How did you propose?

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by the_lyall, Sep 13, 2017.

  1. Sparky2

    Sparky2 Friend of Leo's

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    In my first marriage, I really cannot recall the details.
    We were never really suited for each other, and I have repressed most of the entire experience.

    I am happily remarried now, and I can recall very well the circumstance of my proposal to the current spouse.

    We had dated on the North Shore of Oahu for about a year, and it was really really good.
    Both of us were divorced, and being with each other was better than anything either of us had ever known before, in our previous lives.

    At around the one year mark, however, the inevitable economies of the relationship started to creep into the picture.
    She would spend a few nights a week at my place, and I would spend a few nights a week at her place.
    We began to discuss moving in together, to save money, and (for me, anyway) that felt like a huge step.
    And far too much like a second marriage, which I wasn't ready for.

    We fought, resentment set in, words were said, and it all blew up.
    We broke up, spectacularly, and in an ugly fashion.

    Beth and I spent many, many months apart.
    I carried on, surfing, working, and chasing a variety of skinny-dipping surfer girls.
    One of them even moved in with me, and I eventually sent that one off to go serve her brief stint in the US Air Force.

    Eventually, I began to tire of juggling a variety of gals who meant nothing to me emotionally, and I began to miss the one girl who meant everything to me.

    I missed Beth, and it dawned on me that I may have royally f@%ked-up.
    I had missed that one opportunity, and all out of a fear of commitment.

    I contacted her, and tried to get her to meet me and talk about getting back together.
    She rejected me, as well she should.
    "You hurt me, you dumped me, and you have been running around with all these other girls. I don't want anything to do with you."

    She told me to go screw myself, as it should be.

    Eventually though, she relented, and we met and talked about everything that had gone right, and everything that had gone wrong.
    I confessed to her that the fear of how our friends and family might view our getting together (so soon after our divorces) had been huge, and all-consuming.

    But now there was an even greater fear;
    Losing her forever.

    She was skeptical, but willing to give it a chance.
    We began to date again, and hesitantly, and delicately, tried to rebuild something that had once been magical, but now seemed broken.

    We had a hard go of it.
    The fact that I had spent some time with some other girls (and one in particular) seemed an insurmountable challenge.
    We fought in the front seat of my GMC truck one day.

    "You were all too happy to be scrogging that slut, (insert name here), why should I trust that you won't change your mind again, and go back to her instead of me??"

    I shouted, "If I wanted to be with her, I would still be with her. But I don't want to spend the rest of my life with her, I want to spend the rest of my life with you! Why can't you get that??"

    "You want to spend the rest of your life with me? Well, when the f@%k are you going to propose to me??"

    "All right, right here and now? Okay! Will you f@%king marry me, God-damn it???"

    "I don't f@%king know!!!!"

    Eventually she said yes, and we eloped ourselves.

    Once the anger and the resentment went away, and became replaced by a contentment and a real, loving trust, everything became so very good.

    We got married, and have been happy together ever since.

    We've been married for 18 and a half years now, and things are better than ever.


    Okay, I'm gonna shut up now.
    :):(:confused:
     
  2. Ira7

    Ira7 Doctor of Teleocity

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    It ain't always like in the movies, but it still worked for you!
     
  3. the_lyall

    the_lyall Telepathetic

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    Thanks all - to me it's great how many different situations and circumstances can lead to a proposal, and even if not perfect at the start, so many seem to have stayed together for so long! :)

    As @Ira7 said, it ain't always like in the movies
     
  4. tery

    tery Poster Extraordinaire

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    I proposed as the sun was setting over the Mississippi in downtown Minneapolis .
    Thirty days after we were engaged with a ring and everything ~ my princess charming went crazy , they had to haul her away in eight point restraints and lock her up in a psychiatric hospital & that was the end of that .
     
  5. Gmountain

    Gmountain Tele-Holic

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    I bought a nice steak and was going to make a nice dinner at home and ask her. We were already living together, but she didn't know when I was going to do it. So we were sitting on the couch and the power went out. It was dark, and dinner wasn't going to get made, so I lit a candle, put the ring on her finger and asked her.

    She pretty much wore that ring every day until we got married. After that she didn't wear it much, and after a month or so she stopped wearing her wedding ring. I never even had a wedding ring.

    Still, it worked out pretty well, and our 35th anniversary is in two weeks!
     
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  6. Ira7

    Ira7 Doctor of Teleocity

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    She didn't like the ring, huh?
     
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  7. Ira7

    Ira7 Doctor of Teleocity

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    I took my wedding band off to play guitar, maybe 5 years married.

    Lost it, in the park.

    I still haven't heard the last of that, 23 years later.
     
