Has anyone let a band member go for personal habits/bad decisions that are outside of the band?

[Les H]

Just wondering if anyone has let a member go whose personal habit/s outside the band were perhaps becoming too hard to ignore? Despite coming to rehearsals and gigs prepared, on point and ready to play?

I have generally never cared what a member does in their personal time as long as they show up ready and able to play and aren't wasting anyone elses time or impairing the music. But let's say there becomes a time when a member's reputation outside the band "starts to precede him" and you start to have problems getting gigs and the other members of the band unfairly start to become just as "guilty by association" through the rumor mill.

Do you let that person go even though they are a very talented, reliable member always ready to play?

 

[Red Ryder]

It doesn't matter what the job is. Sooner or latter their bad habits and their behavior will cause a problem. Better to send them packing before it becomes a problem for everyone.

 

[Twang-ineer]

Anything that prevents getting paid is worth dismissal at pretty much any job.

 

[String Tree]

Just wondering if anyone has let a member go whose personal habit/s outside the band were perhaps becoming too hard to ignore? Despite coming to rehearsals and gigs prepared, on point and ready to play?

I have generally never cared what a member does in their personal time as long as they show up ready and able to play and aren't wasting anyone elses time or impairing the music. But let's say there becomes a time when a member's reputation outside the band "starts to precede him" and you start to have problems getting gigs and the other members of the band unfairly start to become just as "guilty by association" through the rumor mill.

Do you let that person go even though they are a very talented, reliable member always ready to play?

Yes.
When what they do outside of the Band puts us in a Bind, time to give them the Pink-Slip.

Seriously, one guy liked them way too young.
He was eventually arrested.

I am happy to say it hasn't happened very often but, when it does, You have to be Strong.
~ST

 

[teletimetx]

Have you talked to the band member with a bad reputation about what is happening, concerning the loss of gigs?

Is there a chance he might clean up his act if he knew he will be let go? Or are the behaviors involved chronic and unlikely to be fixed?

There’s plenty of missing details here - not that they need to discussed here.

Unless there’s some real reason to think the problem behavior can be quickly remedied, need to cut your losses.

But first, make sure you meet whatever communication process your band uses. And if you think the problem child can grow up, then talk to him, too. I’m only suggesting this on what you say.

I was in a band where the bass player was arrested by plain clothes cops while we were on break. Walked to the car with cuffs. No green card (he was a Brit), but also he had skipped out of parole from England.

Last I heard, he was still in prison in England. Is that the kind of stuff you want to deal with?

 

[Les H]

Have you talked to the band member with a bad reputation about what is happening, concerning the loss of gigs?

Is there a chance he might clean up his act if he knew he will be let go? Or are the behaviors involved chronic and unlikely to be fixed?

I wish it was something as simple as drugs or alcohol. That talk would be very easy to have compared to what he is involved with.

Unfortunately, for him to clean up his act would most likely require a divorce or at least some counseling at a minimum and that's just an untouchable topic from an outsider in my opinion. Then on the other hand how do you tell someone they are being let go because their marital relationship that's completely separate and outside of the band is causing problems for the band?

 

[teletail]

I wish it was something as simple as drugs or alcohol. That talk would be very easy to have compared to what he is involved with.

Unfortunately, for him to clean up his act would most likely require a divorce or at least some counseling at a minimum and that's just an untouchable topic from an outsider in my opinion. Then on the other hand how do you tell someone they are being let go because their marital relationship that's completely separate and outside of the band is causing problems for the band?

It’s easy, you just tell the truth. I don’t know why people have such consternation over talking with someone. “We love you John, but your personal drama is adversely affecting the band. [Site several examples]. I’m afraid we’re going to have to replace you. We wish you the best of luck.” Just approach it like two grownups having a conversation.

 

[arlum]

I guess it would depend on what all the fuss is about. A lot of things can put a person on the "outs" of general society. It would take something pretty severe for me to give up on an excellent musician who always attends rehearsals, shows up for all the gigs and contributes to the overall make up of the band. It would take something like armed criminal actions, assault, raping and pillaging, etc. before I'd ditch someone.

