How about "Funny" gig stories??

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by studio1087, Oct 27, 2021.

  1. studio1087

    studio1087 Telefied Silver Supporter

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    I have a college band memory that always takes me back.

    We played frequently at a bar in central WI called "The Free Spirit". The Free Spirit was a rough club; two nights per week they had bands and 5 nights per week they had strippers. Anything to keep drinkers in that club. Our bass player loved to move. He could move like Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Here's a big problem for him. The stripper pole was over on his side of the stage. He would be rocking out and he'd smack the stripper pole with his P-Bass. We'd hear "Clank" followed by Eric screaming a vulger swear word. I felt bad for his P-Bass but the clank followed by selective swear words was very funny.

    Another The Free Spirit story..........they had these nasty dirty 7 foot fake palm trees that they would pull out and line the stage for the naked lady dancers. I guess it was sexy. The trees were pulled off stage for bands. Our lead guitsr player was like Francis on Stripes (the movie). You never touched his stuff. "Any of yoz guys touch my stuff, and I'll kill you". One gig he was particularily cranky and after second set he went out in the parking lot with a very pretty girl. Eric (the bass player) and I dragged all the fake palm trees out around his full stack. From the crowd you couldn't even see his amp. We called the guitar back in when we needed to get on stage. He strapped his explored on the the break room and we all walked out on stage. He looked like he wanted to kill me and Eric onstage. Oh my lord it was so funny.

    Rock and roll in the neighborhood strip club. Good times. Yep, good times.

    Funny gig stories?
     
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  2. ce24

    ce24 Poster Extraordinaire

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    I did a gig that had a lengerie girlie show in front of the band. The people out front thought they were getting a great wiggle tittie show while we the band got the best show when they bent over to wiggle their boobs…no bare boobs but we had a hard time playing because we were laughing so hard.
     
  3. PoorNoodle

    PoorNoodle Tele-Meister

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    I was the lead singer. Before the gig in a small club a woman suggests I take my shirt off before I get on stage. I think ha ha, very funny and shrug it off. Im closer to beer belly than six pack, so I don’t take her seriously. First song goes well. Crowd is into it. Middle of the first verse of the second song and the woman loses patience. She launches onto the stage and tears my shirt off. My bandmates jaws drop. We barely manage to keep the song together. We finish the song and I quip “That’s rock n roll!” Crowd loves it. We finish the set. I never did see that woman again. I miss my t-shirt…:(:D
     
  4. StrangerNY

    StrangerNY Poster Extraordinaire Gold Supporter

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    Gig story #1 - One night we were playing a gig out on Long Island, and I broke a string mid-set. I was playing a Les Paul at the time,, and I went to take it off to hand off to my tech. I nearly got the guitar over my head, but the strap caught on my elbow and since I was already in motion to get it off as quickly as possible, the trajectory of the guitar changed and I clocked myself square in the forehead with it.

    It took me a second to clear my head, but I got the guitar switched off and finished the set. As I was playing the end of the set I looked down in front of the stage and there were two girls standing there, staring at me. This of course led me to believe that they were enthralled by my talent and good looks - until we finished and went back to the dressing room.

    At that point I got to look in the mirror, and the entire left side of my face was covered in blood. I looked like a refugee from a horror movie.

    As a follow-up - a couple of weeks later I did the exact same thing and smacked myself in the exact same spot on the forehead, reopening the cut. My tech had a towel ready that time.

    - D
     
  5. StrangerNY

    StrangerNY Poster Extraordinaire Gold Supporter

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    Gig story #2 - One night in Trumbull, Connecticut, we were playing a club and we had been out on the road for about a week on a swing through Jersey, New York and Connecticut and tempers were a little thin. We had a singer who would always complain that we (the guitarists) were too loud and he'd always get in our ears on stage to turn it down. We mostly ignored him. :)

    But that night, the singer went up to the other guitarist and screamed in his face 'Could you please turn it the f**k down??' My boy was already in a mood that night and wasn't in the mood for getting yelled at. He stopped playing, turned to his amp...and grabbed his full bottle of Bud, calmly turned around, grabbed the singer by his collar and poured the entire beer down the front of his shirt.

    Things got frosty in the dressing room after the set and the crew had to separate them. But watching that beer getting poured down the singer's shirt was one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life.

    - D
     
  6. Tim G

    Tim G Tele-Meister

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    We did a job in the late '70s that 2 couples got on the dance floor while we played and had a strip tease contest. Once they were completely naked they gathered their clothes and went to the rest rooms to get dressed.
     
