Expecting my first kid, surname conundrum

What surname sounds more natural? (Horsaman is pronounced horse-a-man)

  • Smith-Horsaman

    Votes: 16 16.5%
  • Horsaman-Smith

    Votes: 81 83.5%

  • Total voters
    97

buster poser

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I don't know the law in England, but here you can change your surname, so you wouldn't really be saddled with anything. Sounds like you've changed yours once, so maybe this is a temporary decision you can revisit?

My birth father gave up parental rights when I was 10 so that my stepfather (who's been in my life since age 4) could "adopt" me. I now have his family name and even my birth certificate reads as though I was born to him.

Hopefully it's slightly impermanent over there as well. Good luck.
 

Asmith

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I don't know the law in England, but here you can change your surname, so you wouldn't really be saddled with anything. Sounds like you've changed yours once, so maybe this is a temporary decision you can revisit?

My birth father gave up parental rights when I was 10 so that my stepfather (who's been in my life since age 4) could "adopt" me. I now have his family name and even my birth certificate reads as though I was born to him.

Hopefully it's slightly impermanent over there as well. Good luck.

My name has always been Smith as far as my birth certificate is concerned. My stepdad was in the army and while I lived on the various different bases and attended their schools my used surname was Willis. And this all started before I could even speak in full sentences.

It wasn't until my stepdad settled into a more stationary role where he and my mum bought their first house and I started going to public school that I was then told that my actual last name is Smith.

I've identified as Smith for nearly 20 years now and it was even my nickname during the later years at school. That's why I want to keep it despite how I ended up with it.
 

AAT65

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As an alternative to double-barrelling, you can do what one of my colleagues and his wife did when they got married, and make a new portmanteau name: Horsmith maybe, or Horsamith, or Smithaman. Then when you decide to get married you can both switch to using the portmanteau name too.

(I know, it means neither of you get to keep your names, but it’s a compromise option…)
 

Asmith

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imho...Just pick one. Basically, it should be the mother's name. It will be a pita the child to have to write/say two last names for the rest of their life. Or just get married. Congratulations!

If you skip giving a middle name it's no worse than what most people have to put up with.
 

scrapyardblue

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As an alternative to double-barrelling, you can do what one of my colleagues and his wife did when they got married, and make a new portmanteau name: Horsmith maybe, or Horsamith, or Smithaman. Then when you decide to get married you can both switch to using the portmanteau name too.

(I know, it means neither of you get to keep your names, but it’s a compromise option…)
I applaud your thinking AAT, but I'd stay far away from Horsmith.
 

oatsoda

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I think making anybody deal with a hyphenated name without choosing it for themselves is disgraceful. Pick one or the other, or make up a new one, just don’t hyphenate your kids.

Good luck
 

jays0n

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Even though Horse-a-man is more interesting, I would go with Smith at the end. Later in life, they may not want to have to explain it each time they use their name. My last name is long and German but I do not look German and man I am tired as heck of explaining it all. If I could get away with “smith” I would do it!

Also, agent Smith in the Matrix films is cool!!!
 

stxrus

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I voted Horsaman-Smith.
Im not a huge fan of double last names but when I first read Horsaman-Smith I heard it in my head in rather heavy societal British accent. It just seems so proper, my good man. Cheerio and pip pip. Wink, wink, say no more

I hope no one gets offended by my weird/sick sense of humor or view on things
 

Killing Floor

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My wife is strongly feminist. When we had a similar discussion she explained to me the patriarchal nature of this as she understood it as a feminist. She could not choose between her name or my name. Only between her father’s name and my father’s name. And her commitment was to me, not her father. YMMV.
 

kuch

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Have you picked a first name? I would go with the arrangement that "rolls" best with the first name....
 

Cheap Trills

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I'd go Horsman-Smith. Smith-Horseman feels like an incomplete sentence. Horseman-Smith is a better resolution because people are used to Smith as a last name. And horseman adds some nice tension before resolving, works well.


Oh, just a word of warning though (which you probably already know). Showing her poll results from a guitar forum may be more likely to garner an eye roll than acquiescence. :)
 
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raysachs

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I’d start with the “H” so your kid won’t have to sit at the back of every classroom growing up. I’ve always had an S last name and I got into a lot more trouble near the back of the classroom than I suspect I would have if my nam had started with H, and I was in the front third of the class…

-Ray
 

Toto'sDad

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Just name the kid:

1660500724454.png


Everything else will work itself out.
 




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