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Dating in Middle Age. Any Tips, Stories, or Warnings?

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by cometazzi, Feb 1, 2021.

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  1. Guitardvark

    Guitardvark Tele-Afflicted Platinum Supporter

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    I joined the Orchid society and was surrounded by hotties with porta potties, and gummy mummies. :)
     
  2. Jakedog

    Jakedog Telefied Ad Free Member

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    I haven’t read the thread, and don’t have anything constructive to add. I haven’t dated since 1996, and I hope I never do again.

    But... I was scanning down the page quickly and thought the title of this thread was “Dating in middle earth”. I was like “so she’s short and has hairy feet?”.
     
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  3. dwh100

    dwh100 Tele-Meister

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    Take up yoga!
     
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  4. sax4blues

    sax4blues Friend of Leo's

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    Forget younger women—they’re overseas men.
     
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  5. brookdalebill

    brookdalebill Tele Axpert Ad Free Member

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    Buena suerte, amigo!
     
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  6. JRicoC

    JRicoC Tele-Meister

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    I've been married for 28 years, but I've always had great relationships with women. I think the key to it is I don't look for female versions of myself, nor would I if I were dating. There are tons, tons, of great people in the world, but you have to start by expanding your pool.

    If you are into thin women, try talking to thick women. If you're a Protestant, get to know a Catholic. If you're into professionals, talk to service-industry folks. If you're Asian, get to know a latina. If you're a guitarist, talk to a marathoner.

    You get the point. There are plenty of fish in the sea, but you need to realize that the sea is really big ...
     
  7. cnlbb

    cnlbb Tele-Afflicted

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    Ugh... I have a strange feeling that neither do you. But that tends to happen when most of the information guys get about women is from other guys.


    My advice, get out there and be careful. Make sure you're both physically and emotionally comfortable with wherever things are going and try to get less advice from a guitar message board and more from your own reactions to the people you're meeting. The one thing that hasn't changed is that it's still a big world out there with all types of people that can do everything from surprise to infuriate. Don't take it personally, you can cause all those things too depending on the person. Good luck and have fun. :D
     
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  8. Peegoo

    Peegoo Poster Extraordinaire

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    You have to put yourself out there. Once restrictions ease up, of course.

    The bar scene is a wasteland, and dating sites are often inhabited by men and women that enjoy The Game but are not searching for a meaningful relationship.

    If you're a church person, get involved there because that is one thing you know you'll have in common with others in the group.

    Get involved in the local community to make it a better place to live. You will meet other like-minded people. Volunteer at a local library. Get involved with Habitat for Humanity. There are lots of volunteer opportunities everywhere.

    One important thing you have to do is be happy being you. Other people pick up on that and it makes them want to be around you.

    There are lots of single women in all age groups, and there are lots of smart ones out there that have been dealing with the situation you're dealing with. There are also plenty of women that have been mistreated by men and they have trust issues as a result. Don't chase it too hard; you have to earn it. Just be nice and things start to happen.

    Good luck!
     
  9. The Angle

    The Angle Tele-Holic

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    When I got back into dating in my late '40s, I learned that if
    1. you have a job and you're not deep in debt,
    2. you've taken halfway decent care of yourself physically,
    3. you're not an emotional wreck or a baby, and
    4. you're willing to date women your own age,
    those four factors make you something of a hot item. I suppose they probably make any man of any age a hot item, but I was too stupid to see it the first time around.
     
  10. 1955

    1955 Doctor of Teleocity

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    Two types of guys you should listen to: the ones who lost their butts when things didn’t work out, and the ones who are happily married.
     
    Last edited: Feb 1, 2021
  11. davidge1

    davidge1 Friend of Leo's

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    I always looked for someone who's interests or tastes complimented mine. They don't have to be the *same* interests, but things I could relate to and enjoy. You may think you're only real interest is music, but there are probably a great many things you could enjoy, especially if you're doing them with someone else. With me, for example, I can broaden my interest in music to a broader interest in the arts. A woman who's interested in any of the arts would probably be someone I could find some common ground with.
     
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  12. imwjl

    imwjl Poster Extraordinaire

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    @cometazzi if you're in WI and especially Madison area, mountain biking's got both those beat.

    Do some volunteering. That really decreases your chance of meeting selfish jerks.
     
  13. MAXXFIELD

    MAXXFIELD Tele-Meister

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    Beware of dating apps. If you use them make first dates cheap like coffee... I know many female friends who actively use dating apps as a free meal plan and endless attention. At least thats what they told me.
     
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  14. EsquireOK

    EsquireOK Poster Extraordinaire

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    You asked for a tip, so here it is:

    Don't let yer meat loaf.
     
  15. Torren61

    Torren61 Poster Extraordinaire Gold Supporter

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    I really wish I could tell the story...
     
  16. Larry F

    Larry F Doctor of Teleocity Vendor Member

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    I remember a story that goes like this:

    Asked for advice on taking things to the next level, some older guy told some younger guy what to do. Which was this: "after a date, you should drive to a pharmacy and tell her you're going to get some protection. When you return to the car, she'll either still be there or not."
     
  17. raito

    raito Poster Extraordinaire

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    I only dated women from 19 to 25 when I was 17 to 38. Been with the same one 21 years. Here's my advice.

    1. Know who you are.
    2. Know what you're looking for.
    3. Do not start a new activity to meet people. Only start activities because you enjoy them.
    4. If at any time you figure out she's not what you're looking for, cut it off. Anything else wastes time.
    5. Do not compromise on what you want. You will regret it.
     
  18. Aftermath

    Aftermath TDPRI Member

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    probably not.
     
  19. drmordo

    drmordo Tele-Afflicted

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    How about the ones who were happily married for 25 years before they lost their butts?

    That would be me...
     
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  20. PastorJay

    PastorJay Friend of Leo's

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    I can only tell you stories from the perspective of someone who was widowed after 32 years of being married to a wonderful woman who bought me guitars and amps. :)

    A little over 6 months after my wife died, friends started trying to set me up.

    A good friend tried to convince me I should go out with his wife's best friend, who I had met a few times.

    She's gorgeous, and we like some of the same music, but I'm pretty sure we could have talked about everything we have in common over lunch at Del Taco.

    Another friend badgered me into meeting a mutual friend who's also widowed. I eventually agreed to meet her to get my friend off my back.

    3 and a half years later--she's also given my gear for my birthday. We have a lot in common, and she's gorgeous, funny and smart (which is not what we have in common).

    She's a great friend, but we're not "dating" anymore, whatever exactly that would mean at our age, because it helps if you'd both like to get married. :)



    Here's some maybe good advice:
    Start with coffee or at most lunch
    See what it's like to talk with her in a no-pressure environment
    Be yourself
    Be honest
    Be a good communicator (I'd add this to what someone said above about being a decent human being with a job is a good start)
    Don't be in a hurry to meet someone or move to whatever you think is the "next level" in a relationship


    Your best sources to meet someone are probably mutual friends or single women you already know who might be interested and have something in common with you.
    My friend who wanted me to go out with his wife's friend--he and his wife had known each other for years when he invited over to his place to "catch up" and then he made her dinner. it worked out pretty well for them.

    Good luck.
     
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