Having a hard time with this one

Twofingerlou

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Hell of a long day, I just got home a bit ago and need to vent I guess. My grandma turned 87 last month and my last grandparent left.

Until the last few weeks she’s been kicking ass and taking names and has always been sharp as a tack. Recently she had a few falls, called my my mom and uncle in confusion ect. Last week she got a life alert. She fell again last night and hit the life alert, my mom got the call and headed out at 3am. She was dazed and confused when she showed up thinking she was her mom then her sister and the list goes on.

She has been helping her non stop since about 3:45 AM. I ran up as soon as I got off to relieve mom for a bit. One of the guys at work had a wheel chair and dropped it off to them before I got up there. When I asked how much he wanted for it he said if granny needs it granny needs it, we will figure it out later.

The chair was a life saver getting her the the bathroom, my mom is a nurse but her mid 30’s grandson had to assist in the bathroom when she fell again. Thats not my gig but I had to pick her up and get her back in said chair since my mom can’t swing it.

A couple weeks since I’ve seen her last compared to tonight has been a shocker, she’s now on oxygen. She can hardly get up on her own. I had to see things tonight I didn’t wanna see but there was no other option.

I had to step outside and let my emotions get the best of me for a bit, I’m only human I guess. This is hard as #%^* to see her like this. It’s a tough pill to swallow to see a woman that was always my favorite, a iron in the fire, a whiz in the kitchen, the one we always hung out with in the summers and the list is endless.

I hope this is a fluke, I hope my mom is right after telling me they changed some of her meds yesterday.

Not my first rodeo but it’s been a bit and I’ve been a mess since I got home.
 

Vibroluxer

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One thing, and your mom has probably already done this but make sure the floor is clear of rugs, runners and anything else that might trip her up. Shes fallen a lot and thats not good. Hopefully it will resolve with a med change.

Keep fighting the good fight and heres a prayer and some mojo for you and your family.
 

Twofingerlou

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One thing, and your mom has probably already done this but make sure the floor is clear of rugs, runners and anything else that might trip her up. Shes fallen a lot and thats not good. Hopefully it will resolve with a med change.

Keep fighting the good fight and heres a prayer and some mojo for you and your family.

I went through the house and corrected some things my mom missed in the heat of the moment. Thanks bud.
 

Vibroluxer

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We went though it with my Grandparents, its not easy.

My Grandma was suffering from dementia. It was Christmas time and to keep her busy my mom gave her a stack of post it notes and an LL Bean catalog and told her to go through it, pick out presents for everyone and mark the page with a post it. So she did.

A couple of hours later she was done and she and my mom went through it to see what she selected. The very last one was a gift for my Grandpap. He passed away a few yrs before. My mom told her, "Mom, Dad's in heaven now" and without missing a beat, Grandma turned to the very last page of the catalog and pointed to the sentence "We ship anywhere!"

Helps to keep a little sense of humor.

Edited cuz I can't type.
 
Last edited:

perttime

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It is hard. She's had a good long life but she ain't getting any younger. Who knows, she might have another 30 years. But perhaps not.

My father left many years ago, and my mother has been gone for two years. For both, we had a plenty of warning that things were deteriorating gradually. Perhaps I should start making plans for when I'm gone. Sometimes you don't get much warning.
 

GeneB

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My Dad had dementia and Parkinson's Disease and lived alone being divorced a couple times. At age 88 I finally got him an invite to move to the VFW farm-based nursing home near Ocala. (There is understandably a long waiting list). He refuses to leave his condo. I am his only living relative and Tampa is only a short 350 mi round trip to his place near St Augustine. So, for the next year or so I am forced to spend every weekend shopping, cleaning and wiping his ... near the end I got him into a private home based hospice. His final words ... "I wish I had a daughter. They take better care of their fathers than a son". I didn't know if I should laugh, rage or cry. I said nothing.

Be prepared for the abuse. They don't understand why you are abusing them.
 

Recce

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Positive thoughts and prayers for your Grandmother, you and your family. You are going through something that’s very difficult. I have done the same thing and it is very hard on you.
 

Vibroluxer

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As the work load starts to increase make sure those caring for her to take a break and regroup/relax.

