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Breakup :-(

Discussion in 'Band Wagon' started by LGOberean, Nov 26, 2013.

  1. LGOberean

    LGOberean Doctor of Teleocity

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    Yeah, my duo is broken up. :cry: Worse still, it has probably broken up friendships that have lasted almost 10 years. :cry:

    The reason for the split has to do with events and relationships outside of the duo itself, and these events go back about 3 weeks. I'm just now feeling up to posting about it, but even so I'm not sure how much I want to say.

    I go back and forth from anger to sadness, so I may yet do some venting about this. If I do, I apologize in advance for using this forum to vent.

    But right now I'm just expressing the sadness, the feelings of betrayal that I feel. I figured if there was any place where I could express this and find a sympathetic ear from others who've been through it too, it's here.
     
  2. 1955

    1955 Doctor of Teleocity

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    Sorry to hear, that's a tough one. We're here for you!
     
  3. Dingbat

    Dingbat Friend of Leo's

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    Sorry to hear that Larry, maybe playing some blues is in order.
     
  4. LGOberean

    LGOberean Doctor of Teleocity

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    Thanks, guys.

    And Dingbat, funny you should mention playing the Blues. I've been doing that very thing today. :cool:
     
  5. sequencepro

    sequencepro Tele-Meister

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    Hopefully time will take care of the conflict... I've played again with guys I never thought I'd even speak to again after a considerable cooling off (7 years).
    Time really does dull the sharp edge of anger.
     
  6. Flat6Driver

    Flat6Driver Friend of Leo's

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    Ouch, that sucks. You post about the duo a lot, so it must have meant a lot to you.
     
  7. w3stie

    w3stie Poster Extraordinaire

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    Wow, 10 years is like a marriage. It sounds from your post that it is irretrievable? So it may take some time for this to work through.
     
  8. RonS

    RonS Tele-Meister

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    Sorry to hear that Larry. I know that you really enjoyed the Duo. Hopefully maybe some time will help with the healing and things will work out in the end.

    Hope you and your family have a happy Thanksgiving.

    RonS
     
  9. Ricky D.

    Ricky D. Doctor of Teleocity

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    Good luck, Larry. One door closes, another opens.
     
  10. Hiker

    Hiker Poster Extraordinaire

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    Oh man, sorry to hear about your break. The blues playing (and visiting TDPRI) is good therapy.
     
  11. getbent

    getbent Telefied Silver Supporter

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    as the great fictional character Del Paxton said: bands come and bands go, it is the music that lasts, the playing... or something like that...

    a good friendship will come back.. keep playing find some new folks to pick with... it is hard (splits) but they come for reasons... let the reasons be and learn from them...

    I can feel the pain in your post, and you have all the good thoughts I can muster coming your way... it hurts when people let you down.
     
  12. String Tree

    String Tree Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

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    LGOberean

    That sucks!
    Hope all of you can keep the peace, salvage the good and, do what is best for all of you.

    ~ST
     
  13. nosuch

    nosuch Friend of Leo's

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    Sorry to hear that. Is there a chance to repair friendship and maybe musical partnership?
     
  14. LGOberean

    LGOberean Doctor of Teleocity

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    Thanks again, guys. Yeah, I've posted a number of times about this duo, it did mean a lot to me. We sounded good together. Jodie has a pretty voice, but even better than that is her ear. She's a natural with harmonies.

    The issue between us wasn't about our duo, but about a personal disagreement between my wife and me and Jodie and her husband Joe. The conflict in and of itself would have probably changed the nature of our relationship, and depending on how things played out (no pun intended :rolleyes:) I might have concluded that I no longer wanted to work with Jodie.

    But Jodie is the one that has already made that decision, even while we were supposedly trying to resolve our differences. Without discussing it with me first, Jodie went public at a venue we used to play on a monthly basis, and emailed me to inform me that she had "cancelled our engagements." I tried not to read too much into that, but then we got Facebook messages from friends asking what happened, that they had been informed by the proprietor that Jodie and I were not singing together anymore.

