Do You Use "Cheerleading"?

[unixfish]

Background. A number of years back, before I found my dietary issues, one of my doctors directed me to a website to help with diet. A lot of logging of food, which was unnecessarily hard, and then you join groups / got added to groups based on goals and issues. Logging was hard because I could not find the foods I was eating, so I had to log by the ingredient from a long pull-down. It was taking 45+ minutes each meal.

Once on the site, I started to get messages from other users saying "Good job!" and "Keep it up!" and "You are doing great!" and the like. I guess this was supposed to be motivational.

It wasn't.

My usual reaction to these messages was "Who the [expletive] are you, and why do I [expletive] care what you think?" Yeah - it was not motivational, it sort of made me upset / angry.

I know there are some people who need affirmation / cheerleading to keep motivated. I have no idea if this is for most people or not, but it sure isn't for me.

No judgement on my part - if it works for you, then use it.

Am I the odd man out on this?

 

[Brent Hutto]

Not necessarily "odd man out" but I will say there are a LOT of people for whom various forms of social support/reinforcement/encouragement do seem to help with behavior changes. But of course plenty of others like yourself for whom it is merely annoying and not helpful. It's kind of a "two kinds of people" thing.

 

[middy]

Background. A number of years back, before I found my dietary issues, one of my doctors directed me to a website to help with diet. A lot of logging of food, which was unnecessarily hard, and then you join groups / got added to groups based on goals and issues. Logging was hard because I could not find the foods I was eating, so I had to log by the ingredient from a long pull-down. It was taking 45+ minutes each meal.

Once on the site, I started to get messages from other users saying "Good job!" and "Keep it up!" and "You are doing great!" and the like. I guess this was supposed to be motivational.

It wasn't.

My usual reaction to these messages was "Who the [expletive] are you, and why do I [expletive] care what you think?" Yeah - it was not motivational, it sort of made me upset / angry.

I know there are some people who need affirmation / cheerleading to keep motivated. I have no idea if this is for most people or not, but it sure isn't for me.

No judgement on my part - if it works for you, then use it.

Am I the odd man out on this?

Nope. I’m exactly the same way. The same way when salesmen act concerned about my stuff. I’ll thank you to worry about the insurance coverage of your own stuff, sir, and not to waste another thought upon mine.

 

[willietheweirdo]

There is a fine line between encouragement and patronizing.

 

[Manual Slim]

I'm indifferent to cheerleading but sometimes I post online and ask if anyone is thinking like I am. Dopamine hits are effective regardless of what leads to them, I think.

 

[blowtorch]

came expecting nubile cheerleaders:
"yaaaaaaayyyyyy blowtorch! go blowtorch, go!"






sorely disappointed

 

[Kandinskyesque]

I needed some cheerleading in my early addiction recovery but only from people who has walked that path before.

I found/still find plaudits from friends and siblings while drunk at events insisting that I'm "doing well being off it" at best patronising.

 

[Toto'sDad]

The only cheerleading I ever got was a guy from AA once told me I hadn't quit drinking I was just a dry drunk. I had been a dry drunk for ten years then. I have now been a dry drunk for twenty-five years, and I didn't have to listen to anyone but the guy I usually talk to, ME.

 

[Peegoo]

It's all just one small step above the LIKE button.

 

[BigDaddyLH]

Don't pat me on the back. That makes me *shake*with*rage*

 

[Brent Hutto]

Kind of like that verse in Behind Blue Eyes...

 

[985plowboy]

Hey man, gotta keep the troops motivated.

Y’all are doing a great job responding to this post!
Keep it up guys.
Well done.

 

[unixfish]

came expecting nubile cheerleaders:
"yaaaaaaayyyyyy blowtorch! go blowtorch, go!"






sorely disappointed

Oh yeah, especially if they are wearing - wait, never mind, I can't finish that thought here.

 

[Kandinskyesque]

Oh yeah, especially if they are wearing - wait, never mind, I can't finish that thought here.

On here the cheerleaders would be wearing short cargo skirts, socks and sandals with cropped bumched shrits.

 

[blowtorch]

Kind of like that verse in Behind Blue Eyes...

that one about being a pedo?

oh, wait

that's every verse

 

[Kandinskyesque]

The only cheerleading I ever got was a guy from AA once told me I hadn't quit drinking I was just a dry drunk. I had been a dry drunk for ten years then. I have now been a dry drunk for twenty-five years, and I didn't have to listen to anyone but the guy I usually talk to, ME.

Unfortunately the 12 step taliban/hard of thinking are everywhere.
I was told I had depression because I didn't go to enough meetings and keep a proper inventory of my behaviour.
I told him I didn't need to take an inventory if he was doing it for me and as for numbers of meetings, I asked him if he was stalking me.

 

[unixfish]

My daughter claims I am a contrarian; she may be on to something.

I remember a few instances from early childhood, doing a project, having the teacher not agree with my approach, and my going way too far a different direction as a protest. I found a poem I wrote from elementary school called "Burn out, burn out little star". I remember submitting it as "Twinkle twinkle little star, power equals I squared R", which my father used to say all the time (he was an engineer). Nope - teacher did not understand it, therefore it was wrong. Burn out burn out it was.

I also remember 5th grade, and teachers announcing accomplishments for the class. I went up to tell her I had broken the school record for the 100 yard dash, because she had announced other students breaking records, and she just said "That's nice" and never announced it.

That was a turning point for me. I channeled my inner German from that point forward and became unaffected by everything. That was probably the start of me not wanting or looking for empty adoration.

 

[loopfinding]

yeah, i don't like cheerleading. don't do it for others, don't want it. positive or negative criticism about the work is fine, but i don't like ad hominem stuff in the mix. the work is assessed at a distance.

i've noticed that when i've worked with people who haven't been making music for very long, or are more into it like a hobby, they've criticized me for "not being supportive enough." but almost every musical situation i've been in there's no cheerleading. just figuring out consensus over what went right or wrong.

 

[blowtorch]

Don't pat me on the back. That makes me *shake*with*rage*

there, there

 

[BigDaddyLH]

there, there