Buddy says he's 40 & lonely....so I said:

[danielreid27]

Get into your hobbies or join a team or club or karate or church.
Buy a kayak & a mountain bike & enjoy your health while you still have it.

Women cost too much $$$ & want to control you or FIX you !!
Ask me how I know? (5 kids later!!!!!)
No kids is a financial saving too.

Buy a Harley or a HotRod & the chicks come running..
Just beware the gold-diggers & heart-breakers.
If your gay, well your Golden....

One more thing: NO BOOZE & NO DRUGS & NO GAMBLING...
they've ruined many a man...including me....for real !!!
Why do you think prisons & hell are jammed full?

I wish I was 40 again....66 now &getting grumpy
New camera, new suit....I'm too sexy for my hair...
Get out there & kick some A$$ !
Gone FISHIN',,,,,,

Rock 'til ya drop !

 

[Fretting out]

I don’t know if I’m wired differently or what but I have no desire for companionship right now and view short term companionship as mostly a hassle

Would it be nice? Sometimes….

But I’d rather be alone most the time

Maybe just haven’t found the right one yet, maybe never will… does that bother me? Not at this point

 

[DFB1]

I don’t know if I’m wired differently or what but I have no desire for companionship right now and view short term companionship as mostly a hassle

Would it be nice? Sometimes….

But I’d rather be alone most the time

Maybe just haven’t found the right one yet, maybe never will… does that bother me? Not at this point

I'm the same way.
I also have health issues,so why get into something now.
The women in my age range look pretty bad too.

 

[telemnemonics]

For every damn lonely fool theres another lonely fool thinkin nobody could possibly unnerstannem

Damn fool humans makin lists uh why we caint manage!
Stop listing the damned worries and speak yer damn peace til some damn fool says hey! Yer my kinda fool

The problem is speccin out and plannin to fail
Also choosing bodies instead of souls
My "type" has these specs
Yep!

 

[985plowboy]

He should learn to play guitar.

 

[catdaddy]

The heart is a lonely hunter. Just ask Carson McCullers.

 

[Kandinskyesque]

Sometimes folks just want to admit they're lonely and stop trying to run away from the feeling.

Just my experience; uncomfortable feelings like loneliness, sadness, regret, rejection etc lose their sting once I admit I'm feeling them, then sit with them for a while.
Therein lies the seeds of a solution as opposed to a fix.

Sometimes it's better that I admit them out loud to avoid lying to myself that only nice folks live in the neighbourhood that is in my head.

 

[brookdalebill]

I was 40 and homely, once.
Now I’m older.
Oh, lonely.
Never mind.

 

[suthol]

A guy I knew once said
" Dave, if men were born without balls we'd all be millionaires "

I think he may have been onto something right there

 

[buster poser]

Great “he man woman hater’s club” energy; is the idea that your friend can moralize about substances he doesn’t consume with other lonely maladjusted middle aged dudes, and about their cool hobbies? Sounds great

 

[Knows3Chords]

Not all women are money pits. Before I met my wife I let every dollar I made slip thru my hands. Had a heck of a lot of fun, but was always broke.

 

[Twang-ineer]

The core statement there is "he says he is lonely" .... well that is fixable, and romantic companionship is not always the answer. I took more than ten years away from romantic entanglements. Really did me a world of good. Getting social was the key, and yeah I got into all kinds of non-music hobby activities. I started a Meetup that I ran for a few years and met so many cool people through that (of course I did, it was my meetup driven by my interests) I also got heavy into photography which is a great group or solo way to kill time, travel and enjoy whatever you think is nature. I also did a lot of solo travel, or travel with someone that I met who also did not want romantic entanglements. BTW, LOTS of women do not want to date or look to the future, they just want to kill time, have some fun and then move on. So, single life can be 'not so lonely', robust and enjoyable. You just have to take charge of the situation.

 

[OlRedNeckHippy]

Lonely?

get a dog.

 

[blowtorch]

I don’t know if I’m wired differently or what but I have no desire for companionship right now and view short term companionship as mostly a hassle

Would it be nice? Sometimes….

But I’d rather be alone most the time

Maybe just haven’t found the right one yet, maybe never will… does that bother me? Not at this point

I've heard say that with some things, you're better off renting than owning

 

[Mike Eskimo]

Jeez you guys…

 

[Greggorios]

When we're younger a lot of our social lives are somewhat pre-made through family, school, churches, neighborhoods, etc. After our early twenties the momentum from those early years carries us for a little while but eventually things change. Social life at that point requires some effort and creativity on our part.

I think for those interested in finding others to spend time with or in building some new relationships there are 2 things that seem to work. Take some action to put yourself in social situations-classes, clubs, hobby groups, music, sports, outdoor stuff, etc. for which you have an interest. Drop specific expectations or preconceptions of the kind of people you'd like to meet and just enjoy a nice conversation here and there. For the romantically inclined stop hunting for Mr. or Ms. "Right", just enjoy a little company. One day you may wake up and find that you've found some folks who's company you enjoy.

I can be a bit of a hermit left to my own devices. It took me far too long to understand this but I'm glad I did.

 

[kuch]

my suggestion to your buddy would be: great time to look inside grasshoppa.....
find out who "you" really are

It seems that I "found" the right companion at the right time when I wasn't looking.....

 

[getbent]

I guess it makes me wonder, does he want to resolve his loneliness or just distract himself from feeling lonely? The remedies folks usually offer are ways to busy idle hands.

What is the nature of loneliness?
"Loneliness is an unpleasant emotional response to perceived isolation. Loneliness is also described as social pain – a psychological mechanism which motivates individuals to seek social connections. It is often associated with an unwanted lack of connection and intimacy. Loneliness overlaps and yet is distinct from solitude. Solitude is simply the state of being apart from others; not everyone who experiences solitude feels lonely. As a subjective emotion, loneliness can be felt even when a person is surrounded by other people."

I guess it would be helpful to hear from your friend what his loneliness is like.... From there, he can explore what is missing and what he needs.

I'm all for 'good habits' and making sure a person is doing 'self care' but, just filling a pothole (even with high quality, high cost goods) won't keep it from returning, fixing a pothole 'for good' requires determining what caused it, removing detritus, setting the foundation right, then fill it with the right stuff (often easy to find and prep) and smoothing and sealing it with the rest of the fabric of the road.

I'd suggest working with your friend to explore more about the nature of his loneliness so that we could help him discover what he is working on specifically.

 

[Preacher]

For every damn lonely fool theres another lonely fool thinkin nobody could possibly unnerstannem

Damn fool humans makin lists uh why we caint manage!
Stop listing the damned worries and speak yer damn peace til some damn fool says hey! Yer my kinda fool

The problem is speccin out and plannin to fail
Also choosing bodies instead of souls
My "type" has these specs
Yep!

as I read this I thought that Ol' Fuzzy was back!

 

[ndcaster]

pick up part-time work in a highly social environment