Big Decision - Need Advice

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by CajunJ, Jul 16, 2021.

  1. CajunJ

    CajunJ Tele-Holic

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    I have a job interview Monday. I say interview, but I basically have the job. We’re just going to meet face to face and get a feel for things, work out final details.

    So this would be a huge move, from the NC mountains to the NC coast. I love the coast, grew up on the Louisiana coast. I really, really miss salt water and fishing. It’s in my blood. Feel out of place without it.

    So here are some pros/cons I’m dealing with:

    - The money is ok. It’s pretty much market rate. I think I can maybe get them up a bit. It’s better than what I have now and will allow my wife to stay home with our baby. If I don’t take it, she’ll definitely have to work a good bit starting this winter. Our baby is having trouble gaining weight, so it’s important to us that my wife is home with her.

    - We have a network here. Good people.

    - Cool mountain weather and amazing fall.

    - I’m not a fan of the concept of a boss. Sorry, I’m not into someone’s random mood determining my life. I don’t have a boss now and I love it.

    - I’d like to start my own business in the same field as this job, but it would take maybe a year or two to catch up to the salary I’m being offered. It would be lean times for a bit and my wife would definitely have to work.

    - I’m not crazy about the work. I’ve done this style of work before. It’s stressful. The guy hiring me has been through two people in this position but they didn’t have the experience I have. He hired one guy with no experience after our first interview and the guy quit in 3 weeks because it was too much work. Then he called me. Not sure what to make of this. Guess he was trying to get away with a cheaper hire. If I was doing the same work for myself, I think I would enjoy it.

    - I’ve been out of my field for a couple years and this is an opportunity for me to get back in.

    - My overall goal is to have my own business, but this might give me a few more years of experience and a little financial security while my wife stays with the baby. I can start my business after that.

    - Beach life and flounders.


    We’ll see what happens. If I get a bad vibe, I’m trusting my gut. I got a bad vibe at a job that I was stuck at for a couple years and it made me sick. Never again. But if I get a good vibe, it might be worth it. Hard decision.

    What are some things that you would consider when making this type of big move? Thanks, random internet folks.
     
    Last edited: Jul 16, 2021
  2. badfish_lewis

    badfish_lewis Tele-Meister

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    Always a tough decision. My thoughts:

    Trust your gut, as you said.

    Think about what possible emergencies or unexpected things you may have to deal with. I.E medical issues, issues with the house, car etc and how you'd be able to cope with each both financially and through the support of friends and family.

    What if I lost the new job? What would be my backup plan and is it feasible or am I being generous with my thoughts on how things would play out.

    Lastly, if I never received this new offer, would I be upset with my current situation?

    I've made a giant career leap before and am much happier than I was, though it was tough for the first couple years and I definitely went through periods of regret. Trust yourself.
     
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  3. dented

    dented Doctor of Teleocity

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    Mom only gets to stay home with the baby once. Then work on it.
     
  4. getbent

    getbent Telefied Silver Supporter

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    Where would you want to be self employed more--> coastal NC or mtns NC?

    Mom at home depends on the mom... if you have good folks to take care of the kids... no biggie.

    I know kids from both backgrounds... mom at home was NOT the difference.

    The part that troubles me is that you don't really dig the work... I'd sure wish FOR you that you could find something you really love and are good at doing... So much of our lives is that work, when it only 'kind of sucks' it automagically defines ⅓ of our life... ponder that!
     
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  5. Frodebro

    Frodebro Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

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    Whenever I have a tough, major decision to make I grab a pad and pen and write down all the pros and cons for the options available. For some reason, having everything laid out in front of me tends to make it pretty easy to make the right choice.
     
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  6. Jim_in_PA

    Jim_in_PA Friend of Leo's Silver Supporter

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    The situation with your child and making it possible for your spouse to stay at home brings great weight to the decision for sure and points in the direction of taking the position. To help mitigate your concern about having a "boss", when you meet on Monday be sure to get a good feel for the company culture and actually consider being specific about how you will appreciate a more hands-off approach to your position, considering your experience and ability to work independently. Negotiate it just as you will for pay to make the physical move even more attractive.
     
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  7. 985plowboy

    985plowboy Friend of Leo's

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    I absolutely love being self employed.
    And I also love the NC mountains.
    At least wait til after hurricane season.
     
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  8. Zoso420

    Zoso420 Tele-Meister

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    I live in Chicago but grew up on the gulf coast with a shrimp boat. I think I miss salt water fishing the most.
     
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  9. Boreas

    Boreas Poster Extraordinaire Silver Supporter

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    I made a dramatic life change at your age and went back to school for 4 years to change my profession. I believe age 40 is a good time to make a big change. IMO, I would forget about more experience and go ahead and do what you need to do to start your own business now. In 10-15 years, it may not be worth the effort, and you will have a kid ready to start college. The costs of starting a business are often better amortized beginning at a younger age.

