Anybody ever had a toddler expelled from their daycare program?

P Thought

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He has a slight speech delay and is very insistent on doing what he wants when he wants. His lack of communication skills cause him to melt down when adults aren't able to interpret his wants/needs. He's been cleared by his pediatrician for any developmental delays aside from his language and speech. Gross and fine motor skills are fine, height and weight are above average, etc, etc.

Busy during college years with other stuff, I washed out of the speech and language program, but after I grew up I did get to teach SpEd briefly at elementary- and middle school on my way to my big dream job at the high school. I would contact local Head Start; they'll have resources. Language intervention works, and the earlier the better, has been my observation. They might have help for you with the placement issue as well.
 

Davono

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Just wondering how common this is/isn't. We are being asked to find alternate care for our 30 month old son. He is in a class of 14 with 2 teachers and the official school statement is that they are "not equipped to cater to his specific needs."

He has a slight speech delay and is very insistent on doing what he wants when he wants. His lack of communication skills cause him to melt down when adults aren't able to interpret his wants/needs. He's been cleared by his pediatrician for any developmental delays aside from his language and speech. Gross and fine motor skills are fine, height and weight are above average, etc, etc.

My cynical impression is that they just don't want to deal with him and they're trying to chalk it up as developmental when it's not. Or, at most, it's 10% developmental and 90% behavioral.
 

JL_LI

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My wife is a retired school psychologist who owned and ran a private preschool. She’s now working as a parents and child’s advocate. Expulsions are not as uncommon as we’d like to think. She’s working with a client with a child the local school district is trying to remove from kindergarten. PM if you have questions you’d like to ask her.
 

Informal

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Yep, my kid got tossed from Daycare when she was 3 1/2

She apparently was a little too bitey for their tastes :p
 

Davono

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Just wondering how common this is/isn't. We are being asked to find alternate care for our 30 month old son. He is in a class of 14 with 2 teachers and the official school statement is that they are "not equipped to cater to his specific needs."

He has a slight speech delay and is very insistent on doing what he wants when he wants. His lack of communication skills cause him to melt down when adults aren't able to interpret his wants/needs. He's been cleared by his pediatrician for any developmental delays aside from his language and speech. Gross and fine motor skills are fine, height and weight are above average, etc, etc.

My cynical impression is that they just don't want to deal with him and they're trying to chalk it up as developmental when it's not. Or, at most, it's 10% developmental and 90% behavioral.
Dude...I got reported for dropping an F bomb.....but of you wanna talk to a kindred spirit with a crazy toddler, drop me a mail davo Nolan 86 at Gmail dot com.
 

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sax4blues

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Strange rationale.

That’s like running a garage and complaining that the car’s coming in need fixing. Some require more work than others. Like it’s a big surprise. Cmon..
I’ve known a couple of those shops, they seem to do fine, and I found a different shop for my car.
 

Obsessed

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Your daycare center is just not prepared for your child’s special needs, so that is a good thing to know. My sister works at a top of the line college daycare center with something like 100 kids. She has a masters in child development and her main job as co-director is to observe and identify children with special needs and then develop an action plan at the center and for the parents at home. It is well worth an investment in seeking out some professional help. My sister says the earlier they can identify the issues, the better the outcome.

Good luck. I think your child’s expulsion is a blessing in disguise.
 

schmee

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............ only when he kept playing "smoke on the water" over and over........
 

Obsessed

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To @teletail and @ieatlions , I think most of us commonly jump to conclusions about complex things like child behavior. I know that I always have, until my sister described and explained some of the variety and combination of complex issues that children exhibit. Even with her master’s degree in child behavior and something like 30 years experience, it can be a challenge to diagnose. Consider the child’s home environment, genetics, health issues, diet, parental guidance, etc. No need for you two to get upset about debating it. It is a very emotional subject for everyone involved. My best wishes to @_MementoMori_ and child for a normal family life.
 

ieatlions

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To @teletail and @ieatlions , I think most of us commonly jump to conclusions about complex things like child behavior. I know that I always have, until my sister described and explained some of the variety and combination of complex issues that children exhibit. Even with her master’s degree in child behavior and something like 30 years experience, it can be a challenge to diagnose. Consider the child’s home environment, genetics, health issues, diet, parental guidance, etc. No need for you two to get upset about debating it. It is a very emotional subject for everyone involved. My best wishes to @_MementoMori_ and child for a normal family life.

