Breaking News! New Corp-Speak identified

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by geoff_in_nc, Jul 26, 2014.

  1. geoff_in_nc

    geoff_in_nc Friend of Leo's Silver Supporter

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    My manager at work pulled out a new Dilbert-ism on us yesterday. He used the word "socialize" to mean "discuss and work together on something". As in: "let's socialize this idea amongst ourselves before we make a recommendation to the big boss".

    I had to ask what the word meant in that context, which was really tough while stifling laughter.

    Feel free to discuss.
     
  2. Slow Reflexes

    Slow Reflexes Poster Extraordinaire

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    Maybe it's like a dog or something, where you have to get it used to being around others before letting it loose?
     
  3. Gautfrid

    Gautfrid Banned

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    I detest, really detest, corporate speak.

    I once asked the talking suit who told the gathered throng to 'blue sky' his ideas (PowerPoint bullet points) what he meant. He informed me, condescendingly, that we should discuss what he had delivered and come up with further suggestions on a similar theme. My reply of, "why didn't you say that then?" wasn't well received.

    I sometimes wonder why promotion comes hard to to me...
     
  4. winny pooh

    winny pooh Friend of Leo's

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    Middle managers, always finding new ways to justify their superiority and existence in the face of contradictory evidence.
     
  5. fendertx

    fendertx Poster Extraordinaire Silver Supporter

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    "Socialize" huh, I don't see any " added value" in that. Perhaps you should suggest that idea get put in the "parking lot" for later. My fear would be that the team gets caught up in " group think" and we "go down the rabbit hole"
     
  6. goonie

    goonie Friend of Leo's

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    My boss is fond of that one.
     
  7. geoff_in_nc

    geoff_in_nc Friend of Leo's Silver Supporter

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    My GF and I have decided that we need to get ahead of the curve on this and start coming up with corporate neologisms on our own so we can pepper our conversations with new inanities.
     
  8. AlpineHillbilly

    AlpineHillbilly TDPRI Member

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    Clearly you need to think outside the box a little more to be able to focus on core competencies and do more with less.
     
  9. geoff_in_nc

    geoff_in_nc Friend of Leo's Silver Supporter

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    How about "sift the litterbox", as in "it's been a great brainstorming session. Let's get together tomorrow to sift the litterbox for the best solutions"
     
  10. Bongocaster

    Bongocaster Friend of Leo's

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    I concur. Socializing is not one our core competencies.

    A friend of mine posted on facebook some blather about how she "drove alignment." I took a wild guess and asked her if she had gotten a group of people at some meeting to agree to something. I still want to send her a picture of my alignment tools and hammers.:lol:
     
  11. getbent

    getbent Telefied Silver Supporter

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    it would suck to be in the meetings you guys go to... once in awhile somebody will use one of these terms... I usually kind of miss it... it just doesn't go in..

    life is TOO SHORT.
     
  12. BigDaddyLH

    BigDaddyLH Tele Axpert Ad Free Member

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    Well, my dog does that when he's looking for a treat.
     
  13. fendertx

    fendertx Poster Extraordinaire Silver Supporter

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    Your dog is on the fast track!
     
  14. J-man

    J-man Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

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    Not enough blue sky thinking in this thread. ;)
     
  15. kbraker

    kbraker Tele-Meister

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    I have been "coached" for "having opportunities" this past week. The retail grocery business blows. I can't wait for a Costco opening.....
     
  16. Paul in Colorado

    Paul in Colorado Telefied Ad Free Member

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  17. studio

    studio Poster Extraordinaire

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    Yeah, I sit in those corporate meetings
    all the time at work. Heck, I even have to
    record and monitor them.

    You know it's bad when the presenter
    has to rehearse the night before after
    they all went out for cocktails. Then he comes
    back in the meeting room, usually the
    ballroom of a large hotel, and he blows
    his wad for an hour or so.

    Yup, the entire crew has to sit and listen to his
    verbage with no audience. Then we end up telling
    him how great he is just to shut him up,
    boost his ego and maybe he'll leave back to his
    hotel room and we can all get some fricken sleep!
     
  18. denny

    denny Tele-Holic Gold Supporter

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    When I worked for Boeing company a while back, we would get monthly emails from a "Communications Director". The fun thing was to see how she would use the word IMPACT, as a noun or a verb in EVERY SINGLE MESSAGE. Somewhere, somehow, that word always appeared. I thought it was hilarious. Others in the company didn't see the humor. Oh Well, not working there any more. I guess my sense of humor wasn't impactful enough.

    denny
     
  19. studio

    studio Poster Extraordinaire

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    Timothy Leary was a Communications professor.

    ....and in the end, was reduced to babbling nonsense.
     
  20. jlrich

    jlrich Tele-Afflicted

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    Retail work of any kind blows, especially if you're trying to play music. "coaching" and "opportunity" = :mad: I've heard them more than I care to.
     
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