Considering Retirement

Discussion in 'Worship Service Players' started by Tele-beeb, Jul 28, 2021.

  1. Tele-beeb

    Tele-beeb Friend of Leo's

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    I’m the OG…
    I’m the guy that (twelve years ago) the young bucks were wow’ed and inspired to go farther by.
    I’m the guy who pushed to make church music as good as a decent club… not falling back on “we’re a church band, so we can suck”…
    I’m tired of the struggle. I’m still the OG and it’s heavy.
    I offered to WL free, and was turned down for a seemingly political hire for $ that can’t even play a B, so I’m jaded.
    I am looking to retire, or trade Sundays with the seemingly “political walk-on” inept keys player.
    I’m tired of the struggle… they win.
     
    Jim W, Deeve, Grenville and 1 other person like this.
  2. hotraman

    hotraman Tele-Afflicted

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    Sorry that you are going through this.

    A lot of my older worship leader friends have experienced "being aged out."
    I was forced out of my full time worship pastor position, where they took my salary and divided it among three younger WL"s.
    But.. some 12 years later, I am busier than ever.
    At 64, I've been open to playing at other churches in my area, mostly for free. Sometimes there is a stipend.
    Lately Ive been the main worship leader at a Tuesday night Recovery service.
    Its been awesome to sing / lead. And I started working on my pedal and lap steel playing.
    There are not too many players in our area who play Sunday mornings. But I do.
    July was my busiest month ever, with 15 services ( two on Sundays, a few on Saturday nights )
    And Im blessed to be able to play lead / lap steel on the Compassion To Action rally ( Friday and Sat nights). I will be the oldest band member by 20 years. I'm ok with that.
    I'm still learning from the young bucks, and they often seek my advice and counsel.

    OP.. maybe you need a different church / ministry to play for.
    Jesus will bring opportunities to you, if you are open and available.
     
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  3. Tele-beeb

    Tele-beeb Friend of Leo's

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    thanks for the encouraging words hotraman. I am working through my next step virtually.
    I sincerely hope and pray the best for my church, but I fear they are led by wolves. If I disconnect, I will be tapping out rather than calling them out. I haven’t felt led to that… it would be me (alone) against friend and foe
     
  4. hotraman

    hotraman Tele-Afflicted

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    One of my students ( I am a private music instructor ) is going through the same situation at his small church. Older pastor in his late 70's, who should have retired. He and his wife decided to leave the small church ( 25 people) Too much drama for him.
     
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  5. dougstrum

    dougstrum Friend of Leo's

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    Sorry to here of your discouragement. My wife likes to say change is hard, and of course she's right:rolleyes:
    Sometimes we make changes for discernable reasons, at others God seemingly pushes us into changing. When I'm in a situation like yours I think He's trying to teach me something. Often with hindsight I find that a change was needed and is even good.
    Hopefully you will find a way to use the gifts God has given you, and also feel his comfort as you work through this time.
     
  6. hotraman

    hotraman Tele-Afflicted

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    This 100%
     
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  7. elihu

    elihu Poster Extraordinaire

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    .
     
    Last edited: Jul 29, 2021
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  8. Chester P Squier

    Chester P Squier Tele-Afflicted

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    Maybe it's a positive sign that someone named
    "Elihu" showed up. A good omen, if you will.
     
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  9. GoldieLocks

    GoldieLocks Tele-Afflicted

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    I hear ya.

    I'm barely motivated to find another church to play in. I'm having more fun and success playing in my recording studio in the basement. The only soundman I have to argue with is ME: ... we argue a lot.
     
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  10. Tele-beeb

    Tele-beeb Friend of Leo's

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    I’m there, on my couch… taking a pedal at a time and exploring, covering and creating. Gotta have an artistic outlet. If some of us were together in a Worship Band setting, could we blaze some youth events and flatbeds. Wow!
     
  11. elihu

    elihu Poster Extraordinaire

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    Thanks but after reflection I decided on silence. It was the best part of what Job’s other three friends offered. Prayers for you OP.
     
  12. studio

    studio Poster Extraordinaire

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    I like to hear positive messages from you.
    Like this one above.

    Keep on truckin!
     
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  13. dougstrum

    dougstrum Friend of Leo's

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    Have blazed many a flatbed~down the road,
    as well as on the back out in a field by the river!

