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Do NOT Resuscitate

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by Big_Bend, Aug 5, 2020.

  1. Big_Bend

    Big_Bend Poster Extraordinaire

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    One of my best friends I've known since high school, he is 60 now.. A few weeks ago he had a heart attack... They put him in the hospital and changed some heart valves. All seemed to be going well.

    Then last week a major clot formed in his right leg and they had to amputate it, they couldn't risk having the clot break loose and kill him. Now his left leg is all black and his fingers are turning black and his right stump keeps bleeding and his blood pressure is not good and its all just a huge freekin' mess. I feel so sorry for my friend, his family is unable to visit... as his body is slowly dying and being hacked to pieces.. a nightmare hell much worse than death IMO. Much better to just go out with a heart attack and call it a day.

    So this has reminded me - I need to fill out a Do Not Resusciate form and make sure my loved ones know about it. I don't want to be given CPR if I stop breathing... I've had a good life and I'm not afraid to die and I just don't want to be hanging on at the end in a world of hurt and horror.

    Anyone here have DNRs filled out? What is the best way to do this?

    Maybe I should get a tattoo too.

    upload_2020-8-5_14-21-9.png
     
  2. jannodude

    jannodude Tele-Afflicted

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    That is a medical order that needs to be signed by a medical doctor.

    You can get the necessary forms from your doctor’s office.

    You have to be competent and be able to make sound decisions in order to fill out the form.

    Edit: DNRs are not to be confused with Advance directives
     
    Last edited: Aug 5, 2020
  3. nojazzhere

    nojazzhere Doctor of Teleocity

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    Odd you should mention this now.
    When I saw my doctor two weeks ago, she gave me the "Medical Directive" forms for her to have on file. I've filled it all out, just need two non-related witnesses to sign.
    My mother wears a DNR bracelet.
    Sorry for your friend.........
     
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  4. jannodude

    jannodude Tele-Afflicted

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    Sorry for you friend..

    This is a hot topic for my wife and I. I DO NOT want to be placed in any form of life support (advance directives). I don’t mind being resuscitated if my heart stops but if my body can no longer breathe on it’s own, I think it’s time to go.
     
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  5. jhundt

    jhundt Doctor of Teleocity

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    that is a very sad story.

    I do not want to minimalize the sadness; or to disagree with your choice to DNR.

    But 15 years ago my wife was told by her cardiologist that she would not last a month, and she should accept that fact. Luckily, we did NOT accept that and sought a second opinion.

    You are worried about a world of hurt and horror; but many people are revived and go on to live for years - even decades - quite happily.
     
  6. dickey

    dickey Friend of Leo's

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    Sorry to hear about your friend. I'm no doctor, but amputation seems like an extreme measure for what should be a simple problem to fix. Couldn't they do an angioplasty on him? Maybe a clot buster drug? I dunno...but I would be hard pressed to let them do that to me, & I have had a valve replacement & may need another in the distant future.
     
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  7. jannodude

    jannodude Tele-Afflicted

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    Sometimes a person may have peripheral vascular disease which maybe a reason for the clotting.

    The danger here is if the clot breaks off and becomes “embolus” which may lead into a pulmonary embolism which can be fatal.

    Disclaimer: Not a MD but I work with patients.
     
  8. 24 track

    24 track Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

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    I cant discuss this right now ( too close to home for me) But my best wishes go out to your friend , lets hope he stablizes really really soon.
     
  9. richiek65

    richiek65 Friend of Leo's

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    That's such a scary situation all round..
    I'm completely with the OP on this one.

    Unrelated, but a guy I work with from time to time picked up a staph infection during a minor surgery. Long story short he ended up in a coma and the hospital rings his ex-wife (they had very recently separated and she was still next of kin) saying if they don't amputate both his legs in the next 30 mins he's only got 20 percent chance of survival. She didn't want to make the decision and asked for as much time as possible while she gathered her thoughts. They rang her back soon after and said if we don't do it right now, he'll only have 5 percent survival chances. She told them not to amputate, as if he couldn't walk, play football etc, he wouldn't want to live. Big call!