I’m not upset. Just expressing my personal opinion.

As a QTVI (qualified teacher of the blind and visually impaired, specialising in children and young adults) and a father of two VERY boisterous boys, I’ve got a fair bit of experience.

From my experience I’ve only ever heard of preschool exclusions being implemented when a child has exhibited repeated violent behaviour towards other children. There’s a robust system in place in my local authority for recognising and supporting children with additional needs and referrals are made promptly. I do appreciate this differs from one authority to another and certainly one country to another.

Going from what the poster has said, a qualified professional has stated the child has no additional needs, so to say they can’t deal with his “specific needs” is an excuse. Every child has specific needs. I think his instincts are correct. They want an easy ride. Fair enough but I’d want my child somewhere else!

Again, this is just an opinion.
 

El Serio

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I don't have any advice on the daycare front, but based on the speech delays, I definitely recommend that you seek out your local early intervention office. We received free services for 2 of our children up until 3 years of age. Delays in speech development can be related to the Autism Spectrum or other diagnoses. In my experience general pediatricians are not the right people to talk to for diagnosis on developmental delays, you need more specialized help.

The earlier you get the right help, the better the outcome for the child.
 

_MementoMori_

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Nice try, Big Brother.
I feel bad for starting this thread and then not really contributing to it, so here's an update:

I sent the school that's expelling my son an email that was polite and not hyper-emotional, but very direct in communicating the difficult position that their decision has placed my son and my family in. This resulted in the director of the early childhood program requesting another meeting with us to see if there is some way for my son to remain in their program. That is scheduled for 12/6.

In the meantime (meaning before their request for another meeting), we contacted a local place that has an opening in January. They are $3,500 more per year than where my son is going now. This is not chump change to us and sending him there will place enormous strain on us financially.

So now I am torn between keeping him where he is... which I no longer believe to be the ideal environment for him, or sending him to a place that I feel is more qualified but also way more expensive. To say that I'm literally losing sleep over the decision is not an exaggeration.
 

elihu

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I feel for you MM.

And I like what El Serio said about pediatricians. The Autism epidemic is a relatively new phenomenon. As per the CDC it’s prevalence was 1 in 10,000 back in 1980 and now it’s something like 1 in 60 for a male child. Many pediatricians have neither the training nor experience to recognize developmental delays. A 2nd opinion may not be a bad idea.
 

El Serio

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A bit of explanation on early intervention: After we contacted our local intervention office (state funded) they came to our home and did an assessment of our child's development, based on the results of that assessment they determined that she qualified for services (they could not provide an official diagnosis), and offered speech therapy and occupational therapy based on her test results. All was free.

We ultimately sought out an official diagnosis, but our pediatrician couldn't even tell us where to go for that, I had to find a place by myself. I have since attended many therapy sessions over the past decade plus, and my wife and I have learned many strategies to help us with our special needs kids.

Appropriate intervention (such as speech therapy) definitely helped improve communication, and reduce tantrums.
 

teletail

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To @teletail and @ieatlions , I think most of us commonly jump to conclusions about complex things like child behavior. I know that I always have, until my sister described and explained some of the variety and combination of complex issues that children exhibit. Even with her master’s degree in child behavior and something like 30 years experience, it can be a challenge to diagnose. Consider the child’s home environment, genetics, health issues, diet, parental guidance, etc. No need for you two to get upset about debating it. It is a very emotional subject for everyone involved. My best wishes to @_MementoMori_ and child for a normal family life.
I have no idea what you are talking about. I didn't jump to any conclusions at all. As for getting upset, I'm not upset, I'm just putting the other person on my ignore list. I've learned that it's a waste of time to try to have discussions with people like that.
 




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