First Dates

stormsedge

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Do you have a memory of a first date for good or bad?

Mrs and my first date was on this day…26Nov75. We went to a Beach Boys concert in Memphis.

 

Spox

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I have had twelve years of first dates via internet dating or asking a classmate at college out.

Here's one with a classmate at college either end of 2011 or early 2012. She'd chosen a busy citycentre Irish bar for us to meet in, music was so loud I could barely hear her across the table. What I did hear was her telling me that she was looking for marriage, children and that the children would be taken back to Ireland and educated there. She also told me that she had a Professorship in Biology, lectured in it at a prestigious university and was the owner of a house in one of the wealthiest areas of the city and that if I could not at least match this to not waste my own time or hers. I couldn't and didn't.

Same time period, met a woman from a dating site, she arranged to meet at a bar restaurant close to her house and invited me back to hers. She asked me if I wanted a cup of tea or coffee and I said no, I only take decaf, but she insisted on me having a herbal tea and handed it to me in a mug with a full frontal nude photo of a male on it. I took this as a cue and suggested some jiggerypokery and she replied that she was going to meet some of her friends and that I had to leave immediately and I did so. I emailed her asking if I had picked up the wrong signals and she said no but that she was in a relationship with another woman and just wanted a male friend. Something that came up earlier in the restaurant was that we were both not long out of man/woman LTRs and that we both knew the people both of us had been cut loose for.

Same time period, in a small restaurant with another woman and I had a brain fart and exclaimed "I used to sniff glue in the flat above us." The irony was that it was the fact that I no longer partake of the chemically enhanced lifestyle which was the clincher, she was one of those people who walks around on stilts at festivals out of her face and was looking for same.

There's plenty more like this, the universe has been a cruel and vengeful mistress towards me during the last twelve and half years of singledom :)
 

imwjl

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Overall my memories of first dates are not good.

If my wife and I had one it was unusual - we were the only ones who went through with the idea in a casual group that was camping trip to a windsurfing destination. We've been together 33 years since. When I picked her up is when I met her mom mowing the lawn in a bikini while her dad was in lederhosen with a beer, cigar and newspaper.

I thought something like "this family sure looks fun and interesting" and I was correct.

Edit: I guess that camping and windsurfing was a good first date.
 

teleman1

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My Brother went out on a date with a gal who just dated my cousin. My cousin, a very nice guy, happens to talk like the Sopranos wish they could talk. He can sound not with it or intimidating. SO the date made fun of my cousin. My brother was a handsome dude an any girl in the high school would want a date with him. And this gal, wanted to go out on a date with him. And my Brother obliged. He took her to a restaurant for dinner. Excused himself to go to the bathroom and left her there. This probably happened around 1957 in Chicago.
 

trapdoor2

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I took a girl to the movies...1974? All I can remember is that it was raining, my VW leaked and her purse got wet. She's now an old friend (though rarely seen...last time was at MIL's funeral).

First date with Miz Diane was dinner and a movie. No idea of the movie but dinner was at Olive Garden...1986. Married a year later.
 

nojazzhere

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Do you have a memory of a first date for good or bad?

Mrs and my first date was on this day…26Nov75. We went to a Beach Boys concert in Memphis.

I almost need hypnosis to recall even my last "first" dates.....but I do remember the "kind of" first date with the girl I eventually married. (and divorced) We were high school kids hanging out with a bunch of other friends. (from a church group) We were sort of "hippie" wannabes, and this girl who was super cute often went around barefoot. We all decided to go to a pizza place, and they wouldn't let Lynn in without shoes. (remember No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service?) I happened to have an extra pair of sandals in the car, and I loaned those to her......THEN I had to hang around her to keep tabs on my shoes. Turns out, she was looking for some excuse to hang around me. This all led to dating, eventually intimacy, then pregnancy. (which back then demanded marriage) We lasted ten years (almost) before a rancorous divorce. I recognize and acknowledge my failings and responsibilities in the marriage's failure, but will honestly insist that she was at least 60% at fault.
The sad thing is, I'll be eternally grateful that she "took off", and also sad that her life took a slow but definite nosedive after that.....to the point that our daughter is emotionally crippled by her mother's treatment of her, and no one (daughter, grandson, even her own family) have any idea where she is.....or if she's even alive.
 

KC

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Met a girl on a porch at a party in 1973 here in Missoula, mentioned that the Stones were playing in Minneapolis two days later, she said let's go & we went. Hitchhiked 1200 miles, found somebody to put us up, somehow scored tickets to the concert and had a real good time. Everybody was nice to us, we liked each other, the music was great and we got home without incident. Perfect first date. We split up a while later, without rancor, and both went on to have excellent lives, but not together.
 

NoTeleBob

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... and she replied that she was going to meet some of her friends and that I had to leave immediately and I did so.

It sounds like that situation was a little different than the normal, but that is sort of an old-school standard.

Often when you go on a first date you'll find that a woman will say "I'm going out with some friends later" very early on. That's just to set up an escape plan so that if she doesn't like the way the date is going she can pull that back out and leave.

Very few women will leave a date that they're actually enjoying. So you can follow up after that exit but odds of success are one in 1000. It's usually best to just let it go.
 