    Well, he survived, and it took him about 2 years to fully recover, but he's back at work (firefighter) and playing football and running around with his kids etc.

    I still can't believe it after seeing him in the hospital in recovery with two legs completely black and he looked like death itself.
     
    Last edited: Aug 5, 2020
  10. getbent

    getbent Telefied Silver Supporter

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    We just went through this! My mother in law has had a DNR for several years. She was quarantined in her assisted living apartment and fell and broke her neck (on mother's day, maybe an hour after we'd been in her window singing to her) the assisted living place called the paramedics and... they resuscitated her.

    Got her to the hospital, got her kinda fixed up (88, parkinson's, broken neck, lots of other things wrong) and sent her to a rehab hospital, she gets up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom (should have had restraints in her condition, but we could not visit due to covid) and she FALLS... the crew at the rehab place... RESUSCITATES her and they take her back to the hospital...

    At this point, we are kind of apoplectic... we verify with ALL parties that she has a valid DNR. The first 3 places all 'kind of' apologize... we have her transferred to a more assistive care facility and her doctor puts her on hospice. We get lucky (if competence is luck) with the last place... everyone is completely on board with her wishes... the hospice advances and she passes in about 10 days.

    moral of the story: having a DNR is a good idea if you want one (there are degrees too) and having it on file etc is a good idea... and making sure your family knows your wishes is good too... but, none of it is a guarantee that it will happen... and, frankly, we weren't mad at anyone... they were doing what they thought was right... no harm, but it was terrible talking to her and she was so miserable and so ready to go...and they kept 'saving' her...

    So sorry about your friend. That sounds awful.
     
  11. ladewd

    ladewd TDPRI Member

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    I’m 67yrs old. About 5yrs ago I had an arterial bypass done on my leg. About a month after the operation the graft sprung a leak. Blood was shooting out of my leg with every heartbeat. The paramedics took me to the hospital, they stopped the bleeding & I had a 3 day stay in the hospital. They released me & within 15 minutes of getting home, it happened again. I had lost so much blood from the previous incident that this time I passed out. I was in full cardio-pulmonary arrest by the time they wheeled me into the ER. They were able to revive me after 5 minutes of trying. I didn’t have a DNR or Advanced Directive. They almost threw in the towel but then I responded. Other than giving me a blood transfusion through a hole they drilled in my shin bone, I don’t remember anything except my family coming by and speaking to me once I regained consciousness. I was blinking my eyes to answer them. The last thing I remember was they wanted to put me on a ventilator. The nurse told me she was starting a Fentanyl drip. I woke up the next morning & felt like my chest had been run over by a truck.

    I have mixed feelings about the DNR thing. My wife knew I wanted them to pull the plug if I were to become a burden to my family, they had her in a room & told her they didn’t think I was going to make it. Then a doc came running down the hall yelling I responded & was conscious. Had I had a DNR, I wouldn’t have lived to walk my daughter down the aisle when she got married last week.

    On the other hand, getting “revived” is a hell of a shock mentally & physically. I was ready to go. I’ve had a fulfilling life & had no regrets. I can totally understand why someone would want to sign a DNR. It was a brutal experience that took over a year to get over.
     
  12. ale.istotle

    ale.istotle Tele-Holic Silver Supporter

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    Sorry about your MIL's suffering.
    DNR is very much against caregiver instincts. I know place here in Pennsylvania that sent a DNR to the hospital and the repercussions were serious. State board involved, family of patient, lawyers. The whole deal.
     
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  13. Mechanic

    Mechanic Friend of Leo's

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    I would do DNR IF I was on life support and no mental activity. That being said. My first wife passed in that situation. I’ve had major transplant surgery with low blood pressure ( naturally), got too much anesthesia, They had the trodes out and at the ready, but didn’t use them.
    Now 18 months later I’m golden.
    I’d say an on scene accident give it a try. Life support there’s gotta be a reasonable expectation of recovery.
     
