Dating site recommendations

Maguchi

Friend of Leo's
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Jun 16, 2019
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Lalaland
I posted in a thread a few days back about a “relationship“ that I ended and now I am searching again. At 62, my choices are more limited now and I am not a millionaire. So where to find a decent-looking woman between say 56 and 63? I don’t go to bars but I don’t do church either. I was a member of several Meetups but a lot of them folded a year or two ago. That basically leaves online dating sites. (I refuse to do anything on Facebook or Twitter even if they had some sort of dating thing). I tried Match a few years back with mixed success but don’t want to pay their subscription fees again. There’s Bumble, Tinder, OKCupid, and Plenty of Fish as freebies, but it seems the men-to-women ratio is not in my favor. Note that I’m not a “player”—I just want to date one decent woman, one that’s not too crazy and looks good. Am I missing any other possibilities? I get frustrated: folks tell me I’m a good-lucking guy and nice, so according to them I should have a line of gals knocking on my door! Nope. Suggestions?
Weekday late mornings and afternoons I like to go to Starbucks or Peet's Coffe for a coffee and snack and checking messages on my phone or laptop and have met women there on occasion. I know you said you don't go to bars. But in the evening you can find a nice club with a good variety of live music. And if you don't drink there's always snacks, food and other beverages. So far around here I've found this has been pretty good for meeting women for me. Also these are good places to take a date if you meet them another way. Don't be discouraged if it doesn't happen right away. Sometimes it takes awhile or longer.

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kuch

Friend of Leo's
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Sep 30, 2011
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Location
Great Northwest
Big problem: I have no family here to speak of (my much older sister lives 75 miles away) and practically no friends, I moved back here a few years ago then the pandemic hit, eliminating what little social network that I was trying to build up. It’s really hard for someone in my age bracket to build up a new network of friends, especially for an introvert. Yes I know it seems like I am crying poor poor pitiful me, but ever since my wife died 10 years ago I’ve been struggling with meeting new people. For years my late wife wasn’t able to get out much so we had wound up staying at home, just the two of us, we didn’t have a social life back in Nashville. But I was working then so I wasn’t quite going crazy. Now I am retired and the house is too quiet.

And when you said “women in your target market should be abundant and plentiful“ I know you are trying to encourage me, but it has the opposite effect because I do see women out there in public—but how on earth do I actually meet them? I’m not programmed to walk up to a stranger in the mall and start chatting with them.
I know how you feel. I'm turning 70 next year and my wife and I have a small family/social circle. I can't foresee what I would do if she wasn't here.
Like other's have said maybe volunteering might get you out and being around people. teaching a beginners guitar class, or any kind of hobbies you might have, maybe something related to your former line of work. Any kind of coed sports like golf, bowling, pickle ball....take up biking or just walking. think out of the box and get out.
You're still young!

Or, what Maguchi said ^^^
 

Maguchi

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Lalaland
Also a lot of communities offer classes in Arts & Crafts/Hobbies, exercise, sports and fitness, tennis, swimming, recreation, languages and music lessons for adults. My neighborhood offers it through the community College. There are different classes for different age groups. Some courses for many age groups, and some are more popular with people my age 57. These are also good places to meet like minded adults.

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Nogoodnamesleft

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Canaduh
Sorry, I reread my post and I didn’t mean to sound like such a downer.

The yoga class is a good idea - even better with the suggestion to find a spot in the front row. Better them looking at you than someone feeling uncomfortable if you look at them. I always chose somewhere near the back because I was too embarrassed of myself to be up front, but in retrospect that was probably the worst decision.

My biggest problem with yoga was crying. Getting too in touch with my inner self after what happened in 2017 was a bad idea in public. A class of 25 or 30 people and the only guy sobbing like a baby was moi.

Honestly, good luck. And please share any tips you find along the way. I could use a little optimism.
 

sudogeek

Tele-Holic
Joined
Sep 9, 2016
Posts
606
Location
Palm Beach FL
Go to a bar, meet a drinker. Go on the internet, meet a troll or scammer. Not always but the odds are not in your favor.

Many other options. I’m not looking - been married many years. But, I’ve met nice women as a volunteer in the hospital and thrift shops, working in a library and the local state college, and as an election worker. I’ve also met people outside of my small group of friends at book and film clubs, meetings for political and environmental causes, and community development groups. I would guess most good matches are friends of a friend. Get out, host a few dinners/parties, get invited to a few, and put the word out among your friends and acquaintances.
 