Spox

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My Brother went out on a date with a gal who just dated my cousin. My cousin, a very nice guy, happens to talk like the Sopranos wish they could talk. He can sound not with it or intimidating. SO the date made fun of my cousin. My brother was a handsome dude an any girl in the high school would want a date with him. And this gal, wanted to go out on a date with him. And my Brother obliged. He took her to a restaurant for dinner. Excused himself to go to the bathroom and left her there. This probably happened around 1957 in Chicago.
One of my exs told me that her previous partner had asked to borrow her MacBook Pro laptop and she had refused as she needed it for her degree work. He was really angry and shortly afterwards suggested going out for a meal and chose an evening which was raining. When they got there he told her that because she had refused the loan of the laptop she could stand outside in the rain and wait whilst he ate in the restaurant and she did so. She was from a patriarchal culture and put up with that.
 

brookdalebill

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My first date with my first (and only) high school girlfriend, Mary Ann, was ultra memorable.
We went to dinner at Pizza Hut, and saw American Graffiti at the Fox theater.
We we’re both juniors in high school.
Both 16.
She was the center of my universe for 5 years.
I still miss her.
 

StoneH

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I lived in Okinawa when I started "dating" in the late '60s. Military shuttle busses were free and ran over most of the island, so the parents didn't have to drive me anywhere. Movies cost 25 cents, and there were teen clubs on the different bases for listening to bands and dancing (I was playing acoustic, but got the electric bug from watching those bands).

My future wife was a bartender at a neighborhood watering hole where my best friend was a manager. She was 21 and pretty, and hit on by every guy in the bar but me. That must have worked in my favor because she asked me out. We went to the beach on our first date . . . coconut oil was the rage back then ;). We were married 2 years later, and have been together 44 years.

Candy & Stone 12.JPG
 

teleman1

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One of my exs told me that her previous partner had asked to borrow her MacBook Pro laptop and she had refused as she needed it for her degree work. He was really angry and shortly afterwards suggested going out for a meal and chose an evening which was raining. When they got there he told her that because she had refused the loan of the laptop she could stand outside in the rain and wait whilst he ate in the restaurant and she did so. She was from a patriarchal culture and put up with that.
Well, that guy was a controlling headcase.
 

teleman1

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I lived in Okinawa when I started "dating" in the late '60s. Military shuttle busses were free and ran over most of the island, so the parents didn't have to drive me anywhere. Movies cost 25 cents, and there were teen clubs on the different bases for listening to bands and dancing (I was playing acoustic, but got the electric bug from watching those bands).

My future wife was a bartender at a neighborhood watering hole where my best friend was a manager. She was 21 and pretty, and hit on by every guy in the bar but me. That must have worked in my favor because she asked me out. We went to the beach on our first date . . . coconut oil was the rage back then ;). We were married 2 years later, and have been together 44 years.

View attachment 1054975
COCONUT OIL! My god!
 

Killing Floor

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The Mrs Floor and I were introduced by a mutual friend at a show (Game Theory at 688 Atlanta, 11/07/86) and she was on a date with some dork who smelled like patchouli. I called her one day and we planned to meet. She was a booker for some venues and for some reason had to go to Rome, Ga for a meeting so our first date was actually 3 hours in a car. That was a pretty good thing because we had a chance to talk without distraction.
 

cometazzi

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I was actually thinking about this subject last night, spurred on by my Tall Tales of Youth thread. When my family first relocated to So. Oregon I was a new kid in school (7th grade) and had few friends. There was a nice girl named Christina in my science class that always invited me to come study with her in the library while we waited for the bus after school. She was unconventionally pretty, smart and funny. It was the classic case of "the two nerds who had a crush on each other but were too shy to do anything about it".

At some point there was a 50s Sock Hop type dance at the school. She asked if I was going, and I said "no, of course not. Dancing is lame". She then told me I _had_ to go and meet her there. I guess I didn't realize she was either asking me out or trying to get me to ask her out. In any event I went and we danced a whole lot, even though I hate dancing. She giggled and thought it was neat that I could whisper-sing silly versions lyrics of all the songs in her ear during slow dances (in that stage of my life I was listening to a lot of doo-wop and surf music, so I pretty much knew all the popular songs*). That was the first time I had had a pretty girl that close to me in a 'potentially romantic sense'. It was something else.

I don't recall why, but nothing really came of that at the time. We did properly date a few years later in High School. I screwed that up by being too much of a party animal.

However, I guess being coerced to go to a 50s Sock Hop in 1987 was probably my first date ever. I wouldn't say I sometimes think about myself and Christina in a "what if?" scenario. There are definitely 20/20 moments when looking back at some the girls I chased in HS vs the other ones around me at the time, though. Stepping over a dollar to pick up a dime, and all that.


*EDIT: I forgot to mention that the Beach Boys song Good Vibrations always makes me think of her, ever since the 7th grade.
 
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DugT

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I used to have a fantasy of walking up to a good looking woman that was a stranger and kiss her. Then, without conversation, "Make love." This kinda happened.

A friend of mine got a new roommate who would be sleeping on the living room floor because the old roommate hadn't move out yet. I would be sleeping there too because I was visiting from out of town. She seemed interested in me right away so I was careful to avoid saying anything to change that. My friend and I went out to dinner and when we came back my fantasy came true several times that night on the living room floor. It was fun being young.

It wasn't really a first date. It was a zero date with the benefits of a third date.
 




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