Bragging thread: husband skills!!!

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by BigDaddyLH, May 29, 2020.

  1. thechad

    thechad Tele-Meister

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    Once I came home from work and my wife had gotten her hair done while I was away. When I walked in the door she said “don’t you notice something” to which I said: “the house looks clean?” “You’re making supper?” Etc. But I didn’t notice her hair. :rolleyes:
    The reason she got her hair cut and dyed was because her folks were coming to visit us from Finland. So a couple days later we are walking around a pond with her parents and her dad (a big bird watcher type guy) is asking about the ducks in the pond. Why are they different colours?
    upload_2020-5-29_13-21-28.jpeg
    I say, “the male has the fancy green head to attract the female. The female is the plain brown coloured one because males don’t care about that kind of thing” then I turned to my wife in a very scientific way and said “which is why I didn’t notice your hair. It’s biology’s fault, not mine!” :lol: she didn’t think my observation had any merit.
     
  2. BigDaddyLH

    BigDaddyLH Tele Axpert Ad Free Member

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    That's a great idea!
     
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  3. Torren61

    Torren61 Friend of Leo's Silver Supporter

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    I go to the grocery store with my wife to get a couple of items and every damn time we go for something that should take 10 minutes, she goes into shop mode and we leave 45 minutes later. Grrr!

    So we always start at the produce department. I say “Hey, lets get a seedless watermelon. You carry that and I’ll carry all the other stuff in this basket.” 10 minutes later we’re heading to the car because she got tired of carrying the watermelon.

    This went on for an entire summer before she finally caught on. Now we’re back to taking 45 minutes for a ten minute shop. I gotta think of something new. Grrr!
     
  4. BigDaddyLH

    BigDaddyLH Tele Axpert Ad Free Member

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    My wife is the same way. She has to go up and down every single aisle. The pet food aisle?! (We never buy dog food in the grocery store.) She criticizes me when she sends me to get groceries and I "only buy what's on the list". Huh?

    Anyhowdy, I don't know what can help you. Have you tried eyeing all the young women in the store?
     
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  5. Zepfan

    Zepfan Poster Extraordinaire

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    Are You sure that wasn't secretly saying that your grilling abilities are wack?:D

    I would've fired up that grill with a lot of lighter fluid so that her plants burned up and then told her she should thought about that in the first place. Then after waking up and getting up off the deck, go to the store and get more plants.:lol::lol:
     
    Last edited: May 29, 2020
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  6. Torren61

    Torren61 Friend of Leo's Silver Supporter

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    Well... yeah... who doesn’t?
     
  7. televillian

    televillian Tele-Afflicted

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    it ain`t over
     
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  8. Retrobob

    Retrobob Tele-Meister

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    I put a new battery in the wives car. I was a hero!
     
  9. BigDaddyLH

    BigDaddyLH Tele Axpert Ad Free Member

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    I also noticed that it's the number of things you do. If I come home after spending all day at work, that's only one thing. Pick up milk and dry cleaning on the way home and that's three things! I've done three times as much!
     
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  10. Luthier Vandros

    Luthier Vandros Tele-Holic

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    I once killed a flying roach with her shoe.
     
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  11. Guitarteach

    Guitarteach Poster Extraordinaire

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  12. 8trackmind

    8trackmind Tele-Afflicted

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    I bought the wife a new car today. If she's nice to me by Monday, I'll be surprised.
     
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  13. BigDaddyLH

    BigDaddyLH Tele Axpert Ad Free Member

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    You still got a good 48 hours! :lol:
     
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  14. nojazzhere

    nojazzhere Doctor of Teleocity

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    Does "nice" mean what I think it does? ;)
     
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  15. 8trackmind

    8trackmind Tele-Afflicted

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    It doesn't. It means I'm paying $800.00 an hour to not load the dishwasher for a couple days.
     
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  16. Ragin Cajun

    Ragin Cajun Tele-Meister

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    Well played, Sir!
     
  17. dkmw

    dkmw Friend of Leo's

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    Dishwasher keeps coming up. Is anyone else chastised when you load something in the “wrong” place?

    I just put stuff wherever now, because I know my wife is going to come in and completely rearrange the dishwasher before it’s run. No matter where things are, it’s not correct and has to be “fixed”. I just laugh.
     
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  18. Matt Sarad

    Matt Sarad Tele-Holic

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    I do all the cooking at home. My wife claims she can bake. Last batch of chocolate chip cookies was hockey pucks. She doesn’t make pie crust. Her cobblers are inedible.

    Last night I made baba ghanoush. Grill an eggplant on gas burner until it gets smoky and charred. Put it in a covered pot and start on the Greek Salad: slice red bell peppers, cucumber, red onion, tomatoes. Add olive oil, oregano, feta cheese and pitted Kalamata olives. Cover and put in fridge.

    Skin the charring off the eggplant. Dice three or more cloves of garlic. Add to eggplant with tahini and olive oil. Mash and stir to get the texture just right. Salt and cumin to taste.

    Pita bread is good, but we were out so I heated up tortillas.

    After dinner I did the dishes and cleaned the stove. Wife works at home from 8:30 to 5. I’m retired and enjoy helping out.

    During the day I play mandolin, guitar, fiddle, and banjo.
     
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  19. 39martind18

    39martind18 Tele-Afflicted

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    After 42 years of marriage (next Wednesday) my husbandly skills can be boiled down to learning the four most important phrases a married man can know and employ:.
    1. I'm sorry, dear.
    2. I was wrong, dear.
    3. You were right, dear.
    4. It'll never happen, again, dear. (This one has become a running joke, almost always getting me a sardonic look over Mrs. 39MartinD18's glasses, and a knowing little smile. I'm married to a great lady).
     
  20. Mike Eskimo

    Mike Eskimo Telefied Ad Free Member

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    My wife was using a ball peen hammer she bought for a metalsmithing class and some ridiculous tacks we had to try and hang some small pictures .

    We have hard plaster walls.:eek:

    I went in the junk drawer and got her some utility stickyback velcro and a pair of scissors .

    Didn’t say a word , just placed them next to her while she was zooming a meeting.


    I said nothing. She said nothing in return or since.

    Win/win.


    (Only thing worse than mundane tasks is talking about them...)
     
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