El Marin

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Joined
Mar 19, 2014
Posts
3,106
Location
Madrid, Spain. Center of the world
1- So where to find a decent-looking woman between say 56 and 63?
Go out, they are there


2-I don’t go to bars but I don’t do church either.
Go to bars then.


3-I was a member of several Meetups but a lot of them folded a year or two ago. That basically leaves online dating sites. (I refuse to do anything on Facebook or Twitter even if they had some sort of dating thing). I tried Match a few years back with mixed success but don’t want to pay their subscription fees again. There’s Bumble, Tinder, OKCupid, and Plenty of Fish as freebies, but it seems the men-to-women ratio is not in my favor.
Is start, but bars are there


4-Note that I’m not a “player”—
So be it


5-I just want to date one decent woman, one that’s not too crazy and looks good.
No, decent no. You need some spice in it


6-Am I missing any other possibilities?
YES, go to bars, play cheer up later with girls, get numbers, give your number



7-I get frustrated: folks tell me I’m a good-lucking guy and nice, so according to them I should have a line of gals knocking on my door! Nope. Suggestions?
Don't be frustrated... GO OUT!!! Do something!!!
 

nojazzhere

Doctor of Teleocity
Ad Free Member
Joined
Feb 3, 2017
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Age
71
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Foat Wuth, Texas
Many of the replies have advice that remind me of an old Monty Python sketch. Saying things like, "Just go out and do it!" doesn't really have any meaning......not that I expect dating wisdom on a guitar forum. :):):)
 

Spox

Tele-Holic
Joined
Aug 28, 2015
Posts
670
Location
Racoon City
I've been internet dating for the last twelve years and it has been interesting. I have had two of the women tell me that because I no longer partake of drugs that it would not work between us, one of them showed up high for all three of the dates we had. Apart from those two I have had dates with a recovering coke addict who went to the toilet every fifteen minutes and came out gibbering and a recovering alcoholic who had three pints of Guiness with the pizza, she was actually a really nice soul, an ex cop and something had clearly happened to her on the job which sent her sideways. The one date I went on this year was with a horrible old crone who burned me for money and who I think may have actually been doing this on the site on a professional basis as in meeting guys and burning them for money, it did not involve any hanky panky.

As a last resort I would suggest just waiting outside a womens prison but things have changed with regard to who's coming out.
 

Kandinskyesque

Friend of Leo's
Joined
Dec 6, 2021
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Scotland
A good friend of mine over on Glasgow's south side had been date free for years until about 10 years ago when a health problem curtailed his working hours.

In an attempt to get his health on a more even keel, he got himself a nice dog and started going to the public parks in the area.
Glasgow, the south side in particular, has one of the highest proportions of public green spaces to urban areas of any city in Europe.

He's not been short on dates since, in fact he tells me his dog has been a better wing man than I ever was when we were young.
 

Nogoodnamesleft

Tele-Afflicted
Joined
Aug 19, 2020
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Canaduh
This quote has remained in my mind since I read the article. All too relatable.

"For all the talk of ease that a dating app allows for a potential date, the impression I’m left with is everyone swimming in a pool they all took a dump in. Instead of shocking the water and getting out, everyone decided they need to keep swimming in the sewage — perhaps even adding to it — because that pool is where people swim." - Benjamin Sledge

The article, if anyone is interested:

https://blog.heartsupport.com/welcome-to-the-world-of-post-apocalyptic-dating-7e13e9f55ded
 

Big_Ger

Tele-Meister
Joined
Dec 21, 2014
Posts
159
Location
UK
Just get out of the house and meet people, you've just got to kiss a lot of frogs. No doubt your perfect woman is on another forum asking for similar advice... we've all got the same problem :)
Good luck
 

wrathfuldeity

Friend of Leo's
Joined
Apr 25, 2011
Posts
2,096
Location
Turdcaster, WA
It's not only where you go, hang out, or the activity. You got to interact. It's called flirting, banter and tease. Do it everywhere and every time you see any woman..., young, old, mom, hot or not. At first it might seem a bit weird, but don't focus on the outcome, just the process of the conversation to make a friendly emotional connection. The communication trick, is to simply ask them a question, then take an active interest by listening what they are saying... followed up with a question of the last 3 words they just said. Just strike up any conversation ask them questions about themselves.

Then after a few minutes 5-10 minutes max, say "hey I got to go... give me your number and let's do coffee at a specific time, date and place" (don't ask, state). She will say yes or no or note a time she is available. Hand her your phone, she puts her number in and then immediately call her while she is standing there...so you know there is a connect. If she says she has a boyfriend... "bring him along... I have some questions to ask him about you (and smirk).
 
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