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Alright fellas, looking for some help and advice

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by Nubs, Mar 8, 2021.

  1. 1955

    1955 Doctor of Teleocity

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    Drive whatever you want. If it’s practical, it’s good.

    Sounds like you are successful, independent, etc.

    Fix your own problems first and everything will fall into place.

    Be willing to wait. No use getting hepatitis from red flag 3s who think they 9’s because of Instagram.

    Sooner or later you will find the right one, and there should be only one.

    None of this asinine play-the-field stuff. Your time and character are more valuable than that.

    Good luck, because promiscuity has been normalized. Don’t fall into the trap. People have gotten killed for less. Many are dead walking.

    Go back to square one and do things like getting outdoors, lifting heavy things, building, walking, hunting, competing, solving problems. Masculine things. Do all of the basic stuff that makes you stronger, and get away from being emotional if you are.

    Emotion is being equated now with truth in this sick, crazy world. It is not truth. Run away from crazy.

    The movies, media, etc. are all lies and have destroyed many good-intentioned men, turning them into surrogates of the primal, passing-legacy of many, many other men before them.

    I’m not going to blow smoke and give you a practical reflection or how-to idealism that ruins people. It is war out there, so you better choose once, and choose right.

    Many of my peers, their lifetime’s work destroyed, have been zeroed out after being judicially violated while silhouettes giggle in a bath of opportunism. This is what really happens. Beware.

    There are many good women out there. Traditional values don’t fare too well in the city.

    Be in shape, try to do right every day, go about your business, your purpose.

    Do not go looking. With what you described, you are an easy target for your resources to be reallocated.

    Draw your line in the sand with what you will and will not tolerate. Do not let anyone push you around, tell you how your life is going to be, or even try change you.

    Stay far away from the psychos.
     
    Peegoo, MarkieMark, El Serio and 3 others like this.
  2. dogmeat

    dogmeat Friend of Leo's

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    show 'em your pedal board....







    never mind... you got better advice already
     
    Fuelish, BigDaddyLH and telemnemonics like this.
  3. Oldsmobum

    Oldsmobum Tele-Holic

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    For being humorous, this post is insanely wise. Get it tattooed in case you forget.

    First and foremost, a few things. As far as dating goes, quantity is about 1/10 the value of quality. I dated A LOT of people, with varying degrees of success. First, I will tell you what I didn’t (and still don’t) have.

    -style, or fancy clothes
    -a nice car (mine has fist sized rust holes, no AC, etc)
    -a fancy house
    -ability to settle down

    Despite this, I was very successful (by guy standards) dating. I attribute this to a few key things-

    -I listen, and contribute to conversations without dominating them. Asking open ended questions really helps when you aren’t sure what to say. You can always come up with more questions and can make statements relating your experience to their answers.
    - I didn’t try too hard. This is cliche but very important. I’m not going to lie- the Challenger is bordering on this. YOU need to have value, not your stuff. You can’t buy self worth, and if you try it will be obvious. Anyone attracted to this has big issues of their own.
    - Don’t be desperate. When contacting women, you can’t blow up their phone if you’re not getting a response... It ties into your self worth. Remember, you aren’t desperate. Never be desperate.
    - Don’t put your eggs into one basket. Not to be confused with avoiding commitment, you aren’t married to someone before the first date. Everyone wants to be the only one, but if it were true marriage wouldn’t be special. You don’t owe anyone exclusivity until you both have earned it. With that in mind, don’t intentionally play the field if you’re looking for a solid relationship. It can get too easy and it’s an easy rut to fall into. The chase can be more addictive than most drugs, and it’s a hard habit to shake.
    - Be interesting. Not everyone will find you interesting, but you need to have depth. This includes hobbies (you’re here, good start), passions, experiences, and interests. I got laid once because I knew the three reasons Pluto was 86ed from planet status off the top of my head. You don’t have to be a know it all, but you have to be interested in stuff to be interesting.
    -Don’t expect perfection. You might be good, but none of us are perfect.

    There is one more rule. The most important of all- most guys don’t get this. Do not ever forget this or you will fail.

    Women are human. Treat them as such. Respect them, be polite to them, and sure as hell do NOT be lewd. If you wouldn’t say it to the gal at the supermarket- DO NOT say it to the gal online. Forgive them when reasonable, and let them go when necessary. Don’t worship them- remember, they are people.


    Everything that I itemized is just a manifestation of this simple point.
     
    bender66, P Thought and Killing Floor like this.
  4. stonetone7

    stonetone7 Tele-Holic

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    Don’t forget to brighten up those choppers!

    Beyond that, everyone already got to the other important stuff.
     
  5. TheDavis

    TheDavis Tele-Meister

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    Thanks, that’s so thoughtful of you, I’m sure you’re the life of the party.
     
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  6. Mark the Moose

    Mark the Moose Tele-Afflicted

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    Here's a few cents...

