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Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by blowtorch, Feb 28, 2020.
I can't face the ban!
boss makes a dollar, i make a dime
that's why i poop on company time.
Some men come to sit and think and write upon the walls.
me? I come to ....
Some come here to sit and think
Others come to .... and stink.
I come here to scratch my .....
And read the writings on the walls.
Someone wrote the " here I sit...., ran all the way from study hall" on a restroom stall wall at my High School. This would have been in the late 50's. The principal actually called a special assembly to try to shame the culprit.
I remember reading on the toilet stall wall of one particurlarly filthy restroom:
I'll sh** in Germany
I'll sh** in France
But before I sh** here
I'll sh** in my pants
He who writes on bathroom walls rolls his sh.t in little balls.
He who reads these words of wit eats those little balls of sh.t.
Before you go to the bathroom, you're American.
Once you're in there, European.
I recall it as “spent my dime” and only ****ed
This made lots of sense back when lots of train stations had pay toilets.
I reckon my version doesn’t make sense any more?
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The was a large central latrine in Cam Ranh Bay which was famous for its bathroom graffiti. There were probably 50 stalls; not one inch of which was not covered with such words of wisdom. Some of the funniest things I have ever read were on those walls. Most of which I cannot ever repeat but laugh to this day thinking of them.
One I remember vividly goes as follows:
As you sat facing the stall door there was a long line going from the right side of the door across to the left side, continuing along the left side about half-way down. It continued along the back wall almost to the bottom and then continued on the right side to the front right. In tiny letters beneath the line was the following. "You are now sh****ng at a 45 degree angle." The line was about 1/2" thick and carved all the way. The letters were also carved and very tiny. Must have taken hours to complete. You could always tell when someone fresh in-country was using that stall from the laughter. I really wish I had taken photos of those stalls it would have been a great coffee table book
Here I sit broken hearted
Came to sh#t but only farted
Yesterday I took a chance
Saved a dime and Sh#t my pants
Everybody's doing it,doing it, doing it,
Picking their nose and chewing it, chewing it, chewing it....
They think it's chocolate coated but it's snot!
I'm guessing this is
Here I sit and Hesitate
Plucking my thoughts while I cogitate
Did I get it?
Now I need to finish writing that limerick about The Young Lady Called Alice ...
I think that one really stinks...
Some come here to sit and think.
Some come here to ****, and stink.
But I come here to scratch my balls, and read the writing on the walls.
In days of olde, when nights were bold, and toilets weren’t invented, we’d drop our load by the side of the road, and be on our way contented.
In days of olde, when knights were bold, and rubbers weren’t invented, we’d wrap a sock around our ****, and babies were prevented.
A Whiff of Kansas
The joke is in your hand, not on the wall.