Hand-me-down aphorisms

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by LGOberean, Feb 28, 2020.

  1. LGOberean

    LGOberean Doctor of Teleocity

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    I just quoted my Granddad earlier this morning in another thread, and that gave me the idea for this thread. I know it’s been done before, but I enjoy these types of threads. As we pass on these peals of wisdom our forefathers taught us, we reveal something about ourselves, and hopefully entertain at the same time.

    And I’ll start off with the quote that triggered the idea for this thread. In another thread, I ‘fessed up to my tendency to deliberate a long time before taking action. My Granddad, a Texas farmer, had a saying for this:

    “Boy, I have to sight you alongside a fence post to see if you’re even movin’!” :oops::lol:

    Okay, that’s mine…now, what’cha got, TDPRI? Quote your grandfather…or grandmother, parents, crazy uncles, what have you. Share those ancestral aphorisms, axioms, maxims, witticisms, pearls of wisdom.
     
  2. Whatizitman

    Whatizitman Friend of Leo's

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    MY mom, RIP: Son, he/she's laughing/crying all the way to the bank.

    Actually, my in-laws were from the south, so they had tons of phrases I had never heard. Just stuff that would roll out of their mouths without second thought, but would always catch me off guard.

    I mean, just how many liver pills does Carter's have? :confused:
     
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  3. Obsessed

    Obsessed Telefied Ad Free Member

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    "Gravity is your friend or your enemy."
     
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  4. Stringbanger

    Stringbanger Telefied Ad Free Member

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    My Grandmother had a trivet that hung on a wall in her kitchen, and it was very similar to this one:

    0E3D23A0-0DC9-40E7-B16B-69E527AA318D.jpeg
    “We get too soon oldt, undt too late schmart”.
     
  5. Dreadnut

    Dreadnut Tele-Holic

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    My Dad: "If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs, if we had some eggs."

    "He should get 90 days in the electric chair!"
     
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  6. Wallo Tweed

    Wallo Tweed Friend of Leo's

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    Makin fun of granddad?
    You daresn't do that!
     
  7. tery

    tery Poster Extraordinaire

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    My grandfather sold a blind horse and told buyer that he was selling the horse because "he don't look so good" .
     
  8. glenlivet

    glenlivet Tele-Meister

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    "slippery'n snot on a doorknob"
    "finer n' Frog hair"
    "Hotter than a two dollar pistol"
    "Heavier that a dead priest"
     
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  9. ArcticWhite

    ArcticWhite Tele-Holic

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    That boy don't know beans when the bag's open.
     
  10. ping-ping-clicka

    ping-ping-clicka Tele-Afflicted Ad Free Member

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    forewarned is fair play.
     
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  11. LGOberean

    LGOberean Doctor of Teleocity

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    The only one of those sayings that I hadn't heard and used is the one about the priest. But then, I'm not Catholic, so I probably had less opportunity to hear that one.
     
  12. Dan German

    Dan German Poster Extraordinaire Silver Supporter

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    My grandmother if she heard you talking to yourself: “Do you have money in the bank?” The idea being that if you have money in the bank, talking to yourself is eccentric. If you don’t, it’s crazy.

    As for my grandfather, he once said (with no trace of irony) “anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined.”
     
  13. telleutelleme

    telleutelleme Doctor of Teleocity Silver Supporter

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    My brother would say "That's going to taste like sour Owl poop". Only he didn't say poop. It was a clear indicator whatever it was it shouldn't be tried.


    "Uglier than an armload of A$$-H&^*s" was used by my brother to describe people, places or things.

    Being 8 years older and not having a father put him into my adult figurehead category.
     
    Last edited: Feb 28, 2020
  14. suave eddie

    suave eddie Tele-Afflicted

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    Locks are for honest people.
     
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  15. glenlivet

    glenlivet Tele-Meister

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    "horny'r than a two peckered goat"
    "Busier than a one legged man in a butt kicking contest"
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  16. Pasta Player

    Pasta Player Tele-Meister Ad Free Member

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    "Your tail lights are always brighter than your headlights."

    "Not my pig, not my farm."
     
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  17. skitched

    skitched Tele-Meister

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    "you'll always be a loser".
     
  18. JayFreddy

    JayFreddy Poster Extraordinaire

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    "There will never be peace until the last lawyer is strung up by the neck with the guts... Of the last priest."

    I think it was something offensive my grandfather heard somewhere... He would repeat it for shock value.

    He didn't actually mind lawyers or priests... Lol
     
  19. LGOberean

    LGOberean Doctor of Teleocity

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    I didn't know your grandfather was Yogi Berra! :eek::twisted:
     
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  20. Recce

    Recce Friend of Leo's Silver Supporter

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    Not my rodeo.
     
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