Brush Your Teeth Like a Brass Player

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by Larry F, Sep 21, 2019.

  1. Larry F

    Larry F Doctor of Teleocity Vendor Member

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    Teaching in a conservatory type of school of music, meant that there was at least one teacher per instrument in the orchestra.

    In my old building, I availed myself of a restroom that was frequented by brass and wind players. It was sometimes quite the scene after lunch, when 2-3 guys would be brushing and foaming like made. And they kept going. They would even spit and rinse, then put more toothpaste on the brush. The foaming was like rabid dogs. But of course, these guys were protecting their embouchures and bone loss prevention is the name of the game.

    Don't know why, but the phrase popped into my head, "Brush your teeth like a brass player." That would be a "clever" way to say to brush really, really well. But "like a brass player" gives the act a sense of urgency or survival, since once those teeth go, so goes the career. (OK, some really interesting exceptions, the most notable being Chet Baker.)

    Surely there are other expressions like this: "Change your tire like ____," "Park your car like ____," "Party like _____," "Solder like a _____," "Make love like a _____," etc.

    Since I am obviously bored, any attempts to chime in and be funny/philosophical will be much appreciated on my end.
     
  2. SecretSquirrel

    SecretSquirrel Friend of Leo's Ad Free Member

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    I started on trumpet! They also don't want to be blowing bits of breakfast into their horn! :eek:

    Good point about teeth & bones—I can't play trumpet since I got dentures, can't get the pressure against the lips/teeth...maybe if I superglued 'em in... :lol:
     
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  3. Jackroadkill

    Jackroadkill Tele-Meister

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    Make love like a trip hammer?
     
  4. Harry Styron

    Harry Styron Tele-Afflicted Silver Supporter

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    This ain’t easy.

    My dad said, “She would love you like a widow woman.”

    Lots of these have syntactical errors, but are understandable, such as “he beat me like a rented mule,” which isn’t musical, unlike “beat me, daddy, eight to the bar.”

    “Wound as tight as an oboe reed.”

    “She squeezed me like a ligature.”


    There’s the old joke, in which the woman says that of all the orchestra members, the French horn player knew best how to hold her.
     
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  5. ponce

    ponce Tele-Holic

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    I'm a dentist by profession, by the way no PRS owner:D, and I believe brass players could be even more afraid of loosing their front teeth more than us common humans. It's kind of like the angst of a guitar player that operates a circular saw on a daily basis.

    Funny thing I remember mentioned by a prof at the Uni - lead pellets from the hunters shot trapped in the meat of the wild, being responsible for the tooth cracks when bitten on them. Soft enough for the periodontal proprioceptors not to alarm the reflexes, but devastating on the dentine structure leading to a so called 'greenstick fracture'.:confused:

    Sorry for my world (pidgin) English - it's a work in progress.:p
     
    Last edited: Sep 21, 2019
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  6. urbandefault

    urbandefault Tele-Meister

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    Brass instruments get nasty. Especially the school-owned low brass. Yuck.

    In the mid 70s we moved to another town, and the school horn I was assigned was so bad that I can still smell the grunge.

    First I talked my parents into buying a mouthpiece so I didn't have to use the nasty one in the case, and a few months later got them to buy me a new Yamaha euphonium. I don't remember what it cost then, but I was surprised at the price now. It was a great horn and served me well for years.

    Next was a Martin Urbie Green model tenor trombone. Minimal, no trigger. Lightweight and easy to play. It was a dream. I had the signature Jet Tone mouthpiece too.

    Anyway, it's good to hear that horn players are conscious of their mouth health. When I was coming up the horns would smoke and drink and play all night. A bunch still do.
     
  7. telestratosonic

    telestratosonic Tele-Afflicted Silver Supporter

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    I'm also a saxophone player. I never play unless I've brushed, rinsed, flossed, and rinsed.
     
  8. Bill

    Bill Poster Extraordinaire Ad Free Member

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    I wish the guitarist’s I know would do that.
     
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  9. johnny k

    johnny k Friend of Leo's

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    brush your teeth like that guy, with the raspy voice !

    [​IMG]
     
  10. WingedWords

    WingedWords Tele-Holic Silver Supporter

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    I know John Coltrane suffered dreadfully with his bad teeth. And that's about all I do know on the subject!
     
  11. trouserpress

    trouserpress Tele-Holic

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    "Fight like (a) Guppy"
     
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