Ever have to cook a turkey?

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by sean79, Nov 15, 2018.

  1. teletimetx

    teletimetx Doctor of Teleocity

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    ...yeah, highly recommended treatment for shortening your cook/smoke time and even cooking.

    It's called "spatchcocking". Not making that up. here's a video:

     
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  2. Frank'n'censed

    Frank'n'censed Doctor of Teleocity

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    ”Ever have to cook a turkey?”

    No, but I’ve roasted a few bad dogs
     
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  3. Flakey

    Flakey Friend of Leo's

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    It's time to go to this turkey instead;

    wildturkey101a.jpg
     
  4. telemnemonics

    telemnemonics Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

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    I've known a few people who roast birds on the grill (not grill the birds) regularly as a way to run an oven that's not indoors during the summer months.
    If there's a thermometer on the cover, you just keep checking the temp and try to keep it in a good range.
    Not sure how high the pan needs to be raised, or if it just sits on the grill, but it's done in a roasting or other pan just like roasting in a conventional oven.
    Certainly other grilling methods are possible, but one may use the grill for roasting if it has a good cover and preferably a thermometer.

    If the leg is rubbery, the bird aint done!

    Roasting a turkey adequately is about the easiest impressive cooking task on earth.

    Doing an exceptional job is a bit harder, but really, the great cooks of a Thanksgiving dinner have a harder job making all the side dishes and getting them to the table cooked right and still hot all at the same time.
    The bird is a breeze compared to the whole days work.
     
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  5. trapdoor2

    trapdoor2 Tele-Afflicted Gold Supporter

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    Big mistake: Miz Diane talked up my grilling capabilities to her mom (MIL) for years. Thus, when the turkey provider (an old neighbor lady who always cooked the turkey every year for the neighborhood T-day dinner, which was always held at the MIL's house) kicked the bucket, I was mandated to provide the turkey...that went on for 15 yrs. I enjoyed it for a while and then it became just another T-day chore.

    I used a Weber kettle for the first 10 yrs. A Primo XL ceramic for 3 or 4 yrs and then the kitchen oven for the last couple of years (the older crowd got to where they didn't like their turkey "smoked", even though I wasn't technically smoking it).

    Lessons:
    1. No matter what fancy technique/recipe you use, if the turkey is cooked, almost everybody is going to rave about it.
    2. There's always an Aunt Matilda or Uncle Joe who will gripe about something, regardless.
    3. Easy is almost always best.
    My favorite recipe:

    Tools: Big roasting pan with a "V" rack. Meat Thermometer with probe.

    Slather the bird in olive oil.
    Salt and pepper the exterior.

    Throw it in the heat. Done.

    LOL. I spatchcocked the turkey one year. Worked perfectly (I've been doing chicken that way for many years), much easier to control doneness, etc. Everybody at the party was disappointed. It didn't look traditional enough when I carved it up. Lesson: Entertainment value often trumps technique.
     
  6. telemnemonics

    telemnemonics Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

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    Uh, serving undercooked rotting meat can be considered an act of terror, maybe even use of a weapon of mass destruction.
    If Granny was the only one who ate the botchulistic delight, she must have an iron stomach with acids from hell.
    Had you not spoken up, there could have been a huge funeral in a weeks time.

    OTOH I do recall a Thanksgiving with a new GF's family after which I (and only I) was sick as a dog for a week...
    Maybe your plate was from a rotten bird cooked elsewhere?
    Did the family seem a bit odd to you?
     
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  7. supersoldier71

    supersoldier71 Tele-Holic

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    I deep fry 2 or 3 turkeys every Thanksgiving for the last ten years. It’s my family’s preferred method and it’s way faster than oven roasting or smoking.

    None of the techniques are hard, that is, it’s pretty easy to get decent results with any of them. Frying is faster and results in a tastier, juicier bird than other methods.
     
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  8. Stringbanger

    Stringbanger Telefied Ad Free Member

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    I agree with the Weber indirect method, but it’s not necessary to cut up the bird prior to cooking.

    As stated earlier, follow Weber’s instructions. They make no mention of cutting the turkey.

    It does take several hours so make sure to start early enough.

    I have done turkeys in the Weber at least 6 times over the years, and I have always had success. Of course it will have that charcoal flavor, but If you do it right, it’s worth it.

    I followed the instructions in the Weber cookbook that came with my grill. If you can’t find instructions, PM me and I will send them to you.
     
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  9. tery

    tery Poster Extraordinaire

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    I only buy cooked turkeys .
     
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  10. oldgofaster

    oldgofaster Tele-Meister

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    Should be great on the grill!

    But...Wife and I have roasted our big family turkeys for over 20 years in our oven. We use an oven bag and put it, 25# or larger special ordered, in at around 6:00am Thanksgiving morning. We watch TV and get ready showered, etc. around 10:30. We pull the done turkey, drain the juices for gravy and pack the turkey in towels inside a beverage cooler.....Then we drive an hour and a half to my brother's and cook the sides in his oven, eating around 2:30pm.. Always have a hot juicy bird and their oven is always free for the trimmings.
     
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  11. Junkyard Dog

    Junkyard Dog Tele-Afflicted

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    Agree! Do not cut up the bird! Yep, follow the Weber cookbook...it seems impossible to screw it up. The biggest challenge I've ever had was one year it was EXTREMELY windy, and it was hard keeping the grill hot enough. I built a makeshift windbreak out of some plywood sheets, and that helped.
     
