Can openers-a menace to the entire human race

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by CNILE, May 13, 2015.

  1. pcolbeck

    pcolbeck TDPRI Member

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    You really are going to the wrong restaurants.
     
  2. tweeddeluxe

    tweeddeluxe Tele-Afflicted

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    [​IMG]

    This Swing-Away works like a charm every time...seriously...and will last 10+ years easily. Got mine at Ace. About $5 +/-
     
  3. Hellmark

    Hellmark Tele-Holic

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    When my wife and I moved in together, I actually did quite a bit of research on finding a decent can opener, because yeah, most are crap regardless of price. What I settled on, and what I've used without issue for the past 4 years is the OXO Good Grips can opener. Make sure if you get it, that you get the good grips version, as OXO has a few other can openers that don't always perform as well.

    And it hasn't been that long since Juice came in cans like that. That really only started being phased out in the 90s.
     
  4. don71

    don71 Tele-Afflicted

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    X2. This one has served us well, and does a good job.

    Swing-away.
     
  5. Bones

    Bones Telefied Ad Free Member

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    Ummmm, yeah, no........
     
  6. ASC67

    ASC67 Friend of Leo's

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    You can still get them made in US and are great quality

    http://madeinusaforever.com/canopezmainu.html
     
  7. boris bubbanov

    boris bubbanov Tele Axpert Ad Free Member

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    It is exactly that kind of problem.

    The made in USA can openers of 20 years ago were designed to open cans from American packing plants, and most worked well.

    Now, go to any new merchandise store and they insist you buy a Made in China opener. Which is simply never tested adequately on American cans. The sucker that make those openers, even if they did care, how would they know? Yeah, I know there's some overseas canned goods, but I avoid them.

    This means I can go to an Antique Mall and usually find a USA can opener for two dollars and it works well and works all the time. Just watch out, some Malls are getting overseas junk now and of all the household items, openers are near the top, for practical demand.
     
  8. R. Stratenstein

    R. Stratenstein Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

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    The venerable P-38, AKA John Wayne, Opener, hand, can, metal, folding, et al, et al, shares its designation with a WWII fighter plane and a Walther Pistol. I've wondered if there has ever been a mixup in what was delivered, vs. what was intended to be ordered.

    "Captain, we've got your order for 500 P-38's here, but Lockheed says they can't make more than 100 per month. Would some other airplane do?"

    "Airplane, AIRPLANE?, you *($^&%$, why would I order airplanes to open up my men's K-rats?"

    One of the two best things the US Army ever came up with. The other is the M1 Garand rifle.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
     
  9. Tommy Biggs

    Tommy Biggs Friend of Leo's

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    I'm going to hollywood-
    The Book of Eli (part II) Denzel has the last can opener. Gary Oldman reprises his role of evil war lord hoarding canned goods, and searching for the last P-38 can opener to lock in his monopoly position, thereby denying the world the can opener that would stave off world hunger!

    Seriously though - my can opener is 30 years old, I never have any issues with it.
     
  10. O.S.V.

    O.S.V. Tele-Meister

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    My sister in law views can openers as single-use items. These days, it's not far from the truth.

    I got her this one, and so far it's held up impressively.

    For quite a bit less money, this one has held up well for me for a few years now, which is pretty impressive.

    It's made by Swing-A-Way, which is the same brand that several people have recommended. The older household ones were great, but the newer ones just don't last very long at all. This one made for use in a commercial environment. It's about a dollar more, and it's built quite a bit better.
     
  11. Ragin Cajun

    Ragin Cajun Tele-Meister

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    AKA "The Church Key" Because it was most often used to open beer cans. You needed to have one tied to your ice chest, and one stuck to the refrigerator.
     
  12. boris bubbanov

    boris bubbanov Tele Axpert Ad Free Member

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    These things are vicious. Had a fellow from Alabama who invited his way into a whitewater trip we did up on Sand Mountain and he insisted he had to stop partway down the River and eat something. Didn't want to leave him on the rock and continue downriver without him and have him drown by himself so we waited. So next he opens a can of Vienna sausages and almost cuts his finger off with the sharp edge. We had to bandage him up and triage him down the river to where he could drive himself to the hospital. These "weapon" containers don't go on my extended trips. They're simply not worth the risk.
     
  13. TwangyWhammy

    TwangyWhammy Friend of Leo's

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    I had a spat of designer can openers (with cutting wheels) looks like the Swing-Away type that work for about a month then goes bung. I would buy another brand (with wheel, over $10 bucks) same thing. Very annoying.

    I have since reverted back to the old fashion cheapo openers that sell for about $1.50 and they work way better. They eventually stop working after about a year so I throw them away and get another.

    (Advanced life-skills 101: Lift the can off the bench while twirling the thingamajig). ;)

    [​IMG]
     
  14. flyswatter

    flyswatter Friend of Leo's

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    Just put them in the microwave and stand back.
     
  15. O.S.V.

    O.S.V. Tele-Meister

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    The can openers work a few times at best before the crappy metal deforms just enough to prevent the wheel from getting enough friction on the can to do its job. The pre-1990's Swing-A-Way can openers were good can openers. They've down-graded the materials in order to cut costs, and now they're basically useless.

    The one I linked to is made by the same company, it's <$7, and it's designed for commercial use, which means it's much much more rugged. I've gone through countless can openers of different makes and models, most last through a few cans at best.

    This one, I've had since 2012, and it's still as good as the day I got it. it's a good can opener. It's not designed to be cute or to go with the decor, it's designed to do its job in a demanding commercial environment, opening #10 cans, which are much bigger and stronger cans than the little 14 ounce cans that are typical of household usage.

    Of the many, many people who are fed up with trying to open cans with substandard can openers, every one of them has been thrilled with the commercial Swing-A-Way can opener.

    Just try the damn thing. It's $6.79.
     
  16. 24 track

    24 track Doctor of Teleocity Silver Supporter

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    this why we have starfrit, or ronco. or K-tel, where's Vince your goina love his nutz
     
  17. redstringuitar

    redstringuitar Poster Extraordinaire

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    Nothing wrong with those as long as you get the squeeze pressure right. Last for years.

    Aren't they can't openers when they're busted?
     
  18. O.S.V.

    O.S.V. Tele-Meister

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    Pretty good, pretty good. Not bad. ;)
     
  19. Bongocaster

    Bongocaster Friend of Leo's

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    Then there's all the jokes that go along with these.

    [​IMG]

    There were actually bottles and cans of thinner and other solvents that had bottle caps. All painters aren't alcoholics.;)
     
  20. TwangyWhammy

    TwangyWhammy Friend of Leo's

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    Haha, sure!

    And oh, I forgot to mention… all those "wheel type" designer can openers I bought - I bought them because they have a LIFETIME WARRANTY. So every time I unwrap the packaging I make sure I keep the receipt in a secure and special place just in case I have to make a replacement claim. Problem is, I can't remember where I've kept those damn receipts!

    For all I know, there's bound to be a small print in the packaging that clarifies that the lifetime aforementioned here is the lifetime of the can opener not mine.

    I can just see it now... when I 'kick the bucket,' my son inherits my Telecaster. Out of curiosity he opens the control plate to investigate the mods I've made - only to find - a whole bumch of can opener receipts shoved in there. Bewildered and not wanting to mess with the set-up, he shoves them back in and closes the control plate. He goes to my kitchen to make a coffee and is perplexed to find a cabinet full of can openers that don't work. He throws them away, not realising that he just threw away thousands of dollars worth of warranty loot!
     
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