Double Entendres

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by kbold, Jun 15, 2019.

  1. bftfender

    bftfender Friend of Leo's

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  2. MattyK-USA

    MattyK-USA Tele-Afflicted

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    When I worked at Electric Boat in CT there was a meat store in a nearby town called "Scott's Meat". They put up a billboard just off of Route 95 that said "You can't beat Scott's Meat". It didn't last long.
     
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  3. Piggy Stu

    Piggy Stu Friend of Leo's

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    Similar story about Wang Computers in Cologne
     
  4. Moriarty

    Moriarty Tele-Meister

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    Recently opened in Keene, NH.
    Some concerned citizens fought to get them to change the name. They failed.
     

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  5. boris bubbanov

    boris bubbanov Tele Axpert Ad Free Member

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    There was a butcher shop in New Orleans called Wagner's.

    And they never did stop using that slogan, for decades. Bumper stickers, the whole shebang.

    By the way, where was that 3rd golf course in City Park? Was it wiped out by the I-610 Construction? I'm drawing a big blank on that. See, I didn't play golf there. Those fairways were for watching the moon rise, with a date (trying not to be apprehended by park security).
     
    Last edited: Jun 16, 2019
  6. MattyK-USA

    MattyK-USA Tele-Afflicted

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    There was a short course, a long course, and a "water" course. All of them were 18.00 to play. There was a two-deck driving range across the street from the entrance. They just decided to keep one course post-Katrina, due to the costs (and losing one third of our population). I remember driving by and seeing the knee-high grass all over one of the old courses.
     
  7. Owenmoney

    Owenmoney Tele-Afflicted

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    I had a part time job and the two managers were Jack and Dick.someone called asking for Jack.
    I replied Jacks off, But Dicks in !


    Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
     
  8. boris bubbanov

    boris bubbanov Tele Axpert Ad Free Member

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    I do remember that driving range.

    Yeah, we actually lost more like 2/3 of the population for a while. Lots of people keep places to stay there, but are only there less than half of the time. The Census people wanted to count me once for every separate piece of property I had, when I had changed the driver's license to Jefferson Parish.

    I remember one day on Carrollton Avenue in 2008, when it should have been heavy with Christmas preparations, and I could've driven across Carrollton on Orleans Avenue at 55 mph and I wouldn't have hit anything.
     
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  9. DonM

    DonM Friend of Leo's Silver Supporter

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    I must resume typing my resume if I want to be considered for the job.
     
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  10. trev333

    trev333 Telefied Ad Free Member

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    Don't Cut Yourself... the name of a mate's tree lopping/mowing business...:)
     
  11. Tonetele

    Tonetele Poster Extraordinaire

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    Same/Difference??
    Can anyone explain? Makes no sense to me.
     
  12. LGOberean

    LGOberean Doctor of Teleocity

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    Reminds me of an incident that happened to me about a quarter of a century ago, another "not quite" but darn funny.

    I was the assistant manager of a local bookstore. A customer walked in and straight up to me as I stood behind the counter. With a way about him that had all the sunniness of a fellow just baptized in bad vinegar, he forcefully proclaimed, "I need to get a Bible. But not just any Bible. It has to be a King James Bible. I don't want you giving me one of those HIV Bibles!" :eek::lol:

    What he was referring to was a Bible version known as the New International Version, commonly abbreviated as NIV. :rolleyes::lol:

    I was being paid to sell customers what they wanted, not to argue religion, or even correct errors of nomenclature, no matter how comically misguided. So without a word, and with a straight face (I still don't know how I didn't laugh right out loud), I turned to the shelves behind me, and selected a Bible in his precious King James Version. And though I didn't say it, I definitely thought, "The HIV Bible! A dangerous translation indeed!" :twisted:
     
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  13. blowtorch

    blowtorch Telefied Ad Free Member

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    Yeah, I'll have the Picasso melt. On rye. Also an Entendre.

    Better make it a double
     
  14. G.Rotten

    G.Rotten Tele-Holic

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    At work I always say the phrase "Job well done" with a long pauses & shrugging shoulders.

    Job.....................well ...............done.

    Whether or not it's a quality job, it is finished.


    We also had a boss who would remind us of our responsibilities.

    He would say "You're in control" which sadly with his accent sounded like "Urine Control". It is important to remember both in a professional setting.

    We have a Rockwell Hardness tester & the instructions were.

    Insert the hardened rod,
    Twist the knob until desired pressure is reached,
    Release load & measure the relief.
     
    Last edited: Jun 18, 2019
  15. Junkyard Dog

    Junkyard Dog Tele-Afflicted

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    Taxidermist in Pennsylvania used to have a sign that said "We mount animals".
     
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  16. Piggy Stu

    Piggy Stu Friend of Leo's

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    I would have put a condom on just to be sure
     
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  17. kbold

    kbold Tele-Holic Silver Supporter

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    Or when you burp during that important meeting, but something solid has come up with the burp. Important not to lose your composure at this point. Just swallow politely and carry on as normal.
     
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  18. rghill

    rghill Tele-Afflicted Silver Supporter

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    There used to be a car dealer in Phoenix called Miracle Motors.

    Their slogan: "If it's a good car, it's a Miracle!"
     
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  19. rghill

    rghill Tele-Afflicted Silver Supporter

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    Up near Sedona, there are two creeks. The names are "Wet Beaver Creek" and "Dry Beaver Creek".
     
  20. Piggy Stu

    Piggy Stu Friend of Leo's

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    Updated Riddle of the Sphinx

    We have all been in both, but never been in Sedona
     
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