably on Christmas eve, my wife will bake her Ukrainian Pascha bread. It is a soft, light, braided Easter bread with raisins. She found that recipe' On Christmas morning we brew up coffee, put on music, sit down with Pascha, and open the presents.
Presents. I love to shop for my wife. Lots of guys aren't comfortable with it, so I created a shopping guide for husbands and published it over HERE. A typical situation might be Christmas of 2016. It started when my father died in December of 2015 and we traveled to participate in the funeral. It was a celebration of a life well-lived. On the way home we found a Royal Doulton china figurine she loved at a shop. I didn't have the money to buy it then but spent the next year I searching for another good example. I finally found the best example at a small shop in England. I imported it and surprised her on Christmas morning. It took all year but the process was incredibly rewarding and exciting.
Another December my wife discovered that she had lost her diamond anniversary ring. She was heartbroken. After we unsuccessfully searched and dumpster dived, I just made the decision on the spot that we were going to find a way to replace it for Christmas. I took her shopping for a mount. I combined the diamonds from her and her mom's engagement rings and bought a couple more to create a new ring. It was another fun Christmas.
One of my sons loves dogs and married a gal who is the same way. On Christmas they love to do a shift at the local no-kill pet shelter to give the regular crew the say off. It gives their Christmas more meaning.
But that, and the original meaning of the holiday, are the kind of things that keep the season from lacking meaning. We kind of pursue the meaning in an active way, hoping that our commitment and activity will produce the meaning we hope for. I hope you find some meaning as well.
Great post @Bob Womack. It helped remind me about the positives around Christmas.
We’re doing something special this year. Our two sons are both getting married in 2020. We rounded up family jewelry. Grandpa’s wedding ring passed down, and other old gold of family significance. We rounded up enough to melt down, and have a new pair of matching gold wedding bands made. The boys will get one each for their weddings. We’ll present them after a family dinner. Maybe during dessert and coffee over the holidays.
Christmas Eve will be a night of "Its a Wonderful Life" and Christmas Day will be "The Christmas Story" all day long. We decided to stop gift exchange years ago, I will buy a few small things for nieces and nephews. My children all live elsewhere, we may have a get together with the two youngest shortly after the holidays. Not really a depressing time of year for me but it is rather somber.