  7. Killing Floor

    Killing Floor Poster Extraordinaire Silver Supporter

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    Any gig at the Clermont Lounge was a funny gig story. Blondie trying to dance to a live band despite having no rhythm or general sense of balance, the needles on the floor of the restroom/dancer dressing room, the 2" thick black moldy dust on the ceiling fans, the drinks that only come in Solo cups or cans so nobody gets hurt.

    But one of my funniest gig stories was at another Atlanta institution of ill repute. A good friend was drumming in the opening act so naturally (naturally!) we went behind the stage with drum sticks and whacked on his stool out of rhythm until he stood up in the middle of a song to chase us away. Hey, I thought it was funny, I am usually right about what is funny.
    Later that night we were playing and I stoved my headstock into a PAR38 and threw some sparks for an instant. I have always loved fetid, swampy bars.
     
  8. brookdalebill

    brookdalebill Tele Axpert Ad Free Member

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    I’ve told these before, so I”ll be brief.
    I once showed up to a gig a week early.
    The leader, now well known, hired me and two others to play a luau gig.
    We put on our best Hawaiian shirts and caravanned to the gig, a private residence in Oak Hill.
    We arrive at the house, gear in hand.
    The host answers the door, we ask where we set up, host tells us it’s the NEXT Saturday.
    Doh!
    Not my fault, this tine.


    Here’s another.
    I had a “show band” that played frat parties, circa 1978.
    The Illustrated Band.
    Stupid name.
    I’m 21.
    The band was not good, but we were entertaining, and stayed busy.
    We even had a booking agent, named Max.
    He booked us in a rock bar in Harker Heights, Tx.
    It’s near Ft. Hood, so lots of young enlisted men hung out there.
    As I mentioned, we were a show band.
    We changed clothes and performed as 4 different bands in the course of a “show”.
    Frat boys and sorority girls liked us.
    We were NOT a rock band
    We played our rock set, and it was immediately clear we weren’t what the club was used to.
    All four of us were in our early twenties, at the time.
    After a first set, the manager fired us.
    He was actually kind.
    He pro-rated our pay, and told us to come back when we’re ready.
    Ouch!
     
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  9. StrangerNY

    StrangerNY Poster Extraordinaire Gold Supporter

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    Gig story #3 - While we were playing the NE club circuit, we definitely made a lot of friends among the female members of our audience. I had a (sort of) girlfriend at the time, but I had met another two girls and had hung out with them also, but none of them knew about the others.

    One night we played a pretty happening club and we got a pretty big crowd - among them, all 3 girls I was seeing! I was in the dressing room and mentioned to our road manager that I was in a bit of trouble if any of them found out that they weren't my only, umm, interest. My road manager said 'Let me see what I can do' and left the dressing room.

    The club we were playing was a pretty big place with lots of tables and different areas. About 10 minutes later, my road manager came back and said 'Come with me.' He walked me through the club to a table where Girl #1 and her friend was sitting. I sat down and was chatting and hanging out, and about 5 minutes later road manager came back and said 'I have to talk to you about the set.' I got up and he walked me to a different area of the club where Girl #2 and her friends were sitting. I sat down and hung out for a while until my road manager came back and said 'I need you to check out your amp.' Walked me to yet another part of the club where Girl #3 was sitting, and I hung out there until it was time to hit the stage.

    This went on all night - and unbelievably, none of the girls ever found out that the other two were there.

    My road manager eventually left the band and went to work for a couple of recording acts. He worked his way up through the ranks and now is personal manager for a couple of top-line rock legends. I'm sure he got to his current position by showing his clients the same level of attention and imagination that he showed me that one night. I still don't know how he did it.

    - D
     
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  10. nojazzhere

    nojazzhere Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

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    Not sure how "funny".....but one of the "funnest" gigs I ever played. Going way back to High School days, my band played a Saturday MORNING dance for TARS....."Teens Aid Retarded Students". (yeah, we still used "retarded" then) These were Elementary and Jr High Special Ed students, and they were having a BLAST!!!! They were dancing and running around, with NO inhibitions. We were mid-song, and I turned my back for a few seconds, and when I turned around, there was a Special Needs boy about halfway across the room, running full tilt (about 90 MPH) straight at me. Time actually slowed down and in slow motion he kept coming at me. I keep playing, but I'm "frozen" and can't move out of the way. (BTW.....we're not on a stage, but at floor level) At the VERY LAST SECOND, one of the teenage helpers saw what was happening, and was able to grab him. He was right at my mic stand when stopped, and had the most joyous look of enjoyment on his face. I couldn't help but laugh, and when the song was over I let him come strum my guitar, while I fingered the chords. I think (hope) it made his day. ;)
     
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  11. StrangerNY

    StrangerNY Poster Extraordinaire Gold Supporter

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    Great story! That reminds me of....