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  8. brobar

    brobar Tele-Holic

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    New Years Eve in downtown St Louis with the Gateway Arch towering over us. We went for the New Year festivities. At the stroke of midnight when the fireworks are going off, I get down on one knee, pull out the ring box, open it, tell her how special she is to me and how lucky I am, and ask if she'll marry me.

    Less than an hour earlier I pulled a bonehead move. It was really cold that night, she is from California so she wasn't used to the cold. I was holding her close to keep her warm and she asked "can I put my hands in your coat pocket to keep them warm?" As she is about to put her hands into my pockets I realized the engagement ring was in there. I didn't want to spoil the surprise and if her hand made it inside the pocket the gig would have been up, so like an idiot I panicked and shoved her hand away and said NO! :eek:

    What a dumbass! I'm lucky she said "yes" after that! :lol:

    We've been happily married for going on 18 years now.
     
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  9. Ira7

    Ira7 Doctor of Teleocity

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    Now THAT'S a great story!
     
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  10. Ira7

    Ira7 Doctor of Teleocity

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    Remember the show "Love American Style?"

    These stories here, TRUE stories, would make for a great TV series. Short 10, 15 minute segments.

    Fact is always better (not stranger) than fiction. Because no one can write anything more fascinating than actual reality.
     
  11. john_cribbin

    john_cribbin Tele-Afflicted

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    Ten seconds after her father cocked the shotgun!!
     
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  12. gypsy jim

    gypsy jim Tele-Afflicted Ad Free Member

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    I told her we could save on taxes. She said OK. I wanted to get married on Halloween. She wasn't having that.
     
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  13. moosie

    moosie Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

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    So romantic...


    I was at a pay phone, calling her during lunch time on a work day. I just blurted it out. To her credit, she accepted immediately.

    We'd only known each other for SIX WEEKS. I don't think our parents thought much of our chances together. That was 33 years ago... still married.
     
  14. PastorJay

    PastorJay Tele-Afflicted

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    We had discussed getting married but I had never "popped the question." We hadn't set a date.

    But we had browsed for rings.

    On Christmas Eve Day, alone in my parents' kitchen, I told her I had something to give her. Then I got a Cracker Jack ring out of my pocket. She looked a little confused. I said, "oh, that's the wrong one," and took my mother's engagement ring (sized because I figured out what her ring size was while "browsing") out of the other pocket and gave it to her.

    We lasted 32 years. I can't imagine anyone else would have put up with me so long. Lost her to cancer in February. Miss her every day.
     
  15. moosie

    moosie Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

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    ...Buried in a deeply nested conditional sequence...
     
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  16. LeftFinger

    LeftFinger Friend of Leo's

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    That sounds like the pregnant woman in the ditch joke.
    She said she wasn't pregnant .
    You said you're not out of the ditch yet sweetie
     
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  17. moosie

    moosie Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

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    My son asked his GF's dad. Announced his intent, etc.

    Of course, that intent was already quite apparent. At that time they already had a 1-1/2 year old daughter, and she was four months pregnant. :lol:

    My 83-year-old dad just complains: "Why is everybody doing things in reverse?"

    Get over it, dad. :)
     
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  18. moosie

    moosie Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

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    I was a framing contractor when we got married. One day a few months in, I swung from second to first floor by grabbing a stud wall plate. Ring caught in the wood, and nearly took my finger off. Instead, I took the ring off, and have never worn it since. It sits in a little ceramic dish my son made, along with a few special seashells, a garnet crystal, and a few old coins and keys. Wife quickly figured out it didn't make a bit of difference to our marriage.

    In fact... I have the dubious honor of getting my then-fiancé to pay for her own ring. I'd just started my building business, with so very little in the way of resources, and every penny I had was in it, to cover payroll. Every penny was like a whole thousand bucks. She on the other hand, was wealthy, with fifteen hundred bucks.... How we ever made it I have no idea...

    Jewelry means less than nothing to me. Just a waste. Regardless, I made up for all of it after we had some reasonable financial success in our lives. About 15 years ago I got her a big fat diamond in platinum, flanked by two littler fat diamonds... Complete surprise, no special occasion. Just "do you have a minute?"

    The look on her face... it was almost worth the money :D
     
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  19. Lake Placid Blue

    Lake Placid Blue Poster Extraordinaire

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    Almost?
     
  20. telleutelleme

    telleutelleme Doctor of Teleocity Silver Supporter

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    My wife asked me if I was going to marry her. We had been together a few months. Both had prior bad marriages. I think she just wanted to know if we were serious. I said yes, pick a time. We drove to Carlsbad New Mexico the following weekend and got married at the Eddy County Courthouse. We walked in in our shorts, shirts and sandals to ask how long the waiting period was following the application. Clerk told us the judge would do it right then. Two clerks were our witnesses. After the ceremony, I went to the car got the ring out of the trunk and placed it on her finger. Never wore our "wedding" clothes. 44 years so far.
     
    Last edited: Sep 16, 2017
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