 

[Telecastoff1]

We're all in a "fish bowl" these days, like it or not....and out conduct and personal lives can and sometimes do spill over to band and other professional matters.

 

[Gene O.]

I've been involved with some very talented musicians with some personal lives/habits/traits that were just too difficult to deal with. Usually things never got too far along before the bud was nipped. But one summer day in 1976 we unloaded the keyboard players equipment (B3, Leslie, other keyboards, amp, etc) from the band truck, put it in his van, and left him in the parking lot of a crappy motel in Michigan.

 

[srblue5]

It doesn't matter what the job is. Sooner or latter their bad habits and their behavior will cause a problem. Better to send them packing before it becomes a problem for everyone.

We're all in a "fish bowl" these days, like it or not....and out conduct and personal lives can and sometimes do spill over to band and other professional matters.

+1.

I have a part-time bandmate currently whose personal choices are rather dodgy and his lifestyle is chaotic. He seems to not mind it and it wouldn't bother me since we're not really friends outside of the band (or inside, most of the time, to be honest), but it has led to him missing rehearsals frequently and jeopardizing our gigs several times (due to his nearly missing them, getting too drunk, not being focused enough, etc.). If it were up to me, I'd have let him go long ago but he's the bandleader's BFF and he keeps bailing him out and enabling his behaviours. I've just accepted the situation and chosen to stay with the band for now because it's still a gig.

 

[dogmeat]

ha ha.... yeah... take a number and get in line

 

[Masmus]

I guess it would depend on what all the fuss is about. A lot of things can put a person on the "outs" of general society. It would take something pretty severe for me to give up on an excellent musician who always attends rehearsals, shows up for all the gigs and contributes to the overall make up of the band. It would take something like armed criminal actions, assault, raping and pillaging, etc. before I'd ditch someone.

Let our drummer go after he landed in jail for assaulting his girlfriend. Just don't need that around us and yes you're not only responsible for your actions but they have consequences too.

 

[loudboy]

Where do I start... <g>

 

[Red Ryder]

There is such a thing as guilty by association. There's no reason to be standing behind bars because of someone else's behavior.

 

[Trenchant63]

Our bass player worked in the mob in the protection insurance department but always came to rehearsal prepared and gig ready. I had to finally let him go saying .. “It doesn’t make any difference to me how a man makes a living, you understand, but your business is …. a little dangerous..” He now gets 35% cut of each band members’ earnings (not just gigs) as his negotiated severance package and him providing a protection policy preventing things like stolen gear, bricks through our house windows, being assaulted at the gig, and exploding vehicles. The rest of the guys aren’t really happy with the arrangement and it’s really put a bit of a damper on our band friendships as well as some tension on the home front.

 

[naveed211]

Actually, gonna keep any comments to myself on that one.

 

[Cpb2020]

Not a band member, but an employee who was charged with groping and exposing himself in public.

 

[Downsman]

Let's imagine you're talking about domestic abuse. And that he knows, and other people know, you know what he did. Whether it's fair or not, keeping him in the band means the rest of you are announcing "we're okay with domestic abuse". It makes it less likely he'll seek help because of that implied support you're giving him, "it's not that big a deal". Which means he's less likely to stop doing it.

There's a campaign going here in the UK called "Call Him Out". Again, it might feel unfair, but silence in the face of not okay behaviour actually adds to the problem. It includes advice on how to bring things up in ways that don't escalate the situation.

If that's the kind of serious issue you're talking about, then letting him go, and explaining why, feels like the right choice.

 

[Flat6Driver]

I played with a guy that was a horrible drunk. It never affected the band really. He showed up prepared and never drank at the gigs. I guess he just did it at home. I passed his house one morning on recycling day. All the glass bottles were in with the normal trash. We fired him that afternoon.