    Gig story #4 - Before we made the move to New York we played a lot of shows around Philly. My bass player's little brother had a friend who was a deaf mute who used to hang around while we practiced, and he asked my bass player's brother if he could get the band to play at his school. Things were set into motion and we ended up playing a show at a school for the deaf!

    We carried a pretty big PA system in those days, and the biggest memory I have of that show is looking over at the PA stacks and seeing 3 or 4 kids with their heads stuck inside the bass bins! Crazy.

    - D
     
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  12. ReverendRevolver

    ReverendRevolver Friend of Leo's

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    I don't have any good ones.

    We once ended a gig with me starting into 99 red balloons. The venues loading/unloading door is right behind where we're playing.
    The rythm player plays a wrong chord and puts his guitar down. Walks out the door behind us. Drummer "messes up" throws sticks , walks. Bass player drops bass, walks, unplugs me on his way out. I run after them with my guitar on, dragging the cable, yelling at them.

    Audience cheers and laughs through a whole smoke break, we pack up. The sound guy asked if we're going to encore or something. I politely tell him none of our songs can get a reaction as good as 3 dudes abandoning me on stage. We pack up as people ask where we're playing next and the bartender rebooks us.

    Whyd I bother with a set list?
     
  13. nojazzhere

    nojazzhere Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

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    That IS awesome.
    I taught Special Ed for ten years before retiring, and loved working with those kids far more than mainstream students. I would do "music therapy", using a little Yamaha FG Jr acoustic, and the students loved it. I can't say there was any REAL benefit to them.....but they had fun.....and many of them had ZERO fun at home. :(
     
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  14. srblue5

    srblue5 Tele-Holic

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    I've had a few...

    My band in university was pretty awful as far as hobbyist garage bands go but during one faculty fundraiser gig, our piano player's music stand collapsed a minute into "Don't Stop Believing" (a song I absolutely despise...no offence to anyone who loves it). I have video footage of it. She couldn't touch a piano key without sheet music in front of her so her "OMG" facial expression and general sense of helplessness while the rest of us soldiered on was priceless. Kinda served her right for acting like a diva sometimes in that band (including insisting on always playing "Don't Stop Believing"). :p

    My glasses once flew off at the end of a gig when I did a Townshend-style jump. Apparently there's video evidence of that out there but I have yet to see it. Good times. :lol:

    My current band did a gig a few years ago where we were playing on somebody's acreage outside of town. They called it a "festival", but really we were just playing in their garage. We had a good funky blues jam going and while the ending was crescendoing or raving up (Yardbirds-style), the circuit breaker blew. Our amps suddenly shut off and the momentum was killed in a rather comedic way. Luckily they reset the breaker pretty quick but it was hilarious, especially when the power came back on and the singer shouted, "Let's do that again!"

    Not quite as funny but amusing nevertheless was when a fill-in drummer was essentially auditioning for my band. He did well at practice but at the gig itself, he got really intoxicated and his playing deteriorated as the night went on. At several points, he left the stage mid-set so we'd have no drums for like the first half of the next song. It was almost a Looney Tunes moment when mid-song, the bass player yelled, "[Drummer's name], what are you doing out there in the audience?" Other times, he would drop his sticks mid-song and start jamming on his bongos or cowbell. I should've asked him what he thought of how he fared.
     
  15. El Serio

    El Serio Tele-Meister

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    I'll bet there was a benefit, just getting them in a happy place probably helped them learn afterward.

    I play every day for my non-verbal 9 year old, she absolutely loves it. She takes me by the hand and leads me to the guitar then "throws" my hand at the guitar.
    She runs around the house yelling, spinning, rocking on the rocking chair or banging on the piano (or my guitar).
    She would prefer several hours a day of it, though I can't always oblige. It also help keep her out of other mischief, so my wife likes it too.
     
  16. Joshiquad

    Joshiquad Tele-Meister

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    I was playing bass in a power trio; we had a gig where the stage was the back of a flatbed truck. This flatbed had issues – namely not enough support underneath which made it very bouncy. The drummer , while trying to keep from losing balance, lost a drumstick which flew though the air at a nice trajectory for me to practice my hacky-sack skills. I gave it a kick with my insole, and the stick again flew through the air, this time back into the drummer’s hand and he didn’t miss a beat. Man I wish I had film of that.
     
