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Hopes and Fears (of all the years)

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by P Thought, May 3, 2021.

  1. P Thought

    P Thought Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

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    Dreamer, drifter, homebody, floater down the River of Life. . .I have always had hopes and dreams; I have pursued them variously. I have few regrets, but. . . .

    Coming out of college, married already and feeling the need for employment, I was sucked into the advertising business. I never felt like I belonged there. Twenty years later, better married (here I should say so is that first wife, I believe) and with four kids to support, I made my way into teaching, which seemed like more of a calling for me. Twenty-four years of that--I enjoyed almost every minute--I retired.

    So here I am, late in my third year of retirement. I still have hopes and dreams, I think. Some of the same ones I've had all along, all living somewhere between the real and the fantastic: writer, musician, scholar, pilot, racecar driver, ballplayer, philosopher, outdoorsman especially on the porch. I have always had the attention span of a hummingbird with rabies. And I have always--don't know why--shunned money.

    I still go with the same basic motivations: I want my wife to be happy, my kids to be self-sustaining and contented. The better I get to know myself (I'm a late-bloomer in that regard), the more I realize how little I've actually done to ensure that happiness and contentment for any of them, and also that any apologies from me would be too little and too late to be of much help.

    But the decrepitude. . .och, tamale. My recent hip replacements helped a lot, but inventories part by part of mind and body don't encourage me much. I know I'm past any time where I am likely to influence anyone or anything, but I still entertain ideas of growth and possibility, and I battle the idea that it's past time for all of that.

    One of the things I like most about this forum is that so many of us are my age and older. I'm just another old fool, or am I? What do all you other retired people do with old hopes and dreams?
     
    Last edited: May 3, 2021
  2. sloppychops

    sloppychops Tele-Holic

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    Time, like an ever-rolling stream,
    Bears all its sons away;
    They fly forgotten, as a dream
    Dies at the opening day.
     
  3. johnnylaw

    johnnylaw Tele-Afflicted

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    I dream about getting to retire.
    If you’re feeling remorseful, think back on all that love, given and received.
     
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  4. catdaddy

    catdaddy Tele-Afflicted

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    I get it, P Thought. Later this month I'm going to turn 70- a number that my brain is having trouble with. As for hopes and dreams, about all I can tell you is that like in my youthful dreams of being a major league baseball player, I step up to the plate each day and whatever pitch life fires at me I take a full cut. Mostly swings and misses at this stage, but I make good contact once every once in a while, and I'm not yet ready to tell the manager to take me out of the game.
     
  5. Greggorios

    Greggorios Friend of Leo's Silver Supporter

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    You likely influence many on a daily basis but don't realize it. You've posted words here that influence each of us in some positive way. Kind of like the "butterfly effect"...you never know how you impact the universe.

    ' A butterfly can flap its wings in Peking, and in Central Park, you get rain instead of sunshine.”
     
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  6. PhoenixBill

    PhoenixBill Tele-Meister

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    A few minutes ago I watched a YouTube video of a song off the Buckingham-Nicks album (before they joined Fleetwood Mac and got mad at each other). While the music was nice, suddenly it reminded me that almost a half-century had passed since my high school days. Where did the last 4 decades go? I was cool and hip and young and…..

    Now I see young girls that once I would’ve lusted after (with at least some chance of success) but now I realize they could be my granddaughter. Not my daughter, my granddaughter….

    I can’t stop the passage of time, much less turn the clock back. All I can do is try to live out my remaining days with as much vigor and ferocity as possible. I don’t want to go gentle into that dark night…
     
  7. trapdoor2

    trapdoor2 Friend of Leo's Gold Supporter

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    I still dream in retirement (in yr 2). They're just not the dreams of youth. If it is in the budget (and it isn't likely to kill me), I just do it. I did not work/earn/save for 50 yrs just to die and pass it to an inheritor. I hope to have as much fun as I can and die with a zero balance (of course, Miz Diane has to be maintained). I have never felt the need to seek a life of altruism, although it happens occasionally.

    I'm lucky to be reasonably healthy (albeit overweight) and take no medications...yet. I gotta get offa my a$$ and get to work on the hobbies. Time's a wastin'!!
     
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  8. getbent

    getbent Telefied Silver Supporter

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    Kansas

    Time moves like a river
    You can either sink or swim
    And a wise man learns to forgive her
    For all she's done to him
    And no one's getting younger
    And a few aren't getting old
    It's all in what you feel
    And not in what you're told

    Oh you can't go back to Kansas
    I was there just yesterday
    Oh you can't go back to Kansas
    It just up and blew away
    Oh, but I will go on loving you
    It's easier that way
    But you can't go back to Kansas
    'Cause that was yesterday

    I see the sun rise and fall
    I can feel the earth beneath my shoes
    There's no need in you believing
    That you were born and cursed to lose
    So why not go on dreaming then
    Yeah, take anyone you choose
    There's nothing to be down about
    'Cause you either win or lose

    Oh, I can't go back to Kansas
    I was there just yesterday
    Oh, I can't go back to Kansas
    It just up and blew away
    So I will go on loving you
    It's easier that way
    But you can't go back to Kansas
    'Cause that was yesterday



    or from the Sad Cafe "I don't know why fortune smiles on some and lets the rest go free."


