Have to talk with you's about my dog Abbey

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by radiomanjh, May 10, 2015.

  1. radiomanjh

    radiomanjh Tele-Afflicted

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    She is 17 yrs. old and we got her from a rescue center when she was 1 yr. old.
    she has lost her hearing and most of her teeth. She pretty much sleeps all the time and only eats very little anymore. In the last 6 months she has lost some control and I find wet marks on her bed every day. I know she is pretty close to her time on earth. We just hate watching her go downhill but also are not ready to make the decision to put her down. We gave her some antibiotics a couple of months ago because the vet said she had a bladder infection but she is the same after that. Just not prepared yet but If she is in pain......opinions would greatly be appreciated.
     
  2. KevinB

    KevinB Doctor of Teleocity

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    Is she in obvious pain or constant discomfort?

    Does she still wag her tail and come greet you.

    Personally, I'd wait until her condition was pretty obvious. They usually have a way of telling you exactly when it's time.

    God luck and best wishes to you and Abbey.
     
  3. Onebean

    Onebean Tele-Holic

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    First off, the world needs more pet owners like you. I tip my hat to your dedication, and commitment to your pet. You have a tough road ahead of you, and no one can tell you when her time with you is up. It's between you and her. My only words of advice, are don't let her suffer. We made the mistake of prolonging the suffering of our last dog. Out of our own selfishness, we kept him going, knowing he wasn't well, and wasn't going to get better. We just weren't ready to let go. All I can say is give her the respect she deserves. It won't make it any easier, but you will know your doing the right thing. Thank you for being a terrific pet owner.

    Onebean
     
  4. chezdeluxe

    chezdeluxe Poster Extraordinaire

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    Similar symptoms etc and I waited six months too long before I had my 13 year old Golden Retriever put to sleep. He had no idea about death, he just knew he was miserable and I should have realised that a lot earlier.

    Do it now.
     
  5. JackStraw

    JackStraw Friend of Leo's

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    Perfectly said and it sounds like you've made Abbey's life a wonderful one and I'm sure she's done the same for you. Best wishes.
     
  6. R. Stratenstein

    R. Stratenstein Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

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    I know what you're going through. Our dog, Daisy, developed liver cancer and ascities, a distended abdomen from fluid accumulation. Vet said it was uncomfortable for her, but not painful, and we would know when the time came. Woke up one night and she was coughing up blood, and was very distressed. Although terribly upset ourselves, we tried to be comforting to her, the coughing stopped, and she settled down, even went back to sleep, more than we could do, of course, but as the vet said, she had given us clear sign that it was time. Next morning the vet was very kind, they have a special room to say good-bye, and we all held her as our kind vet crawled on the floor so Daisy wouldn't have to go through the trauma of being lifted up on the exam table, to administer the drugs. It was very fast, and very peaceful.

    It is never easy, but thank God you can do something to give her release and peace.
    Enjoy these last few days you have with her, take lots of pictures, let her know she's loved (I know she's gotten plenty of that already, but you can't get too much of that, can you? ) You've given Abbey 17 great years of life, love, and dedication, that's a long time in dog years, and you couldn't have done any better.
     
  7. telleutelleme

    telleutelleme Doctor of Teleocity Silver Supporter

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    Really feel for you on this. The right moment just presents itself. You will know. I've gone through this a number of times and it is so hard. Best to you and your Abbey.
     
  8. jumpnblues

    jumpnblues Friend of Leo's

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    We just went through what you're going through, last November. It was the most difficult decision and the most difficult thing I've had to do. But our little girl Jack Russell Terrier had cancer and was 14 years old so we knew what we had to do. I won't sugar coat it, it really sucked. But it was the right thing to do. I still have occasional difficult moments after 7 months but they are much fewer and farther between. On a more positive note we are very excited to be picking up a new puppy next weekend. Life starts anew and we move on. Only you can make the ultimate decision.

    But if you want my opinion, if she's suffering pain...it's time. If she's not able to get comfortable or not enjoying life at all...it's time. I would recommend, if you can accompany her to the vet, it would be the kindest thing you could do. If you're worried about her suffering during the very brief procedure, don't. She'll just peacefully go to sleep. The one mistake I made was not spending quite enough time with my dog after the procedure saying goodbye. My wife was holding her and I wish I would have had the presence of mind to hold her for a minute or two...just for me. It was just emotionally difficult for me and I wanted it to be over. Our little girl was so sick and we'd had a very difficult previous 48 hours (About 10 of those hours at our College Of Veterinary Medicine getting the unexpected diagnosis) and I wanted her suffering to end. My wife and I were also exhausted from lack of sleep.

    I'm sorry, I don't mean to paint such a morose picture. But the point I'm trying to make is we did the right thing. As painful for us as it was, that will pass. Time is definitely a healer. Be sure you allow yourselves to grieve. For as long as it takes. For us it was every bit as painful as losing a family member. Allow yourself to grieve. There were times I sobbed. Then there were times when I just teared up for a few minutes thinking about her. I occasionally still do. But as much as I teared up writing this I'm truly looking forward to bringing our new little girl home and experiencing the joy of a new puppy. As I said...life goes on. I hope this will be of some help to you. I don't envy you and the decision you have to make. Please feel free to PM me if you feel the need to. We've been there. We'll be thinking of you. God bless you and your family.