    But ultimately, it should be a family decision.
     
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  10. JL_LI

    JL_LI Poster Extraordinaire

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    Every time I’ve made a major career move it’s worked out for the best. Only some of that is making a wise decision. More important is that I was able to turn an opportunity into a great opportunity. Life is what you make it.
     
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  11. graybeard65

    graybeard65 Tele-Meister

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    Dropped everything to move to coastal NC a long time ago - it was a career move, and paid off...but...the quality of life wasn't what I'd hoped, the opportunities in the area for my wife to work were deplorable, and at least once a year we were faced with all that comes with a hurricane.

    The pros for me were career development and experience, living on a beach (less than 40 yards from the Albemarle Sound), and it was generally quite scenic there - the cons were quality of life, earnings potential in a very small marketplace, a culture that was apprehensive and mistrustful of anyone that hadn't grown up there, and sweet mother of all that's holy, the bugs there were straight from hell. In the winter, everyone was broke and barely managing to scrape by...during tourist season, everyone was making money, but the tourists trashed most of what they touched, and driving anywhere was some NC version of "frogger", because the tourists were lost and frustrated, and the locals were intolerant and late.

    Sorry...I'm generally very positive...but my experience on that particular stretch of beach was one that I couldn't get away from fast enough. I knew that I could never allow my daughter to start elementary school there, and took the first chance to get the heck outta dodge.

    Oh - and as a musician, there was nothing happening -
     
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  12. Silent Otto

    Silent Otto Tele-Holic

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    the way its going, the coast is no place to move to, its a place to move from...
     
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  13. CajunJ

    CajunJ Tele-Holic

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    Really great insights. Appreciate it. Gives me more to consider.
     
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  14. teletail

    teletail Friend of Leo's

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    Seriously, what else is there to consider? You brought a child into the world, you're responsible for them.
     
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  15. Chipss36

    Chipss36 Tele-Holic

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    When you own a business, everyone is your “boss”

    just sayin.
     
  16. David Meiland

    David Meiland Tele-Meister Silver Supporter

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    I've been self-employed and running a business forever. I recommend it if you're inclined. It takes more time and effort than it would take for me to just work a job in the same industry, sometimes way more. The earning potential being in business is higher, and so is the risk. When our daughter was younger I was able to jockey my schedule to be home more, trade hours and days with my wife, do school drop-off and pick-up, be home with her after school, stuff like that that's really important. I traded that for late nights and weekend work.

    Whatever you do, prioritize the baby. That means mom home with her. Babies should get LOTS of holding, eye contact, talking and singing, etc., early on. Mom does it all day and then you do it when you get home. Major outlay of time and energy, totally worth it.
     
  17. OmegaWoods

    OmegaWoods Tele-Holic

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    The positives seem to outweigh the negatives. You want to get back in the industry, check. You want to let your wife stay home, check. You want to make decent money while evaluating your options and strategizing your business move, check. You get to fish, check.

    I'm excited for you! Congrats! It sounds like a great opportunity.

    My DW stayed home with all five of our children. Made for some lean times but we wouldn't change anything about that part of our lives. I truly believe her staying home and raising them right has made all the difference in their lives.
     
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  18. telleutelleme

    telleutelleme Telefied Silver Supporter

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    I ran a business for 40 years. I was stuck and responsible for multiple families. It takes a real commitment and sacrifice. Better love it.

    I hate hurricanes. Because of my work, i couldn't move.

    You work a big portion of your life, choose wisely. Good luck.
     
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  19. Dan German

    Dan German Doctor of Teleocity

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    Not to diminish the importance of this decision in your life, but “NC Mountains” to “NC Coast” is a change of neighbourhood, not a big move. :D (Seriously, though, your “network” of “good people” would still be pretty close by.)

    Moves in my life:
    St. Louis -> remote northern Manitoba
    Northern Manitoba -> central Manitoba farm country
    Farm country -> Winnipeg urban (wrong side of the tracks)
    Winnipeg urban -> Oklahoma
    Oklahoma -> Denver
    Denver -> Winnipeg
    Winnipeg -> Vancouver Island

    There were some small moves scattered amongst, but not worth mentioning.

    You can do this. Or you can not do this. I’m no help, am I?
     
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  20. Killing Floor

    Killing Floor Friend of Leo's

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    Not trying to sound like a dope here.

    I believe you know what is the best decision for you and your family.
    I also believe there is no way to predict the future or change the past. Meaning that what you decide you need to embrace fully in order that you make the beat chance of success. Do what you believe us best. And do it 100%. Whatever you decide.
     
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