    1. Be healthy. This includes mental and physical health and everything that goes with it.
    2. Don't change cars or bikes, but be ready to talk about why things you love are part of your life.
    3. Read a book. Listen to Beethoven. Watch a movie. Play some Rock 'n Roll. Develop interests and depth. I like "The Art of Manliness" for a variety of thought provoking posts.
    4. Join some clubs or interest groups, hiking groups, rock climbing, music, find a church, volunteer...whatever helps you build community and meet people.

    In short, be the best you in a place where you can build relationships.
     
  7. BigDaddyLH

    BigDaddyLH Tele Axpert Ad Free Member

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    You will be beating them off you with a stick. Any guy who can drive a pink Nissan Cube is floating in testosterone.

    [​IMG]

    I went into a Bath & Body and bought a loofah six pack and immediately, the women started brawling over me...

     
    Last edited: Mar 8, 2021
    Nubs and thunderbyrd like this.
  8. Killing Floor

    Killing Floor Tele-Afflicted

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    Right! Be yourself and be genuine, whatever that is for you. I had a pretty easy road when I was dating, the harder part (not kidding) was sorting out the ones who liked me vs the ones who liked the whole backstage and band thingy.
    Then again, you're talking to a guy who said "Go-go dancing is back in style, go-go or go home" and I'm still married to that one. Just be genuine.
     
  9. P Thought

    P Thought Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

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    Excellent!
     
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  10. 3fngrs

    3fngrs Friend of Leo's

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    Harley Davidson.

    That is all.
     
    Oldsmobum likes this.
  11. Thebluesman

    Thebluesman Tele-Holic

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    all ways be yourself. if your a fake...it will soon show.=why change your mode of transport just because.
     
    bender66 likes this.
  12. chris m.

    chris m. Poster Extraordinaire

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    Always helpful to remember the Crazy/Hot Matrix when it comes to single women....

     
  13. Cali Dude

    Cali Dude Tele-Afflicted

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    I would agree with those whom suggest working on your self. Being a retired mental health professional, I would strongly encourage you to get into some kind of therapy. If traditional therapy isn't your thing, I would start working out at what ever level you need to start at. A healthy diet and good sleep are also essential in healing yourself. Depression takes great detail and commitment to overcome. Practicing self love will be a starting point. It's difficult to love others until you love yourself. Having a successful relationship requires both. A car or a bike will be a short lived boost to your self worth. So, focus on the real you, not a quick fix. I wish you the best.
     
  14. dented

    dented Doctor of Teleocity

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    You get out there! It's winter.
     
  15. BigDaddyLH

    BigDaddyLH Tele Axpert Ad Free Member

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    [​IMG]
     
    1955 likes this.
  16. Oxidao

    Oxidao Tele-Meister

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    I wish I had an answer for you (and me).
    You said you are not projecting the best of you.
    I think you gotta feel your best first.
    The things that makes YOU happy or feeling good are the real thing.
    You named them. Good and healthy food, Being in a good shape, taking care of your look...
    Look for passion, wherever it is. Motorbikes, music, fishing, movies, painting, sport, volunteering...
    Be generous with yourself, reward yourself.
    Maybe nothing changes now, but you will feel better in the meantime.
    Be sure that maybe not today, but someday THAT woman will realize the beauty on you.
    Good luck
    (you’ll need it with that avatar) hahaha, sorry about that.
     
  17. Harry Styron

    Harry Styron Friend of Leo's Gold Supporter

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    Nubs, you got it backwards. If you feel good, you’ll look good.

    If you feel good, you’ll look happy, which is attractive. Nobody will be interested in your material things or spending time with you if your focus is on accessories.

    A client of mine once to my office manager that she would be look good on his boat. She was insulted. You’re doing the same thing to yourself, thinking of looking good in your truck or on your Harley.

    Good luck. I hope you can figure out how to make some friends.
     
  18. MarkieMark

    MarkieMark Friend of Leo's

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    There is a great range in the attempts at helpful tips here, and I would just like to pause and recognize your effort to be the loose soil beneath the concrete footings below the cinder block that supports the sill plate below the floor joist that supports the first floor wall of a decent effort at any attempt whatsoever at a contribution to the conversation.
    Awesome man! Really!
    You're my grammar police hero of the moment.
    Thank you for paying close attention to what is important to.... You.

    Have I mentioned lately how much that annoys me? :cool:

    (Edited to appease the distracting GP)
     
    Last edited: Mar 8, 2021
  19. thunderbyrd

    thunderbyrd Poster Extraordinaire Silver Supporter

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    money, Nubs. money. how much money do you have? well, you'll need more.
     
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  20. tbp0701

    tbp0701 Tele-Afflicted

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    I got used to being unattractive and had generally given up on dating. (I did fairly well back in my gigging days, but that was some time ago). But in the last couple years I've gotten a great deal of interest and attention.

    What changed? Me. I finally figured out a healthy diet, lost weight (I'm less than half what I used to be), and became far more active. Started hiking, got back on a bicycle after decades and ride it a lot, and generally get out and do stuff.

    On the downside, I still have trouble believing the attention is real and do a lot of second guessing--and I'm somewhat socially awkward in general--so I haven't really known what to do with it, but I'm getting better.
     
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