    Tom
     
  9. guitarbuilder

    guitarbuilder Telefied Ad Free Member

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    If the wetting is the only problem, you can buy items like a Velcro band that holds a sanitary napkin. We've had some elderly dogs that we've done that with to extend their lives until they were in a position where there wasn't any doubt. When they stop eating or can't stand up...that's the sign we use if they aren't in any pain. It is very painful for the owners to have to decide it is that time.
     
  10. RWRP

    RWRP NEW MEMBER!

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    Check out "Proin"

    Urinary incontinence is common in older female dogs due to hormonal changes. This problem does not often self-correct and can lead to other problems, like UTIs.

    Proin is prescription-only and is a controlled substance in a couple states. If your vet doesn't know what it is, find a vet that does. (This is NOT some herbal supplement / placebo nonsense.) It can be extremely effective in controlling leakage.

    If your dog is in pain, panting is a common symptom. Watch for that. Watch for white gums, too, which can indicate impaired circulation. If she's not in discomfort, try and relax a little.

    Best wishes to you and Abby. Eventually, as the human you are going to be emotionally screwed in this deal: end her life compassionately and feel that guilt, or wait too long and feel guilty for that. When the time comes you can bestow on your friend that final act of kindness which she cannot do for herself.

    Thanks for adopting a shelter pet. And nice job keeping her alive for this long, you've already gone above and beyond IMO.
     
  11. Mike Eskimo

    Mike Eskimo Telefied Ad Free Member

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    17 years - you've done your job.

    It can't be easy now but I wish you strength.
     
  12. Tony Done

    Tony Done Friend of Leo's

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    In the end, it was the vet, a friend of mine, who persuaded me that my old dog had had enough. Maybe you could ask your vet.
     
  13. O- Fender

    O- Fender Tele-Afflicted

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    My wife and I went through this only a month ago. It's tough because you don't want to deprive her of one more good day and you don't want things to go too long. If there was pain, the decision would be much easier. Part of you wishes she would just go to sleep at night and not wake in the morning. This rarely happens.

    What we did was keep track of her good days and bad days. When there was many more bad days with no good days, it would be time. We also agreed when she couldn't get up by herself anymore, that would be the time. Of course, it was difficult because a few of times I would brace myself to say "it's time" to my wife, I would come home and the dog would greet me at the door.

    Soon, her bad days were getting worse and there was no good days.


    One suggestion is visit your vet ahead of time. Some try to schedule their euthanizations for times or certain days when there are fewer people around. Some have a special side door for privacy. Some have special comfortable rooms where you can say your last goodbye. Some will offer brochures with various plans for things like cremation urns, etc.

    Just keep in mind, it's a difficult decision to decide when it's time. Don't second guess yourself. I feel for you.
     
  14. Count

    Count Friend of Leo's

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    Oestrogen pills can control incontinence sometimes. Your decesion though needs to be based on her quality of life, if she is in pain and dicomfort or if she is not. Sometimes an old dog will just pass away queitly in her sleep and have no pain or distress up to then. Other times if they are in pain or distressed it is kinder to get the Vet to help them pass away. Either way it is hard on you but it is your dogs best interests that should come first. I have had to make that decision several times and it is never easy but the dogs welfare always had to come first never my feelings. Hope that helps.
     
  15. radiomanjh

    radiomanjh Tele-Afflicted

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    thank you all for your kind words. It is very comforting to hear your own experiences and ideas to help us through this for when we have to come to a decision.
     
  16. Boubou

    Boubou Doctor of Teleocity Gold Supporter

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    It's about your best buddy's quality of life, not you. And it's hard to see the difference sometimes.
    Been there 7 times so far and I see one in the near future.
    Good luck and I feel for you
     
  17. dan1952

    dan1952 Friend of Leo's

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    God bless you and your pup. Too painful for non-pet owners to comprehend.
     
  18. Carlsson

    Carlsson Tele-Holic

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    I feel for you. I've lost several cats, one dog and one horse. It's rough.

    The way I see it with dogs, it's a life long (their life) relationship of give and take. You make sure to provide for them, and they reward you with unconditional love. Your dog would protect you with its own life without a seconds hesitation.

    Unfortunately, the final gift is many times the hardest one, but I've made a promise that no pet of mine is going to suffer as long as I can help it.

    I hate losing my four legged family members so much I'm seriously considering not having any more, but then again, I've gotten so much joy from them. I'm sure you have too.

    Like others have said, you'll know when it's time to make that decision, and when you do,try to take comfort in the fact that you're doing the right thing, for her.
     
  19. ASC67

    ASC67 Friend of Leo's

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    It was one of the toughest decisions I've ever made and you will know when it's time.
     
  20. Faraldi

    Faraldi Tele-Afflicted

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    We had to make a decision about our greyhound, Bobo. Got him as a rescue when his racing career was over and he had the scars to prove it. 149 races. He was apparently a great racer but when he was done, so were his handlers.

    Thankfully we got him through a program when we lived in Kansas. Brought him home and he was the sweetest, most gentle dog ever.

    At 12, he started to fail. Could barely get up, lots of pain. Started to get confused a lot and would space out. Teeth were rotted (they file down their teeth so they don't harm each other). Got to the point where he was in pain all the time and he let us know it. This big, strapping 75lb greyhound was suffering.

    We made the decision as his family to give him peace. He passed in my arms and I've never cried so bitterly. He was my buddy. It was a very hard couple of weeks but we were reassured that it was the right thing to do for HIM.

    Never easy but they do rely on us.
     
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