Dating in your 30’s

[Happy Enchilada]

My dad used to tell me women are like streetcars: Stand on the corner for five minutes and another one will come along. To which I responded "WTF is a streetcar?"

I told my boys that marriage is a rodeo. You either draw a good animal or you don't. If you get bucked off, spit out a few teeth, dust yourself off, get back in the saddle, and try to not make the same dumb mistakes next time. I know this because I got bucked off the first time.

I knew Mrs. Enchilada was the one for me because of how she played Monopoly one night when we were dating. You can tell a lot about someone from Monopoly: How they handle money, how fair they are in their dealings with others, and how much they care about winning. She checked all the boxes.

 

[Quexoz]

My wife divorced me when I was 36. Just wait. It’s a hoot.

In 14 years I’ve been in a few relationships. Of that 14 years maybe collectively I‘ve been in relationships for 3 of them. We all have baggage. Sometimes it‘s a few small pieces of Louis Vuitton, others it’s a seacan full of garbage bags.

The longest was with a girl 2 years younger than me, just like my ex wife. Train wreck isn’t a term I use lightly and it took a while to see just how toxic things had become. But sweet mother of pearl - thank goodness that ended. I wish it had been sooner.

The shortest was a week. I liked the efficiency of that one. She dumped me by text while she was hosting her karaoke night to go home with someone else.

The most damaging was in 2017. But I’ve written about that before. I’ve been single since then.

Very early in my newly found singlehood, my first girlfriend was a gal about 6 years younger who lived in another city. One day I drove about 100 miles to surprise her with flowers. When I called her the first words out of her mouth were “Where are you?” After her rage settled she met me in a parking lot to take the flowers. It all became clearer later on when she confessed she was living with a guy. I guess I was mister good times behind the scenes. That hurt a lot and was quite the intro to dating in my 30s.

All I can say is keep an open mind about the age thing. Of all the traits we have, the one we have the least control over is the number of candles on a birthday cake. At 50 I don’t really expect to have anyone knocking at my door, other than a neighbour to complain about the racket. But if someone came along and we were compatible in every other respect, I’d be open to it. Younger or older. Actually there’s a lady I’ve gone for dinner with a few times who is in her late 50s. I find her super attractive but she’s already made it clear I’m too young for her. I guess it’s nice to be too young for something.

As I was reading this, I had to check a few times to make sure I didn't write it and forget I had. The numbers are a bit different, but the story is the same. The words were, from somewhere in the apartment, "Who the F is that?!?". And her peeking through a crack in the door, "You can't come here". Me: "I see. Hope he's the jealous type". Hopped on my motorcycle and rode away.

 

[Les H]

I was married in my early 20s and divorced at 28-29. I started a band at that same time and my 30s were a lot of fun! Playing in a band brought the women to me. Some ended up being really good friends and others came with additional benefits! I know for a fact I would've never met any of them without a guitar in my hand. Having been married early I was "sowing my wild oats" so to say.

I eventually met my current wife when I was 37 but not through my guitar. I eventually wanted to date someone whose phone number wasn't laid at my feet at a gig or that followed me out to the car when I was loading up my gear.

 

[Alcohen]

Joining in just to point out that this is a guitar forum for players of all genders, not a forum for some men to vent their spleen about women they've known and extrapolate from that to shade women in general. This is a community very supportive of its members, including those who might want advice on how to meet people, but some people have gone way beyond that here. Posts that undermine support for some of our members based on their gender have no place here, IMHO.

 

[Chester P Squier]

View attachment 938464

DFB1, both of my parents were well past 30 when they married each other. And it was the first and only marriage of either of them.

If they were both still alive, they would be will over 100 years old.

 

[Quexoz]

Joining in just to point out that this is a guitar forum for players of all genders, not a forum for some men to vent their spleen about women they've known and extrapolate from that to shade women in general. This is a community very supportive of its members, including those who might want advice on how to meet people, but some people have gone way beyond that here. Posts that undermine support for some of our members based on their gender have no place here, IMHO.