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  17. radtz

    radtz Tele-Meister

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    We were playing a bar in northern Wisconsin back in the 80s. It was a place we played monthly or so. We were having a blah night and we were bored. We decided to play the third set in our underwear to entertain ourselves. Not that big a deal for the drummer and us guitar players, but our lead singer didn't have much instrument coverage. The ladies really enjoyed the 3rd set. The farm boys not so much. As we were tearing down and loading out to our bus, the farm boys started gathering to have a few words about our costume change. They ticked me off so much that when I was carrying a bass cabinet out I yelled "it ain't a bale of hay, but it sure is heavy." Somehow we avoided a fight and left. Needless to say, when played there again, it was in our underwear.
     
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  18. teletail

    teletail Friend of Leo's

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    Funniest was when we were playing this little club and an enthusiastic audience member decided they wanted to sing along. They grabbed the guitar players mic stand and accidentally stepped on his foot. He started to fall backwards, but it was in slow motion and he played all the way down, winded up in the fireplace behind him. He finally stopped playing and we were all looking like, "should we laugh, or is he hurt." He was OK and the audience member was chastised, but just watching him go down in slow motion was really funny.

    2nd funniest was playing in a country music bar with a blues band. We had a black singer who was about 350 lbs and this skinny grandma starts in the back of the club and runs toward the stage. We didn't know what the hell she was going to do. She gets about 5 feet from the stage and lifts her shirt (no bra). We were all laughing so hard we could hardly play. There isn't enough porn on the internet to get that image out of your head.

    Funny for me because I wasn't playing, but not funny for the band - I was in the audience at a club that I played at in the 70's and the band started their first song; the manger (big and scary) comes up and tells them to turn down, but they don't. Second song; he tells them to turn down again, but they don't. About thirty seconds into the third song he comes up and tells them to stop. They stop and he says, "You're fired, pack up your $#!+ get the F$%^ out of here." I heard the whole thing and ran up and said, Hey Danny, my band isn't booked this week. He said, you're hired, see you tomorrow. We played that place about once a month for the next year. That was when you booked for the week, so that was a great gig.
     
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  19. buster poser

    buster poser Friend of Leo's

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    Long, sorry.

    Dallas, out near Bachman Lake, '86 iirc. Our weekly Steak & Ale gig in Hurst dried up (I think they went bust or got hit by ASCAP/BMI?) and we needed something regular. We were mainstream/light country covers with a few blues-rock numbers. Our lead singer got us an off-hour audition at a place we'd never heard of (The Wooden Nickel, I wanna say? Old Dallasites may know where this is going).

    Our singer was the oldest of us at 20 and busted his tail finding us gigs (his drive would serve him; he moved to Nashville and notched a Grammy in 1995 iirc), but he wasn't very discerning and we played anywhere. There was another 20 y/o on keys and the rest of us (guit, drums, bass) were 16-17. We lied about our age to book a few gigs for places that served booze, never had an issue.

    So we pulled up to this place around 2p on a Saturday, it looks sketchy, but we start loading in after talking to the main guy outside. Burly door guy (at mid day? Spidey sense tingling) was really concerned about my age and the bassist's (we def. looked our age, the drummer was 6'7"), but we lied and said we both left our wallets back in Garland (the odds!); he grouses, but we were allowed to keep setting up. We figure we can make it moot with a great audition.

    There was a proper (and oddly large) stage for us, but our naivete had us puzzled about the smaller stages on either side, each with a single pole on them, purpose built seating facing all three. I could swear one of us said "this sure is a weird lookin' honky tonk, there's not even a dance floor!" Stupid kids.

    Anyway, we found out the by-now-obvious-to-you nature of the business as we get four bars into "Tush" (isweartagod), and a guy cut over the house PA to announce the two dancers who hit those two stages and performed. I will just say they did what I assume was their standard routine and were not conventionally attractive. In the extreme.

    In our group, we all sang at least one number, but somehow Tush was one of three that I sang lead on; I don't know how I finished it, but we all played the rest of the audition looking at our feet, horrified.

    We finished our two or three numbers and never loaded out so fast. I remember maybe incorrectly that they wanted to book us, but that was it for us. We'd have surely been asked for proper ID if we gigged there and it was just a seamy place, so we declined. Our fathers found it hilarious, mine still brings it up every couple years. :)
     
    Last edited: Oct 27, 2021
  20. nojazzhere

    nojazzhere Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

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    That's really heartwarming. ;)
    When I was teaching, people would often tell me what I was doing was very admirable.....but I'd always correct them, and say thanks, but I only have the kids about seven or eight hours a day. (five days a week) Their PARENTS have them nearly all the time, including weekends, holidays and summer vacation. They're the ones who deserve the accolades.
    And that means YOU, El Serio. :)
     
    Last edited: Oct 27, 2021
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