Guitar Snob? Nah, never heard that before!

[loopfinding]

it's not that i'm snobby, it's just that if our musical interests don't line up i don't really like jamming. if you're some classic rock or blues guy, neither of us are going to get anything from playing with each other.

most people that i jam with, we're already aware of what each other does (seen each other play shows or heard each other's recordings), so it's not really difficult to set something up and play together.

so if i can't really suss out what someone's into or plays, or i'm just outright not into it, i kind of have to do that "yeah yeah man" until they forget about it, cause i don't want to outright insult. even telling someone "it's not really my kind of thing" can really upset someone, so i try to let them down gently. just because i don't want to jam with you doesn't mean i don't want to be on friendly terms otherwise.

 

[Old Deaf Roadie]

Hmm... I, too, am guilty if being polite to a stranger, then never calling him. If he were serious, he would have called by now. He may well think that because of the age difference that you may not have enough in common musically. I wouldn't take it personally.

 

[Jim622]

You mean, DO NOT bring a guitar over and say hey lets play a few tunes?
Because a musician must never experience any uncomfortable feelings?
Hmmm.
Thats a big ask, but hey, you can always ask!

His house. Take the guitar out the equation. A neighbor keeps stopping by your house when you want alone time......?

 

[telemnemonics]

His house. Take the guitar out the equation. A neighbor keeps stopping by your house when you want alone time......?

Yeah I can be a real troll about people who sort of invade my space by knocking on my bridge, sorry, door.

My sense of the specific situation, where both neighbors play out on the porch so the world can hear, and so far there is no clear disdain for the other, I just do not know whats up.

One possible scenario is the loner guy dislikes things he has tried, including chatting with his friendly neighbor and playing music with other people.

The other possibility is that the guy is just shy or embarrassed, and has never played with others, so he is afraid to make a plan, but he might accept one day if playing on his porch and presented with a lets try this now situation.
If he is the former, dislikes neighbor and ensemble playing, he can say no or even not answer the door.
But for alla the guys & gals too shy to schedule a jam, which may bring feelings of inadequacy, I think they benefit from a bit of pushing within reason.

For many years I accosted any and all interesting smart counterculture but not PIB looking strangers carrying an instrument case in public.
Some were indeed shy or unfriendly at first, and some I asked more than once became rude over time, so I stopped asking.
But the end result was in Boston and NYC I had so many playing partners they might randomly drop in at 3:am if the lights were on, and two who never met might drop in at the same time!
Because I do not play classic rock, it can be hard to find compatible musicians to jam or form bands with.
That is my background on this.

I also recall finding one guy in particular annoying, when he did the same to me while I was trying some instrument out at a pawn shop.
But we became friends and eventually formed a band together.

Maybe now that we have youtube lessons and loopers, a new breed of guitar player exists that really wants to never play other than with themselves?
I doubt they know what they are missing!

 

[telemnemonics]

it's not that i'm snobby, it's just that if our musical interests don't line up i don't really like jamming. if you're some classic rock or blues guy, neither of us are going to get anything from playing with each other.

most people that i jam with, we're already aware of what each other does (seen each other play shows or heard each other's recordings), so it's not really difficult to set something up and play together.

so if i can't really suss out what someone's into or plays, or i'm just outright not into it, i kind of have to do that "yeah yeah man" until they forget about it, cause i don't want to outright insult. even telling someone "it's not really my kind of thing" can really upset someone, so i try to let them down gently. just because i don't want to jam with you doesn't mean i don't want to be on friendly terms otherwise.

It is indeed painful to try to "jam" with an eager associate whose music is galaxies away from our own.
Early on there was no my music and your music.
Over time I "became", and then there was a mine and yours.

 

[sax4blues]

I have two neighborhood friends who play music.

One we walk our dogs together, have gone out to see music a few times. She is a coffee shop guitar/singer and he plays for fun. We(including her initiating) have said at different times "we should jam in the backyard". Four years later we've never played, but we're going to the dog park today.

The other is a career working musician, I've gone to a couple of his gigs. He always says, "I need to have you over to my home studio". He lives three doors down. Four years later I've never been over.

 

[bottlenecker]

"Snobbery" would be the friend who has over $100,000 in vintage guitars, primarily old Martins, and insists on stopping by the house and showing me his lattest pre-war dreadnought whenever the mood hit him.

Huh. I always thought I didn't like snobbery but that sounds ok with me. Now if they didn't stop by...

 

[telemnemonics]

Hmm... I, too, am guilty if being polite to a stranger, then never calling him. If he were serious, he would have called by now. He may well think that because of the age difference that you may not have enough in common musically. I wouldn't take it personally.

Funny and true about age, sometimes.
Circa 1986 I got a new roommate who was a drummer, I think going to Berklee but for sure a schooled skilled drummer, plus he looked exactly like his idol Dave Weckyl or Weckl or whatever.
He had a pal he knew from high school who would come over and want to "jam", but the kid just kept playing parts of intro riffs or solos from like VH and Knight Ranger, just no whole songs or really much of anything musical.

Then same place I had a knock at the door and it was a young mannish boy from Jersey with a classic mullet like you see in comedies about guys from Jersey with mullets.
Nice enough, sort of like a puppy, very nice and eager but not musically kin.

