Do Big Moments Define You or Does the Day to Day Define You?

blowtorch

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true, but mostly ignorance is just ignorance!
the trick is discernment of what "information" is better left alone

while my sons were young i told them that I knew they could view all kinds of stuff online say at a friend's house, including public beheadings, marines burned inside cages etc. I told them there was nothing I can do to keep them from checking these horrible things out, but I suggested they not.

what is seen cannot be unseen

(re: Human Centipede: I'm up for most anything in the make-believe entertainment world, but that entire concept gets a big nope from me)
 

Buell

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In some ways, it's all of the above. In your first example, I have known people who have that altering moment where they realize they weren't up to snuff but then they change for the better. Some people never do change until it's way too late.

I feel like most people I know live mostly by example 2. Maybe not to the extreme of total community outreach, but good enough.

Personally, I'd like to think I fall into your 3rd example. Day to day good guy who cares about his family. But damn, i can play guitar!
 

Jim622

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Circumstances will dictate. You could be someone who has done no good their whole life and save humanity, or be someone who has been exemplary throughout your whole life and hesitate at a crucial second and be remembered forever for it.
 

getbent

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the trick is discernment of what "information" is better left alone

while my sons were young i told them that I knew they could view all kinds of stuff online say at a friend's house, including public beheadings, marines burned inside cages etc. I told them there was nothing I can do to keep them from checking these horrible things out, but I suggested they not.

what is seen cannot be unseen

(re: Human Centipede: I'm up for most anything in the make-believe entertainment world, but that entire concept gets a big nope from me)

I had a similar convo with my kids. My warning to them was along the lines of how some things you see 'stamp you' make an imprint and you can't really get the imprint off once its on... so, be careful.

My son told me he told a couple of his friends that when they were proposing to watch some dreadful things.

I experienced some difficult things early in life and they imprinted on me, so I wasn't speculating.

agree on the nope too.
 

String Tree

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Was reading a really great exchange between Dan German and Studio and from it, the question came to me... Are we defined by what we do in big moments or are we defined by our everyday exchanges and life?

In war of the worlds, Tom Cruise plays a pretty absent father who has been selfish and not a good father to his children. He hasn't put family first for many years, his children see him more as a sibling (and an errant one) but, during an invasion of aliens, he steps up and becomes a responsible adult.

Or the guy who all his life dedicates himself to being a good guy, kind and friendly, volunteers, does fund raisers, serves as a campus police officer, knows all the kids, does his best to give them good counsel, but on the day that a crazy shooter guy shows up, he is unable to storm the room and vanquish the bad guy, instead, he is stricken with indecision and is unable to move.

Or the dad that is attentive to family and friends, active in community and leadership, helpful and kind to all, but who also has a secret life that would shock many of those same people, not necessarily illegal activities, but shocking for the paragon.

What does define us?
I try to be the good guy.
YEP!!!
 

nojazzhere

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the trick is discernment of what "information" is better left alone

while my sons were young i told them that I knew they could view all kinds of stuff online say at a friend's house, including public beheadings, marines burned inside cages etc. I told them there was nothing I can do to keep them from checking these horrible things out, but I suggested they not.

what is seen cannot be unseen

(re: Human Centipede: I'm up for most anything in the make-believe entertainment world, but that entire concept gets a big nope from me)
I had to Google "Human Centipede".....
Uh, no thanks.
 

Greggorios

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Is this man going to chop wood, or perhaps something far more sinister is in store for him? It is only after we know what he will do that we can form judgment.

I don't know much about what he'll do next but I'll bet good money that inside that little red barn is a 35hp wood chipper with remnants of a kitchen apron still clinging to it. "Marge?...oh, she's visiting family out of town."
 

Oxidao

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Big cinematographic moments? or just the regular Big moments in the life of everyone. We all have big moments I guess, We don't need to *save the world... or not, we just can *save the guy next door... or not.
* you may substitute save by feed, please, etc

Answering your question, I would say the day to day for your contemporarys, and your Big moments for the Future people (if any) thinking on you.
 

JeffroJones

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but on the day that a crazy shooter guy shows up...
I've never had a crazy shooter turn up.
I have had an an endless stream of kids that need babysitting, friends that need a lift, a cousin who needs a hand moving a fridge, a sister who needs a shoulder to cry on and parents whose gutters need cleaning.
So I guess I'll just be dealing with what actually needs doing, and when a shooter turns up, maybe he could grab an end of that fridge?
:lol:

:::
 

Bob Womack

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The venue of the question is wrong. We are not simply defined by the specific actions we take, but upstream of them, by the content of our character. If our character is strong and just and our actions comport with that, it doesn't matter whether or not we save the day in some earth-shattering way with one of our actions.

You can influence the world in a way that is stronger than a hero can by living out a considered, loving life and raising strong, loving influential children, for instance.

Bob
 

telleutelleme

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I think others make that judgement depending how they interacted with you. I've had some really big moments in the last year; which have changed me in profound ways. I had much more day to day moments which dictated life before this past year. Very difficult to answer. I had been writing my autobiography and thought it was complete at chapter 54. In the past year I have added 6 more chapters. @Toto'sDad. Probably is right, you don't know until it doesn't matter.
 
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Toto'sDad

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I think a man's worst moment and his baddest behavior defines him to a large degree.
Women too

for example, if you kill someone in cold blood- it's likely nothing you do will ever be that "big", it can't be undone.

I say cheating on a spouse is the same.

Some behavior is defining

i mean sure there's redemption.

that doesn't take away consequences

You know it's devastating to some men to be cheated on by their wives or girlfriends. Some women though, just can't help it, they really can't. They keep making new alliances, and swearing they will be true, and they mean it when they are saying it. In time though, they do the same things over, and over again.

I know a woman, not one of mine, but someone that was once related to me, that has declared numerous times to have found that special love that's going to last until the end of time. Usually it lasts about six months, then it's time for a new love that's going to last until the end of time. Some women are in love, with falling in love, once the new wears off, it's time for another lover.

It's really too bad that men get hurt in this type of situation, sometimes so badly they never recover. I suppose there are men who suffer from the falling in love affliction, but it seems to me it's far more prevalent in women. One of my girlfriends from high school days, has been married six times. It was love every time until it wasn't. She once tried to strike up a little something with me for old times' sake, I pedaled out there faster than FreightTrain going down a mountain. I didn't want a bite from that apple.
 




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