Genetically Modified Instruments

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by guitarsophist, Sep 14, 2021.

  1. guitarsophist

    guitarsophist Tele-Holic Silver Supporter

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    After I bought a CV Squire Starcaster, my friend was inspired to buy a Squire Paranormal Toronado. Now the Starcaster is like what might happen if a Tele Deluxe mated with an ES 335, except it has the offset mutation and the wide range humbucker gene. The Toronado is like a Jaguar mated with a Les Paul. I guess in this pairing, the offset gene is dominant. These guitars appear to be GMIs, or "Genetically Modified Instruments." Being from California, where even the supermarkets post legally mandated signs about all of the hazardous materials one might encounter inside, I wonder if these guitars should have hazardous labels affixed to them at the point of sale. Are GMIs hazardous to our health and sanity? Will notes played on these guitars cause brain damage? Could a diminished chord open a wormhole vortex or cause time to run backwards? Will the mixed heritages of these guitars cause brand loyalty confusion leading to the erosion of late capitalism and a return to medieval feudalism? Do we need government regulations controlling the production of GMI guitars?

    I have been playing my Starcaster for a couple of weeks and I haven't noticed anything but fun, but the world does seem to be in a sorry state. Is this why?
     
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  2. ReverendRevolver

    ReverendRevolver Friend of Leo's

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    I doubt that's why;

    I've said since I got my toronado 17+ years ago that it was the offspring of a jaguar and a LP. In fact, I put Gibson pickups in it, so the DNA is legit.

    Things haven't been terrible for 17+ years, so it cant be these wonderful mutant bred guitars at fault.

    The problem is that the world isn't playing guitar nearly enough, so everything is more bleak as a result.
     
  3. Obsessed

    Obsessed Telefied Silver Supporter

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    We don’t eat guitars, we play them. Big difference, but I believe we do influence the world with our music.

    Okay, the pointy guitars are from the devil, but that is a subject we can’t get into here.:D
     
  4. RhinestoneStrat

    RhinestoneStrat Tele-Meister

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    Looks saintly to me.:)

    [​IMG]
     
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  5. mexicanyella

    mexicanyella Friend of Leo's

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    5D51E9FB-1640-45F4-899D-E635BEF8BA98.jpeg To me this looks like what might have happened if John Kricfalusi (Ren & Stimpy guy) had been hired to design a Gibson Explorer bass, and it escaped and mated with a Dean before hiding in the background of a Roadrunner cartoon.

    Because I am a fountain of empathy, I had to buy it when it came up on CL and try to help it free itself from the humorless, dour metal destiny others were trying to force on it.
     
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  6. tubedude

    tubedude Tele-Meister

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    Like everything else in the state of California the state has determined these guitars cause cancer.
     
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  7. Skyhook

    Skyhook Tele-Meister

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    ... and birth defects! Don't forget those!
    I have that warning PRINTED ON THE PHUGGIN LABEL of my Tube Screamer!!! :mad:

    The Tube Screamer is made in Japan and sold worldwide. How in the name of heckydeck can ONE state(not even the USA, mind you, but ONE STATE) command this level of insanity that their state exclusive warning gets (hard)printed on a pedal label of an Asian company that sells its products worldwide?! They couldn't slap a sticker on the boxes before retailing them in California which would have been the sane thing to do... oh no no.

    Let's see how happy we'll be when Fender starts making the P65 warning part of the headstock decal.

    How could one fight this... I dunno... passing a law that says stores are prohibited from selling harmful stuff as per P65 since it's, you know, harmful.
    After that, I think, stuff will right itself out a bit.

    I'll get me coat.

    </rant>

    EDIT: Picture provided below. If anything can de-mojofy something as iconic as the Tube Screamer then this, I fear, is it!

    20210915_125843.jpg
     
    Last edited: Sep 15, 2021
  8. mexicanyella

    mexicanyella Friend of Leo's

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    On the other hand, no substances are known by the state of Florida to cause cancer.
     
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  9. mexicanyella

    mexicanyella Friend of Leo's

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    To me it seems like, if anything, a cancer/reproductive harm sticker would increase the mojo. It makes it, and you by extension for using it, that much more badass.

    Sometimes I’ll just go ahead and load my rechargeable string trimmer with .080” line, instead of .065”, because it’s more. With that sticker, you can be like that too!
     
  10. Obsessed

    Obsessed Telefied Silver Supporter

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    Wouldn’t be nice if the world didn’t make stuff that could cause cancer?
     
  11. Skyhook

    Skyhook Tele-Meister

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    I see what you're saying but I'll have to agree to disagree there.
    1) Nothing says Rock'n'Roll like a superfluous regulation notice! We all know R'n'R is about dotting the i's and crossing the t's, right? </sarcasm>
    2) I'll agree to the label when we have the first scientifically proven case of "Reproductive Harm" caused by using a Tube Screamer as intended(i.e. not for banging it on your willy).
    3) If California "needs" false labels like that, fine, I won't live there. But spare me those labels when I don't! Especially since my Tube Screamer has never set foot inside US borders!
     
    Last edited: Sep 15, 2021
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