Emotion is the enemy

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by getbent, May 20, 2020.

  1. getbent

    getbent Telefied Silver Supporter

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    that is new info to me... I thought that one of the things that keeps us sane is we forget bad things.

    I ran into a guy I knew a little in college about 10 years ago... oh man, I hated it. His memories of college were a nightmare to me.... not 'bad stuff' on me, but just dreadful stuff that went on that I forgot about.... all about 40 years ago... a million, jillion lifetimes ago and yesterday too..
     
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  2. doghouseman

    doghouseman TDPRI Member

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    Well, the problem is that some people are prone to remember bad things over and over again, even when there is nothing left to gain from the memory.

    But my point is that everyone is hard wired to remember bad things as a survival mechanism, but again, some people over do this.

    Also, this mechanism was much more useful when we were getting hunted by lions and tigers, and is less useful today when we get over worried about things that are not likely to ever happen - like shark attacks for example. Or we are not supposed to worry about getting in a car wreck, when that is much more likely and we have to do that every day. It makes for some problems with how our survival instincts are supposed to work.
     
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  3. Bluesboy3

    Bluesboy3 Tele-Holic Silver Supporter

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    I'm sure everyone is different. I remember both good and bad things. Seemingly equally. I can especially recall some of the things my mom said to me that I think a lot of kids (who would now be adults in this conversation) would let roll off their backs. For me, they have stuck. Dumb stuff, like "your friend Jeff would never do something like that".... seems small, but to me in my memory it was like an ultimate cut-down.
     
  4. Bluesboy3

    Bluesboy3 Tele-Holic Silver Supporter

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    Except the lions and tigers concept, I don't see why remembering "bad" things is an survival mechanism. I have made some bad decision, and learned from them, but bad memories (maybe I'm splitting hairs), have done nothing good for me, except for that I have realized this and worked on forgetting them.
     
    Last edited: May 20, 2020
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  5. getbent

    getbent Telefied Silver Supporter

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    I come from a large family... we had a fairly eventful and difficult childhood collectively. 3 of my siblings ONLY remember good stuff, one sibling only remembers the terrible things and talks about them incessantly at every family get together and doesn't understand why people wont sit with him.

    I'm somewhere in between. I don't dwell on the events of my childhood. I remember good and I remember the terrible stuff... but, I don't think about it unless prompted or something happens to bring it to mind.
     
  6. black_doug

    black_doug Friend of Leo's

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  7. Bluesboy3

    Bluesboy3 Tele-Holic Silver Supporter

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    I'm not quite like your sibling that complains. I do however, wonder, if my brothers (twins and younger) ever had the stuff I had, because when I recount some of my memories their response is usually that they never had that experience. It says to me obviously not that I observed things differently, but that things did happen to me differently than they did my brothers.
     
  8. Toto'sDad

    Toto'sDad Telefied Ad Free Member

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    If only more people thought that way! When someone expects something from me they are likely going to be disappointed. I am admittedly selfish and spend very little time pondering what other people think I should do, and I am completely okay with that.
     
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  9. Toto'sDad

    Toto'sDad Telefied Ad Free Member

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    When you live as long as I have when you hit one of those snags where you're beating yourself up over something, then you realize you're the only one left who is even alive to remember the event. You give a sigh of relief and move on.
     
  10. 1955

    1955 Poster Extraordinaire

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    Emotions get sold across the skyline. Helps to smell a few paper hulls falling after I’ve given all I’ve got.
     
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  11. getbent

    getbent Telefied Silver Supporter

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    I believe 2 of my sisters and 1 brother choose not to remember as they were witnesses vs. targets and they did nothing (not that they could, but still) and so they don't want it and only witnessed.

    not to go into gory detail but, if you ever saw the movie the great santini... that is a fair approximation... anyway, I kind of relate to the brother who complains, I get it, but it doesn't tell the whole story. The one thing I did that made everyone mad (for awhile) was at a family thing when I was 26, I asked my mom how she could sit and watch her babies be beaten.

    My mom is a pretty amazing person and one of my favorite people and her life was chaos... it wasn't a fair question.

    years later, I learned about my grandparents and great grandparents life in a more 'adult way' and how they crawled out of their chaos and even survived is a story in bravery and refusal to die.

    They really had lions and tigers (figurative) hunting them. No time for depression or anxiety or being sad... just GO, build, fight, do better, claw...
     
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  12. hepular

    hepular Tele-Meister

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    we (daughter & i) have been watching a LOT of hiromi uehara videos ^^^^^
     
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  13. Blue Bill

    Blue Bill Poster Extraordinaire

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    I'm pretty sure we never forget traumatic events. The earlier in our lives they happen, the deeper they are ingrained. To me, forgot means repressed or denied. These memories, and especially the unconscious emotional responses related to them, follow us around like an invisible 500 pound gorilla, and cause much havoc in our lives.
     
  14. soundchaser59

    soundchaser59 Tele-Afflicted

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    Getting rid of emotions is an over reaction. Like opening a box of chocolates and the one I taste I don't like, so I throw out the whole box. The OP is saying some of them are bad so let's get rid of all of them. How far do we carry that "logic?" Some guitar players are bad so let's get rid of all of them? Some people are bad so let's get rid of all of them?

    We can't throw out the whole house just because we aren't up to the challenge. Some emotions are wonderful. Why not face the challenge of learning how to multiply the wonderful ones, and how to incapacitate the desctructive ones?

    One thing that makes it so hard is we are not taught how to be selfless. We are taught to win, to get everything we can for ourselves, fend for #1 or die trying. Now we have a world (or at least a country) full of people all looking out for #1, and eventually we will die trying. Altruism is seen as a weakness, but altruism is one of the most powerful ways to fight the destructive emotions that focus on selfishness and egocentrism.
     
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  15. soundchaser59

    soundchaser59 Tele-Afflicted

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    Exactly why I believe the cliche "forgive and forget" is grossly misguided. We don't forget. Our brains are designed to remember, not to forget. That is why we are tuaght to forgive. We dont' forgive and forget, we forgive because we can't forget. If we don't forgive then the memories eat us up and destroy us from the inside out. The only way to defeat nagging memories is to choose to forgive. I can't forget, so I will forgive instead.
     
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  16. staxman

    staxman Tele-Holic

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    [​IMG]
     
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  17. 4pickupguy

    4pickupguy Doctor of Teleocity Silver Supporter

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    Fear. The most effective emotion ever...
     
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  18. tery

    tery Doctor of Teleocity

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    Love. The most dangerous emotion ever...
     
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  19. Cesspit

    Cesspit Tele-Holic

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    **** happens, so deal with it. Emotionally, rationally or philosophically you gotta do what needs doing.

    As for music, some of the best performances I've seen (and occasionally done myself) have been full of emotion.

    For decisions, I've had to make some tough, rational calls in my time in what could be described as life threatening situations.

    We can all do both of the above, you just got to recognise what's appropriate at what time.
    Just an old mans thoughts.
     
  20. Fenderdad1950

    Fenderdad1950 Tele-Holic

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    Sounds like a time for the Stones to jump in with some Emotional Rescue:rolleyes:
     
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