    I've got a puppy. every night, before he finally settles down, he take a toy in his mouth and puts his front paws on the recliner and we play tug of war for about 15 minutes. When I win, I throw the toy and we go again. When he wins, he snorts and paws me, egging me on to play more.

    His dark eyes dart as we pull and I realize, I don't think he knows, really, how to let go, how to give in. He is locked in and holding on until I pry the toy loose.

    Maybe some of us are like that. We are engaged and staring at the world pulling at our lives and we don't even know how to give up.. until it is pried from us.

    Glad your hips are better. I heard a guy say the other day 'the only way you know you are experiencing life is if you are aching.'
     
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  9. P Thought

    P Thought Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

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    @getbent, if it weren't so rhymed and metered, I'd think that was a Stafford poem. Who is it?
     
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  10. Torren61

    Torren61 Poster Extraordinaire Gold Supporter

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  11. getbent

    getbent Telefied Silver Supporter

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  12. raito

    raito Poster Extraordinaire

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    A man spends his life learning the sword. Then he dies.
     
  13. yegbert

    yegbert Poster Extraordinaire

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  14. Obsessed

    Obsessed Telefied Silver Supporter

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    Every person is writing their own script on life. Live life to the fullest and everyday as if it is your last. To move forward constructively, I think you need hopes and dreams. These hopes and dreams give purpose to what you are doing today. My dad is 91 and 100% mentally and fantastic health for his age. He just had surgery on his eyes recently and does not wear glasses for the first time since he was a young teenager. He wanted to be able to see life better. Writing his own script, he has no plans to slow down.

    So, don't dwell on the past and look forward to living life as you want to ... now. Enjoy.
     
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  15. JL_LI

    JL_LI Friend of Leo's

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    Old hopes and dreams. Great thread topic. Thank you @P Thought .

    I've been blessed and I have no idea why. I did more in my working life than I could ever have imagined when I was in college. I've worked with professional colleagues in their laboratories in 11 countries on four continents. I've also been more successful, both professionally and materially than I ever thought possible.

    I’m retired now, as of Jan. 1. There’s no going back and I’m not even looking back. There’s nothing left for me to do. Hopes and dreams are different. I want to travel again but I’m not sure when that will be safe. My wife and I are fully vaccinated and we’re careful. I trust Marriott to clean a room between guests. I trust American to clean its planes. I don’t trust the people sitting around me. I don’t even trust them in the front of the jet.

    I recall someone starting a conversation at a company meeting about what you hope to find out when you die. There was an expectation of an afterlife in the question. My response drew polite blank stares. I said I don’t expect to know but I hope we’re closer to understanding the force driving the expansion of the universe before I die. My work colleagues were biological scientists and business people. They didn’t care or understand why I would. I’ve refined my question a little. What if? What if our universe is a bubble riding on another bubble where the only physical forces shared between the two are expansion and gravity? Does the warp in space time due to mass pervade all possible universes? Do all possible universes expand or are some cyclic? This is the stuff I lose sleep over. The what ifs.
     
    Last edited: May 4, 2021
  16. nojazzhere

    nojazzhere Doctor of Teleocity

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    I honestly don't remember your scene from Mad Men, but THIS is what I expected when I clicked on play. I recall it actually brought tears to my eyes when I first saw it.
     
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  17. Torren61

    Torren61 Poster Extraordinaire Gold Supporter

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    I had this one, too. I flipped a coin. Stupid coin...
     
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  18. nojazzhere

    nojazzhere Doctor of Teleocity

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    The only problem with the "beer" clip, is I have no context for Don's action.....he hears a short beer pitch, then he gets up and walks out. I don't understand why?......did he just want to go out for a beer? ;)
    With the slide projector, the clip had EVERYTHING.....in a "nutshell", so to speak. ;)
     
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  19. M2roadwarrior

    M2roadwarrior Tele-Meister Silver Supporter

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    Great post friend, you might consider writing professionally, local paper or guitar mag maybe!
    And to answer, I’m retired (disabled) but still have dreams, these will come to fruition in the next year or two! Always thinking positive!
     
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  20. Torren61

    Torren61 Poster Extraordinaire Gold Supporter

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    You won. I owe you a top shelf whisky dram. :D
     
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