Had a bass player malcontent punk who came from money (his old man held patents on arterial stents IIRC) and he had a bottle of very pure LSD in the freezer.
One night we all had a drop including mullet boy.
A few hours in I put on my copy of Pharoah Sanders The Creator hs a Master Plan.
Blew mullet boys mind, I mean REALLY blew his mind.
From then on his music tastes were no longer Jersey mullet oriented.

 

[TokyoPortrait]

Hi.

So, I’ve read the whole thread to this point, and even have three snippets saved as ‘quotes,’ but now, here at the end, I think my opinion is…

I have no idea what’s going on.

Don’t know enough about the situation or the individuals involved. So, can’t say. Could be anything.

Pax/
Dean

 

[TokyoPortrait]

Hi again.

Regarding the ‘turn up at his house with a guitar’ idea, it’s reminded me of a conversation I once had. Which I shall endeavour to present in rule abiding form.

Once, when talking with someone who I shared a brief interest in art with, the subject came up of what to do when two parties both have etchings in their lofts. She told me that, for that important initial, introductory viewing, she would always insist on going to the other party’s loft to look at their etchings, as it gave her the option to leave if she didn’t warm to their artistic tastes.

So, to extend the analogy, I’d suggest not turning up on someone’s porch, axe in hand (sorry, had to switch metaphors), cos it doesn’t give them the option to leave should they not like your, um, swing.

If this particular porch guitar situation were one I wished to pursue, I might stroll over to their porch, but only to invite them up to my loft, for a coffee. And of course, mention that if they wished, they also might like to view my axe collection…

Pax/
Dean

 

[Gaylord Amsterdam]

I’ll try to make this short.

I live in a small rural town and the population is about 3,000 give or take. Jamming with other locals is slim for sure.

A guy moved in this spring, two doors down from me. One night I heard him picking on an acoustic, so I walked over and introduced myself, and I told him that I played guitar too.

He said that he would be interested in jamming, and he gave me his name and number. I texted him about a week or so later so that he would have my number.

A couple of months passed, then I heard him playing on the back porch again, so I walk over and remind him, that I would like to get together. He still seemed interested.

I know he has heard me playing guitar on my back porch, and I think I have a good sound with my chords and singing. (I’ve been at this guitar thing since 1978).

So I am wondering, is this guy intimidated by my playing, or is he antisocial?

Mrs. Stringbanger heard that he is a druggie, so whatever.

Edit: I would say that he’s about 40ish and I’m 67.

He may just have a lot on his plate right now and even though he would like to jam emotionally he might just not be up for it but, music is probably his therapy and that's why you hear him playing. Just give it time, be his friend first and jam second.

 

[Stringbanger]

Sorry, I don’t respond To aggressive, obnoxious, rapid fire questions. I don’t OWE you any explanations. If you want a civil dialogue, then be civil.

Then why did you respond?

If you’re from West Virginny, then we are practically neighbors. Depending on where you are, I could meet you halfway for a jam and a beer. Maybe Altoona or Johnstown? It would have to be acoustic though, because I don’t travel with electrics since the band days.

PS: I’m not a beginner.

 

[telemnemonics]

Anyone remember the days when we could stick out our thumb and get into a strangers car?
Some trips strangers fixed me dinner or I did the same for them.
Walked out to the road in winter and was at the mercy of strangers on long empty roads in Northern Maine.
Often a 200 mile winter road trip with just guitar and knapsack.
Or in the summer deserts of the SW US.
People treated people pretty well if given some basic respect and courtsey.

Sure is different now.

 

[DugT]

This thread reminds me of this song.

 

[Fiesta Red]

That’s the stance that I have taken. I’m not gonna pressure anybody to jam with me! That’s just not right!

I heard him playing on his front porch just before the weather turned cold, so let’s say the end of September around here.

His guitar sounded way out of tune, and his singing reflected the same. Perhaps he was tuned into another plane that I’m not aware of.

He was tuning his guitar to an Open G Demolished chord.

He's probably a little odd like I am. I like playing, singing, recording, performing, praticing, even being in a band. But, I hate jamming. If he is like me, he is being polite.

I used to love to jam—especially when I was new and not that great of a player…rock, Country, Metal, blues, jazz, pop—if you were playing it, I wanted to play it with you.

Nowadays, I’m old (and still not that great of a player), but I don’t really like to “jam” unless we’re on the same plane…I don’t mean playing the same genre or being as good as me—I don’t care about that—but do we “click” on some level?

Jammed with a dude who oversang and had a terrible tone (weird rig)…he was not willing to bend and play anything he hadn't heard before (c’mon, dude, it’s a I IV V rhythm in G—we don’t need to write up a chart!), and was not willing to give me a moment to catch up when playing a song I’d never heard or played before…It ticked me off that I wasted one of my rare free evenings.

Jammed with another kid who was all Hard Rock—not my style—but we had a blast because we clicked, personality-wise as well as musically, because we were willing to learn from and teach one another. I turned him on to some bands from before his time and he turned me on to some newer rock bands I probably wouldn’t have discovered on my own.

There’s another dude who’s been after me for us to “get together”, but I’d be sitting in with his HIGHLY structured group, all of whom have been playing together for over a decade, and expect every song to sound like the original recording. (I don’t/can’t/won’t do that). I’ve been politely pushing him off, but he harasses me whenever we run into each other.

So I can’t say I won’t jam, but I’m dang picky about who it is I’ll do it with.