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  12. Chunkocaster

    Chunkocaster Poster Extraordinaire

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    I had never even considered that they might have given me a "special" serving. It was over 30 years ago but I don't remember seeing a second bird.
    I did find it odd when Granny said never mind it's probably just weevils and continued to eat.o_O
    Come to think of it the girl did have an emo type brother that never left his bedroom.
    I have seen more recent pics of the girl, it was for the best at the end of the day.:)
     
    Last edited: Nov 16, 2018
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  13. MattyK-USA

    MattyK-USA Tele-Afflicted Silver Supporter

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    Well, you asked :)

    Matty K's tried and true grilled smoked turkey recipe:


    Ingredients


    1 turkey, whole

    2 Cups Chicken Broth

    2 Cups White Wine

    1 Lemon

    2 Apples

    1 Onion

    1 Rosemary sprig


    Rub ingredients:

    1/2 - 1 stick butter, lightly salted

    1 part Garlic Powder

    1 part Onion Powder

    1/8 part Cayenne Pepper

    1/8 part Smoked Paprika

    1/4 part Oregano (dried)

    1/2 part Rosemary (fresh or dried)

    1/2 part Basil (dried)

    1/2 part Kosher Salt

    1/2 part Black Pepper (fresh ground)

    1/2 part Mustard Powder

    1 part Brown Sugar

    1/4 part Lowry's Season Salt


    Extra Kosher Salt and freshly Ground Pepper


    1 big handful of Applewood chips, well soaked


    Start the grill. For gas grills you want to bring the grill up to temperature, then cut out all but one burner on the end when it's time to cook. Stabilize at 310-325 degrees. Ten minutes before you place the bird on, put the applewood chips on the fire side of the grill. DON’T OVERDO the chips! It is very easy to overwhelm the meat with smoke. A big handful will add plenty of flavor without overwhelming.


    Rinse Turkey well inside and out. Pat dry with paper towels. Place breast-up on a V-shaped roasting rack that lifts it off of the pan.

    Place rack and turkey in a disposable aluminum foil roasting pan (available at any grocer). Put a cookie sheet under the roasting pan for stability - DON'T FORGET THIS STEP!

    Using a long-handled spoon, run the spoon in between the breast meat and the skin to loosen the skin from the bird.

    Chop Lemon and one Apple into sections, and place them into the cavity, along with the sprig of Rosemary.


    You will need enough of the Rub to use under and over the skin, so size accordingly for the weight of the turkey... I try to have about 1/4 - 1/2 cup.


    Combine the Rosemary, Oregano, and Basil in a pestle and grind coarsely to release the flavor and aroma.

    Then, combine all Rub dry ingredients in a microwave-safe bowl and mix well.

    Add butter to the bowl and microwave on high for 30-45 seconds depending on quantity.

    Mix butter and dry ingredients until blended together.


    Spoon the rub mixture under the skin on the turkey breast. Rub lightly to distribute. Repeat under the left and right of the breastbone.

    Seal the cavity flap of the bird with a skewer or two.

    Spoon the remainder of the rub mixture over the bird. Remember a little goes a long way. Be sure to hit the legs and wings.

    If the turkey is cool, the butter will solidify on the bird, making it easy to retain and manage.


    Sprinkle the extra kosher salt and cracked pepper over the bird. Go easy on the salt - there's already plenty in the rub!

    Coarse chop the 2nd apple and the onion, and place in the bottom of the roasting pan.


    Put the bird on the grill.

    Pour the wine and chicken stock into the roasting pan, making sure not to submerge the bottom of the bird.


    Grill the bird (2-6 hours depending on size) until a wing can be easily removed by pulling gently away from the bird. Remember the interior temp should be 165 degrees. Add chicken stock as needed if the pan dries out. Resist the urge to open the grill frequently!


    Remove the bird from the grill, don't forget that cookie sheet.

    Let sit for 15 minutes before carving.


    Use drippings to make gravy - add a little cornstarch mixed with milk, and whisk to prevent lumps. Either strain out the onions and apple, or serve with them in the gravy (I love it left in).


    Enjoy!
     
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  14. BobbyZ

    BobbyZ Doctor of Teleocity

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    "One well placed .45 ACP slug is all you need. But if a guy can't hit nothing with a pistol, a shotgun is probably best."
    Wisdom from a local fellow, that doesn't exactly keep up with current game laws.
     
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  15. william tele

    william tele Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

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    I don't know, man. Everything seems so normal about Thanksgiving...until you start spatchcocking birds.

    May God have mercy on your soul...
     
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  16. ICTRock

    ICTRock Tele-Afflicted

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    on a grill? no. in a smoker? absolutely. the way I would approach this wouldn't leave you with a traditional looking turkey, I'd go with a small turkey, brine it, spatchcock it, and try my best to cook it with indirect heat using a water pan and keeping the heat as well regulated as possible
     
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  17. sean79

    sean79 Poster Extraordinaire

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    I wouldn’t have guessed that there were so many people here with turkey cooking experience. This place is great, and I appreciate all the replies/advice/suggestions.

    I feel a lot more confident about it all now. This grill/smoker does allow my to use an indirect heat, and the temperature is pretty easy to set and hold. It’s up to the task. Still... it would be a lot easier if everyone was just going to the in-laws’ and letting my MIL cook the turkey.

    I’ll let you all know how it turns out.
     
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  18. Ira7

    Ira7 Doctor of Teleocity

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    Definitely makes sense to do it the day before just to not STRESS over it the actual day.
     
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  19. Ira7

    Ira7 Doctor of Teleocity

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    The big problem I find with smoking is with the leftovers used to make turkey salad for sandwiches:

    I don't like the smoked taste mixed with the mayo. It's pretty weird, especially when you add celery, dill, whatever else you might include. Neutral turkey is much better.

    Think I'm gonna roast a duck this year.
     
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  20. bcorig

    bcorig Tele-Afflicted Silver Supporter

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    W-I-F-E is my solution to this conundrum.
     
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