Badly explain your occupation

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by gobi_grey, Aug 6, 2017.

  1. edvard

    edvard Tele-Afflicted

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    Bremerton, WA
    People tell me to take some 0s and 1s and stick them on paper, or they already have a paper and they want another just like it. I have a couple of machines that help me do that. Sometimes I take the papers and stick them all together on one edge. Sometimes the paper comes out of the machine with pictures on it, other times it's a bunch of words. Other people keep telling me that someday I will no longer do this, because tiny lights arranged on a flat surface is better than paper, but for some reason people keep coming to me asking me to put stuff on paper. This amuses me.
     
  2. 9fears08

    9fears08 Tele-Meister

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    Bristol, UK
    People using equipment that have silicon inside used for making calculations and insulting others via a text based medium or desks with uppy/downy knobs that make noises appear in different places make said pieces of equipment work in a less than optimal fashion. My job is to make adjustments so that the pieces of equipment do work in an optimal fashion..sometimes the adjustments are made to the aforementioned people..
     
  3. voskarp

    voskarp Tele-Meister

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    Uppsala, Sweden
    Sometimes I go into peoples houses and take away stuff that I can sell to the scrapyard. Other things I just throw away.

    I often destroy parts of walls and the ceiling so other guys have to come there and repair.

    I mostly come back later and put up new stuff that the house owners have to pay for, mostly.

    Sometimes I get electric shocks because I've been stupid or clumsy.

    I do other tings too.
     
    troy2003 likes this.
  4. JCW308

    JCW308 Tele-Meister

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    Telford, PA USA
    I lose money by helping old ladies reset their AOL passwords.
     
  5. Sjnoring

    Sjnoring Tele-Afflicted

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    I open big files full of red tape and if there's not enough red tape in them I put more in.
     
    edvard and gobi_grey like this.
  6. TheOneFatGuy

    TheOneFatGuy Tele-Afflicted

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    Location:
    Sheffield
    I sell people drugs, often in large quantities and accompanied by crisps and nuts.
     
  7. Sparky2

    Sparky2 Friend of Leo's

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    Location:
    Harvest, Alabama
    I sit in a comfortable chair, strapped in with a four-way retention harness, and turn dead dinosaurs into noise.

    Flying at hundreds of feet above the blades of grass and the golf courses, I try not to think about the hundreds of moving parts right above my head that were built in a dozen countries, bought from the lowest bidder, and assembled by union shop workers in Mississippi.

    :(
     
    Last edited: Aug 6, 2017
  8. Asmith

    Asmith Friend of Leo's

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    East Yorkshire, England
    I walk in circles in a cold place, putting foods in baskets all day. Other people take my baskets off me and put them in boxes on wheels which take the baskets to the bigger boxes people live in. What I do is boring but easy.
     
    Shango66 likes this.
  9. homesick345

    homesick345 Poster Extraordinaire

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    Location:
    Beirut, Lebanon
    I have to listen to millionaires whining. They ain't getting **** they deserve. I have to reassure them an nurse them like babies. Pool is too hot. Saw a cat. There's some rubble blocking my Seaview miles away. Do something. My wife mini cooper slipped on rain water. Then I write stuff and it's all good.
     
  10. elihu

    elihu Poster Extraordinaire

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    Texas
    I see people at their worst and help make them less worse...sometimes by removing rotting tissue with a pair of scissors.
     
  11. ukepicker

    ukepicker Tele-Afflicted Silver Supporter

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    Texas
    I help wealthy companies destroy the earth. And when they are done, I make pictures and descriptions of the carnage to give to the government.
     
  12. mad dog

    mad dog Friend of Leo's

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    Montclair, NJ
    I write instructions to help people get tjongs done.
     
    9fears08 likes this.
  13. raito

    raito Poster Extraordinaire

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    [​IMG]
    Except that I don't get to choose the pattern of light's I'm trying for. That's someone else's job.
     
    Steve 78, Rustbucket and Boomhauer like this.
  14. shinigami747

    shinigami747 Tele-Holic

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    NJ
    I primarily stick paper with letters on it that vaguely describe other people's condition into a machine that turns the letters into some electronic signal thing and gets spit out at the other end to the receiver in either paper with letters on it or more electronic stuff.
    The purpose of this is to get approval from the receiver with regard to giving more medications/exercises/hands-on care in order to hopefully improve the aforementioned people's condition. Rinse and repeat. Every day.
    I also have to deal with the aforementioned other people and their irate families when the receiver says NO.
     
    9fears08 likes this.
  15. AndreDanican

    AndreDanican Tele-Holic Gold Supporter

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    Location:
    Montreal
    I scrape horse hair across catgut, or more often steel and tungsten wires. The wires are attached to a box of very old wood, I can change the pitch of the scraping sounds with the fingers of my left hand. I usually have to stare at paper sheets while pretending to try and interpret the flailing arms of my boss, who does some kind of interpretive dancing or prancing in front of large groups of people who pay money to see what today's show is.
     
  16. Allen Peterson

    Allen Peterson Tele-Meister

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    Katy, Texas
    I used to poke million dollar holes in the ground. One of them cost $90 million. After doing this about 400 times, I retired.
     
  17. Bill

    Bill Poster Extraordinaire Ad Free Member

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    London
    I invented the ">" that you use to understand instructions. Now, everything you do is because of me.
     
    grooveiron likes this.
  18. fenderrookie

    fenderrookie A fan of Leo!

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    east of East St Louis
    I toil daily to allow yuppie yoke-actuators the chance to, yet again, break a modern day version of Orville and Wilbur Wright's contraption.
     
    Bill Hubbard likes this.
  19. CK Dexter Haven

    CK Dexter Haven Friend of Leo's

    Age:
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    GCDB
    I purchase a variety of objects from people who no long want them, some are wood & wire others are wood and faux calf skin, yet others are tubes of brass. I clean & repair these items and attempt to resell them at a small profit to difficult people who always seem to know where they can "git one cheeper" . On occasion I take one of the items from my inventory and use it for its intended purpose of entertaining others. Some times I am paid a modest amount for this , more often not, and on many occasions I pay for the privilege. Most of the people I entertain pass with out comment, there are always a few who depart after reassuring me that they "could do that, it doesn't look hard"
     
    Rustbucket likes this.
  20. Widerange Hum

    Widerange Hum Tele-Holic

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    San Diego, CA
    I'm in the human sacrifice business. We round up a small subset of the population and screw up their lives in the hopes that it makes everyone else's lives better.
     
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