Nurses dont use the same diagnostic criteria as doctors. The nurses have one in particular that will affect you and yours and it's called "Caregiver role strain." Any nurses helping you out will know what to do but in essence, it means take a break. The stress and strains you feel wont help anyone. Get counseling if you need to talk to an impartial person.

All the best.
 

Milspec

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Been down that road, I don't have any great wisdom. Just spend time with her and show you care, it will be the one thing you regret if you don't. It might just be something simple (medications, spinal fluid, etc.), but either way, nobody wants to be alone when ill.

Think back to being sick as a child, your mother probably wasn't a doctor, but just having her there bringing you some ginger ale or something meant everything to you. One of the worst nights of my life was when I had scarlet fever (not very common these days) and was all alone in the house. I laid on the couch wide awake with a terrible fever just listening to ticking of the grandfather clock. I was so happy when morning came just to hear people moving around again.

Be that person...you will both be better off for it.
 

Twofingerlou

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Been off here a bit and busy with work and life. Granny is doing better, and been coming back around to her usual self. She’s been able to walk again and it was the medication that they put her on, needless to say they took her off of it.

My uncle is retired and stays with her all week and my mom has been staying with her on the weekend.
 

1955

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That’s so difficult and heartbreaking, hang in there.
 

Tommy Biggs

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Hell of a long day, I just got home a bit ago and need to vent I guess. My grandma turned 87 last month and my last grandparent left.

Until the last few weeks she’s been kicking ass and taking names and has always been sharp as a tack. Recently she had a few falls, called my my mom and uncle in confusion ect. Last week she got a life alert. She fell again last night and hit the life alert, my mom got the call and headed out at 3am. She was dazed and confused when she showed up thinking she was her mom then her sister and the list goes on.

She has been helping her non stop since about 3:45 AM. I ran up as soon as I got off to relieve mom for a bit. One of the guys at work had a wheel chair and dropped it off to them before I got up there. When I asked how much he wanted for it he said if granny needs it granny needs it, we will figure it out later.

The chair was a life saver getting her the the bathroom, my mom is a nurse but her mid 30’s grandson had to assist in the bathroom when she fell again. Thats not my gig but I had to pick her up and get her back in said chair since my mom can’t swing it.

A couple weeks since I’ve seen her last compared to tonight has been a shocker, she’s now on oxygen. She can hardly get up on her own. I had to see things tonight I didn’t wanna see but there was no other option.

I had to step outside and let my emotions get the best of me for a bit, I’m only human I guess. This is hard as #%^* to see her like this. It’s a tough pill to swallow to see a woman that was always my favorite, a iron in the fire, a whiz in the kitchen, the one we always hung out with in the summers and the list is endless.

I hope this is a fluke, I hope my mom is right after telling me they changed some of her meds yesterday.

Not my first rodeo but it’s been a bit and I’ve been a mess since I got home.
Get her tested for a Urinary Tract Infection. UTI.
Sudden onset stuff like that is often related to UTIs. If untreated they'll lead to sepsis, which is often a very bad outcome. The tests often miss that, so if you've got a sympathetic Doc get some antibiotics.
Good luck, stay strong!
 

SRHmusic

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Been off here a bit and busy with work and life. Granny is doing better, and been coming back around to her usual self. She’s been able to walk again and it was the medication that they put her on, needless to say they took her off of it.
Good to hear! I know of a physician in Ohio that did a lot of research on older people and medications. Apparently it's quite common for a change to a different medicine to cause sudden and severe changes. My father went through that and they didn't catch it in time - too late when they figured it out.
 

swarfrat

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Years ago, my grandma fell, and I went to visit her in rehab. She had a roommate who was this crusty and blunt old lady. While there, she had to go to the bathroom.

Behind the closed door we weren't sure what we heard. I didn't think she had fallen but I hesitated a moment to barge in on her. At this point the crusty blunt roommate says (she would have removed a cigarette from her mouth to say it if she had been allowed to smoke), "It's your granny son. GET IN THERE." And that was enough to snap me out of any hesitation delaying help over potential embarrassment.

The chair was a life saver getting her the the bathroom, my mom is a nurse but her mid 30’s grandson had to assist in the bathroom when she fell again. Thats not my gig but I had to pick her up and get her back in said chair since my mom can’t swing it.
 




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