Hand-me-down aphorisms

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by LGOberean, Feb 28, 2020.

  1. elihu

    elihu Poster Extraordinaire

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    "Off like a dirty shirt"

    and it's

    "finer than frog hair split four ways..."

    (gotta get all those f's in there).
     
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  2. LGOberean

    LGOberean Doctor of Teleocity

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  3. nojazzhere

    nojazzhere Doctor of Teleocity

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    I've mentioned before, my Dad occasionally mangled old sayings. I wish I could remember them better, and I never found out if he was just being a smart aleck, or if he just didn't know better. He was very intelligent, and even taught us kids things like the Two Dead Boys......you know?
    One bright morning in the middle of the night,
    Two dead boys got up to fight.
    Back to back they faced each other,
    Drew their swords and shot each other.
    A deaf policeman heard the noise,
    And came and killed the two dead boys.
    I've seen variations of this, but this is the version I was taught, and still remember.
    The only "cliche" I can recall him saying is something like, "It's better to kill two birds in one bush".....or something like that. ;)
     
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  4. LGOberean

    LGOberean Doctor of Teleocity

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    Then shouldn't it be "Finer than frog fur split four ways"? :twisted:
     
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  5. telleutelleme

    telleutelleme Doctor of Teleocity Silver Supporter

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    All hat no boots
    Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear, or a fool from any direction.
     
  6. elihu

    elihu Poster Extraordinaire

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    I've always heard it as "all hat, no cattle"...as in all appearance, no substance.
     
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  7. LGOberean

    LGOberean Doctor of Teleocity

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    I've heard it as "All hat, no cattle" as well, makes more sense to me.

    Sage wisdom there. May have to steal that one. :twisted:
     
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  8. Dan German

    Dan German Poster Extraordinaire Silver Supporter

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    The difference being that Yogi knew what he was saying. Not that my grandfather wasn’t a smart man, he was just the ultimate straight man. Made a weird combo with my grandmother, from whom I learned to be a joker and a smart *ss.

    (Also Grandma: “I’ll pull off your arm and beat you with the bloody end of it!” But she said it with love...)
     
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  9. memorex

    memorex Friend of Leo's

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    "You don't know sh** from Shinola."
     
  10. Warren01

    Warren01 TDPRI Member

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    "If you touch a manure pile, it starts to smell"
     
  11. Harry Styron

    Harry Styron Tele-Afflicted Silver Supporter

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    A few that I created; you're free to use them:

    A rolling stone becomes well-rounded.

    Never change a diaper while wearing a necktie.

    I've never met someone that I couldn't make more miserable.

    You always look your best when you're leaving me at home.
     
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  12. Pualee

    Pualee Tele-Holic

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    This is just between you, me, and the fence post.
     
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  13. Greggorios

    Greggorios Friend of Leo's Silver Supporter

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    "She's such a hot dog she uses mustard for make-up."
     
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  14. Big_Ger

    Big_Ger TDPRI Member

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    “They fell out of the Ugly Tree and hit every branch on the way down”
    “They’ve got one of those faces that you’d never get sick of kicking”
     
  15. electrichead

    electrichead Tele-Meister

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    My best friends grandmother used to always yell at us kids.."if you do not stop it I am going to give you what patty gave the drum"..
    We used to laugh..
     
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  16. Big_Ger

    Big_Ger TDPRI Member

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    Upon using a blunt knife, my Grandma used to say:
    “You could ride bare-@rsed to to York on this...”
     
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  17. Greggorios

    Greggorios Friend of Leo's Silver Supporter

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    True dialogue from 1973:

    Grand Dad: Where the hell were ya until 2am?
    Me: Oh gramps, I was just out with the guys, you know, just sowing my wild oats.
    Grand Dad: Don't tell me about wild oats son, I know all about 'em, their the kind where you wake up the next morning hoping the crop fails.
     
  18. jackal

    jackal Friend of Leo's Gold Supporter

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    "People are crazier than anybody"
     
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  19. Whatizitman

    Whatizitman Friend of Leo's

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    I'm always fond of saying, "Not my circus. Not my monkeys." It's particularly relevant where I work.
     
  20. trapdoor2

    trapdoor2 Tele-Afflicted Gold Supporter

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    My airframe instructor had many...mostly unprintable. He would kid me about my welding: "Marc, that rosette weld looks like a bull's a$$ sewed up with grapevine." And then mark it A+...

    Miz Diane's mother was full of crazy sayings and rhymes from her childhood in 1940s Gloucester, MA. She'd trot them out anywhere to get some attention...and try to embarrass Miz Diane. Her favorite for a too-quiet restaurant: "Art, Art, let a fart, right behind the chicken cart!"

    Of course, in her accent, there were no r's (unless the word started with an r).
     
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