TC6969
Friend of Leo's
Are you a tail biter, a seam cracker, or do you just throw the whole thing in and crunch?
How Do You Eat Goldfish Crackers?
- Thread starter TC6969
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An elementary school math teacher asked her class one day, "If there are three birds on a wire, and a farmer shot one, how many are left?"
One little boy said two, but little Sally, realizing it was a trick question, said, "None, 'cause everyone knows that if you shoot at birds they all fly away." The teacher congratulates her on her correct answer.
Little Johnny, however, disagreed. He said, "No, there would be one -- the one that the farmer shot."
The teacher replied, "No, Johnny, you're wrong, but I like the way you think."
"OK, teacher, I have a riddle for you," boasted Johnny. "Let's say three women are at a bar and they each order a single scoop ice cream cone. The first one eats it by gently licking it around the edges, the second slowly sucks the ice cream off the cone from the top, and the third gobbles the top and then sucks the rest out of the cone. Which one is married?"
After a few seconds of contemplation, the teacher replied, "Well, I think it must be the third, the one that gobbles the top and sucks out the inside."
Johnny responded, "No, teacher, you're wrong -- it's the one with the wedding ring. But I like the way you think."
One little boy said two, but little Sally, realizing it was a trick question, said, "None, 'cause everyone knows that if you shoot at birds they all fly away." The teacher congratulates her on her correct answer.
Little Johnny, however, disagreed. He said, "No, there would be one -- the one that the farmer shot."
The teacher replied, "No, Johnny, you're wrong, but I like the way you think."
"OK, teacher, I have a riddle for you," boasted Johnny. "Let's say three women are at a bar and they each order a single scoop ice cream cone. The first one eats it by gently licking it around the edges, the second slowly sucks the ice cream off the cone from the top, and the third gobbles the top and then sucks the rest out of the cone. Which one is married?"
After a few seconds of contemplation, the teacher replied, "Well, I think it must be the third, the one that gobbles the top and sucks out the inside."
Johnny responded, "No, teacher, you're wrong -- it's the one with the wedding ring. But I like the way you think."
Vibroluxer
Poster Extraordinaire
By the handful.
Same here, and just Pizza Goldfish for me.
( I prefer Cheese Nips, or Cheeze- Its for cheese crackers)
Handful toss.
staxman
Friend of Leo's
I dated a nurse once who was a tailbiter. But it was the way she ate ice cream that kept me interested…
Rustbucket
Poster Extraordinaire
Kinda funny story…my nine year old daughter inadvertently heard that joke a few weeks ago, and then decided to recite a more innocent version about 3 girls eating jelly beans to her grandmother the next day. She nailed the punchline but missed the humor behind it.
TC6969
Friend of Leo's
You handful tossers are nothing but a bunch of heathens!
haggardfan1
Poster Extraordinaire
I have preferred Cheez It Snap'd for a while now. The last bag I bought seems really salty. I mean, really salty, overpowering any extra cheese flavor.
I'm going back to Goldfish. I think my ex's kids had the right idea. Just regular flavor, I've always liked them.
Gotta trust the experts when it comes to combining cereals, which my daughter and I callec suicide cereal
, and salty snacks. My beloved older daughter loved those Tom's bagged fries, and reintroduced me to them. I don't eat much of either anymore, but I always think of Lauren while doing that or watching animal movies. 
Re combining cereal, that's a thread all its own!
I'm going back to Goldfish. I think my ex's kids had the right idea. Just regular flavor, I've always liked them.
Gotta trust the experts when it comes to combining cereals, which my daughter and I callec suicide cereal
, and salty snacks. My beloved older daughter loved those Tom's bagged fries, and reintroduced me to them. I don't eat much of either anymore, but I always think of Lauren while doing that or watching animal movies. Re combining cereal, that's a thread all its own!
BrettFuzz
Tele-Holic
I agree. I use a shovel, like a true gentleman.
RLangham98
Tele-Holic
I haven't had goldfish in a number of years. But I remember when I was young being told it was "off-putting" how I ate animal crackers... head then limbs then body.
not in years....havent eaten cheese its in a long time too...dont get me wrong...i eat my fair share of junk food
there is no crazy like nurse crazy. You are lucky to have survived.
Knows3Chords
Poster Extraordinaire
Pffft....... Amatuers.
staxman
Friend of Leo's
I used to have a thing about nurses, but it damn near broke me.
Rectum? Damn near killed him!
haggardfan1
Poster Extraordinaire
Dated a couple myself. I agree on both posts. Was engaged to one, but long story.
staxman
Friend of Leo's
It was difficult to explain the bite marks.
Let’s go back to goldfish crackers—quickly!!! Last edited:
I can help! calmly say, 'you know that wolves, when hunting large game, like buffalo, caribou, moose, elk, will approach the victim from behind and bite with the intention to pierce the colon, bladder knowing that it will cause infection if they cannot immediately bring their prey to a quick death.'It was difficult to explain the bite marks.
Just say that... it will make the entire ER quiet.
staxman
Friend of Leo's
Just imagine what happened to my ice cream cone…
