Babylon Bee on worship lyrics

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JuneauMike

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LOL, love it! It's weird how often a parody site is more insightful than my morning paper. Like, disturbingly weird. But then again, the court jester is the only guy in the room ever allowed to tell the truth without repercussions.

U.S.—A recent survey performed by CCLI confirmed that AC/DC’s hard rock classic “Highway to Hell” is more theologically accurate than 96% of the songs that most worship bands play on any given Sunday.


The study examined over 800 songs and compared their theology to the Scriptures, and found that the Australian rock group’s 1979 classic was “significantly more accurate” than over 96% of them.

“While modern worship songs tend to contain little theology, an anemic view of sin, and a poor understanding of the work of the Holy Spirit, ‘Highway to Hell’ has a very biblical view of the doctrine of hell,” a CCLI rep said. “Lead singer Bon Scott had a clear understanding of man’s natural inclination toward sin and the inevitable judgment of God that follows.”

“Just take a look at some of those lyrics in that hard-hitting first verse,” the head CCLI researcher told reporters. “‘Don’t need reason, don’t need rhyme, Ain’t nothing I would rather do / Going down, party time, My friends are gonna be there too.'”

“Bon Scott’s understanding of mankind’s depravity clearly rivaled anything Paul wrote in the third chapter of Romans,” he added. “It’s better than that song that keeps inviting the Holy Spirit in like He’s some kind of coy puppy dog.”

Further findings confirmed that other metal classics like Iron Maiden’s “The Number of the Beast,” Metallica’s “Master of Puppets,” and Megadeth’s “Symphony of Destruction” were also more accurate than most songs played on Air1 or K-LOVE.
 
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