Fly Tennis

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by Steerforth, Feb 17, 2020.

  1. Steerforth

    Steerforth Tele-Afflicted

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    I gave up on playing tennis a long time ago, because when it comes to tennis I am The Big Bam, The Sultan of Swat, The Caliph of Clout, The Home Run King!

    But apparently, hitting the ball out of the court and into the next county is not actually what tennis is about, as several highly annoyed tennis partners have tried to explain to me over the years. And besides, I never could figure out where the bases are on a tennis court and when I asked people they just looked at me funny and walked away.

    But a couple of weeks ago, Mrs. Steerforth brought home two electric tennis rackets. But they’re not for tennis, they’re for flies. I had mutilated several dozen regular fly swatters recently, and I guess she got tired of finding them bent and broken. And trust me, with horses around, you need anti-fly weaponry.

    These things are great! You press the button on the handle and swing at the fly and they get to ride the lightning! Sparks, excellent electrical sizzling sounds, the works. And I’m getting good with these things, too! I’ve nailed quite a few in mid-air with the old Wimbledon backhand.

    If you don’t have a couple of these, you’re missing out. Personally, being half-bright with building tube amps, I want to take one apart and see how they work. I’d like to build a really big one out of tough, reinforced hardwood, with a circuit that would turn everything in its path to cigarette ash instantly!

    Yes, look into these electric fly swatter tennis rackets. Highly recommended!
     
  2. nojazzhere

    nojazzhere Doctor of Teleocity

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    Fly swatters are the best way to destroy lamps and vases.....and even occasionally a fly or two. ELECTRIC fly swatters? That might add a new, fun dimension to it! ;)
     
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  3. Allan Allan

    Allan Allan Tele-Meister

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    I'm 1/2 a mile from a farm with some horses. The flies are unbelievable. Sign me up for one of those hardwood swatters when you get around to building them.
     
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  4. stormsedge

    stormsedge Tele-Afflicted Gold Supporter

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    When I was a kid, our old barn had lots of carpenter bees. When they became to thick and obnoxious to get in and out, we'd take our badminton rackets and thin them out.
     
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  5. Steerforth

    Steerforth Tele-Afflicted

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    Here’s the real sizzlers:

    Tennis Racket Fly Zapper

    She also bought a yellow one, different brand, but that’s very quiet. It doesn’t arc and spark. It just quietly stuns them and you have to finish them off on the floor.

    The ones that I linked above are the highly entertaining model. It’s almost like having a new hobby. And you kill far more flies than with a regular swatter.
     
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  6. Wrighty

    Wrighty Friend of Leo's

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    In spite of environmentalists’ attempts we have yet to get electric flies here. Ours are still carbon based and causing pollution and climate change.
     
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  7. trev333

    trev333 Telefied Ad Free Member

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    I have insect screens.... the odd fly that gets in is soon rounded up and removed..

    with the two hands clapping move....;)
     
  8. MarkieMark

    MarkieMark Tele-Holic

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    Well... Then.... Ya'll likely luv this!

     
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  9. ClashCityTele

    ClashCityTele Tele-Afflicted

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    How many watts?
    Could you gig with them or are they just for home use?
     
  10. Allan Allan

    Allan Allan Tele-Meister

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    These horse flies don't give a crap about screens. They also don't care about the bathroom exhaust fan, they'll fly right against it into the bathroom.
     
  11. stxrus

    stxrus Friend of Leo's

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    We have The Jolt (a new version of the Zapper) which is a tennis is racket looking electric mosquito killer. I’ve had minimal luck with flies but it will fry a spider, roach, or Jack Spaniard and pop a mosquito in a heart beat
     
  12. trev333

    trev333 Telefied Ad Free Member

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    I know... they're that big down here.. they try and spread the mesh and bust into the house all the time..:lol:
     
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  13. Obsessed

    Obsessed Telefied Ad Free Member

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    I live off the grid. Probably too much electricity for me.
     
  14. OldDude2

    OldDude2 Tele-Afflicted

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    Have you tried them on a wasp? Here in middle Tennessee they have the hated "cow killer" red wasp. My Jack Russel was stung on the back and he went into shock and would have died if we hadn't taken him into the doggy ER.
     
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  15. Steerforth

    Steerforth Tele-Afflicted

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    Not yet, but warm weather is coming. I hate those things!

    For those not familiar with this charming insect, getting stung by one feels like getting shot with a small caliber weapon if they get a good, square shot at your bare skin. They like to nail you with a stealth approach, usually when you’re distracted while working. And their stings seem to take an inordinate amount of time to heal cimpletely.

    I’m looking forward to trying out the racket on those aggressive little &@$*#’s!
     
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  16. Buckocaster51

    Buckocaster51 Super Moderator Staff Member Ad Free Member

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    I have one of those. They work and work well
     
  17. OldDude2

    OldDude2 Tele-Afflicted

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    Here's what they look like and they're very aggressive. CowKillerAnt.jpg
     
  18. Steerforth

    Steerforth Tele-Afflicted

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    I tried. Mrs. Steerforth has prohibited them because of what I did with the air soft pistol.
     
  19. Jupiter

    Jupiter Telefied Silver Supporter

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    I'm sorry to tell you that if you have a problem with "holding back" you are gonna break that thing on the first day.

    IF you don't put it through a screen first.
     
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