Well, posts not about guitars at least, if not Telecasters, probably don't belong, but here we are. I would not complain if the ladies joined in to tell us the horrors of men in general too.

 

[WalthamMoosical]

I would not complain if the ladies joined in to tell us the horrors of men in general too.

That's the only reason I'm still reading.

 

[GGardner]

I knew Mrs. Enchilada was the one for me because of how she played Monopoly one night when we were dating. You can tell a lot about someone from Monopoly: How they handle money, how fair they are in their dealings with others, and how much they care about winning. She checked all the boxes.

The person I married bears no resemblance to the person I dated. For years while we were dating, she was incredibly easy-going and would always laugh and say, "I really couldn't care less. Whatever you think is perfect by me." I'd say, "I was thinking we could do" X. And she'd laugh and say, "Sure. Sounds good." I told that to my kid and he laughed so hard he almost choked. "Mom said that?!" he asked. Sigh.

 

[Twofingerlou]

I’ve been busy today and just catching up on the post, thanks for all the reply’s even though some of it might have taken a wrong turn here or there lol

 

[1293]

hey, it is okay to be a horn dog.

My father died when I was eight. My mother raised me under different rules. My dad was friends with my mother's oldest brother. He was 6 years older. She was 12 when my dad enlisted in WWII. She told my grandmother she was going to marry him when he came back from the war. My grandmother said "that's nice, dear".

 

[1293]

This thread is disturbing.

 

[telemnemonics]

No surprise that on a Telecaster forum, young guy asks for dating advice and the results play out very much like a classic Country song.

 

[getbent]

My father died when I was eight. My mother raised me under different rules. My dad was friends with my mother's oldest brother. He was 6 years older. She was 12 when my dad enlisted in WWII. She told my grandmother she was going to marry him when he came back from the war. My grandmother said "that's nice, dear".

I know humor is difficult, but surely you can tell I was kidding him....

Humorless people just don't have as much fun.

 

[telemnemonics]

This is the most depressing thread. Kinda like NextDoor, you think everything is great until you start reading other’s posts.

As for this being THE most depressing thread?
It's a reissue of a thread we have regularly.
Not really better or worse or even different from the former incarnations.
Like reading multiple authors books about the Civil War.

 

[johnDH]

I'm happily married pre-internet But, my close friend found love at age about 40. He's a British Sikh, respectful of his family and religion but wanted to break out. His first arranged marriage did not work. His current wife is from Serbia. They are happy and in love and have a daughter now.

So that was all through eHarmony. On paper they have little in common, and would never have met anyone like each other. But it seems to work really well!

 

[1293]

I know humor is difficult, but surely you can tell I was kidding him....

Humorless people just don't have as much fun.

I survive on humor.

 

[ReverendRevolver]

This thread has gone longer than a rosewood v. maple debate.

Look, there's been some good and bad advice on here.

If you have worked on bettering yourself, the outlook is better than if you hadn't. Everything else is highly circumstantial. You're my age. 20 somethings are still an option. Ten years the other way are too. I've seen things work out great for people who weren't looking. I have an acquaintance who who found someone he aligns with perfectly on Eharmormy when he was in his 40s. And she was a quite attractive Ukrainian lady already in the US for college. She was also about 10 younger than him. Theyve been happily married for roughly 12 years now.

Everyone has baggage. Everyone is crazy. Find the degrees of each you're comfortable with.

 

[Thoughtfree]

The President of France, Emmanuel Macron, is 44 years old.

His wife, Brigitte Macron, is 68 years old.

I admire them for this.

 

[Flakey]

It will pass. Get a good dog and you'll be better off in the long run.

 

[BigDaddyLH]

It will pass. Get a good dog and you'll be better off in the long run.

Well, she's quite young and has a tendency to bite -- oh, sorry, wrong thread.