Good points, all. The “Sea Urchin” was actually strike 3. I had already dismissed 2 nearly sure-fire dealbreakers for me;Hahahahahahahahahaha!
I certainly get the specs issue, I'm not bothered by that particular spec and also note that it is easy to change! Revulsion is involuntary though and we can't change what we find repulsive!
One spec I decided to change about myself at age 45, shopping for mate #17 at that point, was the concept of "my type".
It's a common idea that we all have a type we like, prefer, are attracted to etc.
Usually our "type" is a set of physical specs.
I had numerous relationships based on my type, and adequate compatibility in terms of able to have fun together etc.
But I was thinking that when each relationship went wrong, the problems were never in my set of specs I chose my romances based on.
So it seems that there are other "specs" besides physical attraction that are critical to a LTR!
But I can't say I know how to determine the soul specs or mind specs or spirit specs that will get me the LTR I seek?
One thing I can say is a scientific fact is that if I reject all gals whose physical specs don't match my specs list, I may miss the winners whose soul and spirit specs really suit OUR compatibility.
A more complicated factor is that we all change as the years pass and we learn, grow, get tired of things we used to like etc.
The last problem and one I had identified much earlier in my dating years, is that we tend to try to be somehow more better when on the hunt for a mate.
Gals probably do the same, so for the first days weeks months and maybe even years, we might be presenting a spruced up version of ourselves, which gets tiring!
I'm kind of a nut, kind of too funny at times, way too serious and even overly moralistic at times, etc etc etc.
Before I decided to stop shopping for a type, I decided to stop trying to BE a better version of myself.
Put another way: repeating the same behavior expecting different results, is the definition of insanity!
A) I found her VERY physically attractive (WARNING!)
B) Tie-dye clothing article.