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  14. getbent

    getbent Telefied Silver Supporter

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    that was our take. I 'get' that the idea of patient care isn't monolithic (keep them alive) it has more nuance than that (quality of life etc) but, I also get that people don't go into health care to let folks go, so, we signed off (of course the timing was awkward, she passed and the various organizations wanted us to sign saying it was 'okay' (what they did.)

    I'm sure if we had wanted, we could have lawyered up, but we knew everyone was trying (well one of the places was not my favorite) but, either way, we didn't see any benefit in pursuing it. Once they gauged that we weren't litigious, they were all super sorry and kind... but it was an added thing... the most epically amazing part was AFTER she passed, the funeral home called and told us the coroner had to do an autopsy on her AND interview us.... When we talked to the coroner and he discovered she fell each time WHILE IN THE CARE of the various places AND that she was quarantined and we weren't physically there... he got the results really fast... and they charged us 484.00 plus 1500.00 for the autopsy and transporting to and from the coroner.

    Mind blowing. But, you know, you keep your wits about you and realize that the goal is to be out of the 'care' of these various organizations. We had a mini service and about 10 different masses were conducted for her (various family places and places where she had friends etc) and now that is behind us.

    I feel so bad for people without the resources or wherewithal to deal with all that stuff. We always thought her financial guy was kind of a goof and we have verified that during the closing out of her trust etc... We have stayed cordial, but we are adapting our own affairs so that our kids won't have the same nonsense.
     
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  15. Deathray

    Deathray Tele-Afflicted

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    @Big_Bend Really sorry to hear about your friend. That sounds nightmarish.
    This whole thread has brought up some thoughts I’ve had on this subject for some time. The wife and I need to talk. I appreciate everyone’s contributions. I’m on medication for high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and high blood sugar. Heart disease is prevalent on my mother’s side, and she died of it.
    If it’s my time, I’d rather go.
     
  16. graybeard65

    graybeard65 Tele-Meister

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    Nothing in the world wrong with an informed DNR/DNI, and I see them at least weekly - it is a medical form that you'll need to complete in accordance with the laws in your state. Furthermore, make sure that you have a valid copy where a caregiver can access it in the event of an emergency...emergency medical technicians and first responders cannot and will not take your word for it - they're gonna want to see it on scene in the event of the unfortunate.
     
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  17. Uncle Daddy

    Uncle Daddy Tele-Afflicted

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    Blood clots after surgery are a problem, usually occurring in patients that are not mobile which is why they try to get you up and moving soon as possible. I spent some weeks on a orthopaedic ward, and it was normal to get people up the next day after surgery.

    Sounds like your friend may have sepsis.
     
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  18. Old Deaf Roadie

    Old Deaf Roadie Friend of Leo's Silver Supporter

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    my mom had a DNR. Problem was that they (my sisters) could not find it when the EMT's were there, so off she goes to the hospital.
    A week passes, and in that time they find the documents. Then mom has a heart attack while in the hospital & they decide to revive her, which prolonged her suffering for another 12 weeks. Big mistake on the hospital's part. The settlement included the hospital eating six figures, which was okay because it didn't cost us anything & none in my family wanted to deal with a court battle which wasn't going to bring her back.
     
  19. Mad Kiwi

    Mad Kiwi Friend of Leo's

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    WOW, that is a hell of a story.

    I'm really happy for you that it turned out so well, especially to be there for your daughters wedding.

    My business/work "partner" of 22 years just lost (gave up) on his battle with depression last week, so apart from being quite down about it, the whole "do you stick around or not" thing has been front of mind for me lately too.
     
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  20. Peegoo

    Peegoo Poster Extraordinaire

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    My sincerest condolences for your friend.

    A very similar thing happened to Jeff Quinn of GunBlast (YouTube). He died a week ago.
     
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