    Doug, I hope you're right. This is the first time I've gone through a relationship rift that broke up a band situation. I have of course dealt with relationship rifts before, and in one case in particular, after about a decade of "cooling off" a relationship was restored. It wasn't restored to what it originally was, but there came to be and there is now peace between us, even friendship. In Jodie's case, I guess we'll see.

    W3stie, I've been married more than 40 years, so to me a decade sounds like a good start. ;) But of course I get your point. And to be clear, the decade is the amount of time that Jodie and I have known each other. As for being a duo and performing together, that lasted about 2 years or so. At this juncture, I don't see how we'll ever be comfortable enough to harmonize together again. But never say never, right? As to how irretrievable it is, I guess we'll see.

    Oh, and thanks, Ron, and a happy Thanksgiving to you and yours as well. Say hello to Alice for me.

    Hiker, I agree...playing the Blues and hanging out here is just the tonic I need. I really appreciate the encouragement.

    getbent, I'm not sure anything short of disease or physical dismemberment could keep me from playing. Even before this circumstance, I've always said that guitar playing is cheaper than therapy.

    I do have another band, of sorts. We play a local retirement community. The facility is called Garden Estates, and since we've only played together at this venue, we refer to ourselves as the Garden Variety Band.

    This year, the band has gone through significant changes. Two members are residents of the place. One of them, Ed, used to sing with us, but health reasons now prevent him from doing anything more than periodic (and limited) participation. Dee, the other resident, plays the violin, but her health has also sidelined her.

    Another member, Priscilla, was diagnosed with cancer back in August, and she was recently undergoing treatment, but is currently in an isolation room at the hospital with a compromised immune system. Obviously, I haven't been able to visit her (which is so frustrating since the hospital she's in is just blocks from my house), but I've texted her. No reply as yet.

    So right now the only other regular is Gail, so I guess for the interim, at least, we're the Garden Variety Duo. It does help to have others to work with, and I continue to play, not only for the sheer therapeutic value of it, but for performances on a weekly basis.

    Once more, thank you to all of you for your encouragement, well wishes and support, and your statements of optimism regarding future healing of this relationship.
     
  15. krisls

    krisls Tele-Holic

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    Wow. Sorry to read this as I always enjoyed the tales of your duo exploits and of course compared them to my own situation/s. It is tough when good working things break down for whatever reason, but it happens. People are complicated things and each of us has our own stuff to carry and work through. I do hope something works out.. then of course I smile at the.. playing is cheaper than therapy line... oh yeah. Keep on pickin'.

    Kristina
     
  16. LGOberean

    LGOberean Doctor of Teleocity

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    Thanks, Kris. Very kind of you. Yeah, I too hope that something works out, but I don't have much faith that it'll be anytime soon. Oh, well, in the meantime..."Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da," right? ;)
     
  17. brookdalebill

    brookdalebill Tele Axpert Ad Free Member

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    Bummer.
    I had a blow up this summer with a 30+ year friend/playing partner.
    It definitely feels a little worse this time of year.
    I was the angry/mouthy one.:oops:
    "Good luck" sounds kinda hollow, but I hope y'all can eventually weather this.
     
    Last edited: Nov 27, 2013
  18. dan1952

    dan1952 Friend of Leo's

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    Sorry to hear that, Larry. Hope things get better for you.
     
  19. Tonemonkey

    Tonemonkey Poster Extraordinaire

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    Larry,

    I know you would probably expect a smart-arse comment from me but on this occasion I, like GB, can see you hurting ..... It hurts the more when you don't get to break the news to friends and followers yourself. Thoughts are with you.

    PS. I'll get back to you with my laser-like wit, after a respectful period! ;)
     
  20. dman

    dman Tele-Afflicted

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    Sorry to hear this, Larry. I've been through a band breakup due to duplicitous behavior of one of the members, so I know how this feels. But I am sure that something else will come along for you.
     
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