    Fun either way:cool:
     
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  14. ravindave_3600

    ravindave_3600 Friend of Leo's

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    Sorry you're going through disappointment and disillusionment. Many of us have been where you are. I won't give a lot of advice but act wisely, do good, love others, do humility. Path to success.
     
    dougstrum, elihu, Deeve and 1 other person like this.
  15. Deeve

    Deeve Poster Extraordinaire Silver Supporter

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    Oddly enough, when I struggle w/ decisions of congregants or pastor, I've been "comforted" by reading from some church mgmt books written in the mid-late 19th century. (Thanks, Google e-books. . .)

    The sh#t never changes.
    Even if they weren't struggling w/ an amp-less stage or in-ear monitors (of which my micro church has neither) there were soloists who took themselves a bit too seriously, and traditionalists who thought the building's gonna fall in on itself if a "new" hymn was used, as described in the book - more than a hundred years ago. "Political " decisions abound, regardless of what century we're in.

    Sure, I'm disappointed about some (many?) ill-considered decisions at my church, but when I look back behind me and don't see anybody, I have to accept that I'm not "leading" anybody, so it's time for me to either cool my jets or pack my bag.
    Still haven't figured out which choice (leave or stay) makes better sense.

    Yes, it hurts to not feel valued.
    I get that - more than I'd like.
    Still trying to discern what lesson is in it for me.
    I hope op figures it out, too.

    Peace - Deeve
     
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  16. GoldieLocks

    GoldieLocks Tele-Afflicted

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    I have seen many churches go from 75 musicians... down to 2.

    Yep, churches should never get too comfortable bossing musicians around. And i've seen soundmen drive many musicians from the mix.
    But mostly (and churches should realize this): musicians are fickle people by nature --- just following the wind of inspiration.

    My wife and I have always tried to stay a few years at each church: and we've continually watched Pastors and board members almost worship NEW MUSICIANS... who quickly move on when the real work starts.

    My wife is a good solid, rather quiet, 15 year veteran drummer (*yes, we did a lot of restaurant gigs). She constantly gets demoted so the new hotshot thumpers can fill the slots. We watched our last church go from 5 drummers down to ZERO... my wife laughs when they beg her to play. They haven't had a drummer for weeks. Too bad!
     
  17. budglo

    budglo Tele-Meister

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    Well I’m almost 63 , so I’m sure my days are numbered. I just came back from a 5 year hiatus . Got tired of the crap ,’so I needed a break. I was content just working on new stuff at home , did a few open mics . Started going to a church that one of my former WL attended at his prodding. He and I always clicked . They didn’t have a lead player , so it’s working out for me , so far . Honestly , if something happened and I wasn’t doing worship anymore, I’d be disappointed , but I’ll be content just playing and creating on my own. Maybe find another church , I dunno.
     
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  18. Clouds84

    Clouds84 Tele-Meister

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    Join a smaller church. Sorry but I hate churches that go for 'professionals' over 'worship'. These churches typically make it look like a performance rather than worship.
     
  19. studio

    studio Poster Extraordinaire

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    The church I am currently attending has only
    2 musicians, a keyboard player and a drummer
    in a cage. Yet, there's an over abundance of singers
    each and every service. All trying to harmonize
    but not having the theory behind them to know
    what actual harmonic content really is.

    I so much wanted to join that band, because they
    need a guitarist/ extra musician well seasoned....

    But I really needed to fix the improper install of
    their main sound system first. sure I can get called
    on to do special outdoor services, set up correctly,
    but the main sanctuary has been an elusive thing.

    Tired of playing the waiting game.

    Just so you get an idea, the 18 inch sub woofer
    is hanging dead center in the center cluster of
    overhead speakers. An audio nightmare to mix in that space.
     
    Last edited: Aug 8, 2021
  20. Grenville

    Grenville TDPRI Member

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    I bowed out from my long time church music involvement 2.5 years ago.

    I made the 'mistake' of saying to the newly appointed (but a few years in our gatherings) WL "oh, I want to be onstage for that one", only to get a ten minute high volume lecture in response. Not a lecture about anything I'd actually said, basically a 'shut up and do what you're told' nevertheless.

    It confirmed my suspicions about which way the wind was blowing, so I took myself off the roster for a month, then changed that to "long service leave", then eventually just didn't get back on board at all.

    Decided I needed to take time out and find out what I was hungry for. And definitely glad to create a vacuum for others to step up.
     
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