Do you like beans?

Fretting out

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That kept popping up in my YouTube feed but I avoided it because it looked vile

Indeed I do enjoy beans from time to time

Not as much as the English though! They have baked beans with breakfast! Not really into it for breakfast but I would love to try a true English fry up for breakfast one of these days

Beans…..

No offense to our English members
 
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Fretting out

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Beans are great.

Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans.

He loved them dearly, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat explosive effect on him.

One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself, “she’ll never go through with the marriage with me carrying on like this,” so he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. Shortly afterward, they were married.

A few months later, on the way home from work, his car broke down. Since they lived in the country, he called his wife and told her that he would be late because he had to walk home. On his way, he passed a small cafe and the wonderful aroma of baked beans overwhelmed him. Since he still had several miles to walk he figured he could walk off any ill effects before he got home.
So he went in, ordered, and had 3 extra large helpings of delicious baked beans. He farted all the way home. By the time he arrived home he felt reasonably safe.

His wife met him at the door and seemed somewhat excited. She exclaimed, “Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for you for dinner tonight!” She put a blindfold on him, and led him to his chair at the head of the table and made him promise not to peek.

At this point he was beginning to feel another one coming on. Just as his wife was about to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang. She again made him promise not to peek until she returned, and away she went to answer the phone.

While she was gone, he seized the opportunity. He shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It was not only loud, but also ripe as a rotten egg. He had a hard time breathing, so he felt for his napkin and fanned the air about him.

He had just started to feel better, when another urge came on. He raised his leg and RRIIIPPPP!!! It sounded like a diesel engine revving, and smelled worse. To keep from gagging, he tried fanning his arms a while, hoping the smell would dissipate. Then he got another urge. This was a real blue ribbon winner, the windows shook, the dishes on the table rattled and a minute later the flowers on the table fell over. While keeping an ear tuned in on the conversation in the hallway, and keeping his promise of staying blindfolded, he carried on like this for the next ten minutes, farting and fanning each time with his napkin. When he heard the phone farewells he neatly laid his napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top of it.

Smiling contentedly, he was the picture of innocence when his wife walked in. Apologizing for taking so long, she asked if he had peeked at the dinner table. After assuring her he had not peeked, she removed the blindfold and yelled, “SURPRISE!!!”

There, seated around the table to his great alarm, were twelve dinner guests for his surprise birthday party!

My dad told the same joke 30 or so years ago !
I’ve never heard that one, I’ll have to remember it, that’s pretty good!
 

Tonetele

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I love beans and eggs, bean soup and just don't want meat every night. We grew up poor and Sunday was a vegetarian day. No harm we just didn't put a lot of weight on.
 

Old Deaf Roadie

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You go to a Mexican restaurant, chips and beans are tortilla chips & refried. Come for chips and beans at the Roadie household and you will get Ruffles and Bush's baked beans. We use the chip as a utensil to scoop the beans. Goes great with homespun potato salad year round.
 

jvin248

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Use dry beans and rinse them during cooking to eliminate the non-digestible sugars ... you don't need added GAS or you'll end up with extra guitars!





Properly cooked .. pinto beans seem to have less of those sugars than many other beans. Perhaps the reason they are called pinto is not referring to their size.


.
 
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trapdoor2

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Pintos are Miz Diane's favorite bean. On the road, when we stop at Cracker Barrel, she will always add a cup of Pintos 'n' Cheese. I like 'em all.

When the winter chill hits, 15-Bean soup is our go-to. When the bean varietals come in at the roadside markets...pot of beans tonight!

We grew rattlesnake beans one year...filled the big freezer in the garage. Went on vacay and the freezer had died, ruining all of it. First time I saw Miz Diane cry...
 

1293

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I do.

20221101_111320.jpg
 

wacolo

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I have trouble putting into words how MUCH I despise beans. It has been that way since I was a child. Beans and peas. The sight and smell turn my stomach. Any and every kind. It really does not matter how they are cooked. They are all truly vile to me. The only exception might be a green bean, but only if it is out of a can. If it is fresh it is too beany.
 

Toto'sDad

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Love Baked Beans, as someone else said, especially Bush's Baked Beans.
We always make a point to stop by their visitor center in Chestnut Hill, TN whenever we are out that way. The GPS always manages to take us by there :)

If we have a baked or broiled chicken I love me some Bush's Baked Beans with it.
 

Toto'sDad

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I like chili, I like chili with beans. I love beans! We have a soup my wife makes that has cabbage and other vegetable in it, then on the side is a bowl of pinto beans that you add to the soup! I love that stuff! It's kind of a Basque dish.
 




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