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Alright fellas, looking for some help and advice

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by Nubs, Mar 8, 2021.

  1. Nubs

    Nubs Friend of Leo's

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    It's time for me to brush myself off, get up off the ground, and get back into the dating game. I've been on the hunt for close to a year now with very little to show for it. It's pretty much been all online because of obvious reasons.

    First, let me say that the struggles I am experiencing are all self inflicted. The way I project myself towards others isn't always my best. I suffer from soul crushing loneliness and depression which if I dwell upon will wind up dragging me down lower very quickly. Yeah, no one wants to hang out with someone like that. So I am working on finding that inner strength and confidence which has been lacking for so long. By far it has been the toughest thing I have ever done, but I know it's worth it.

    ANYWAYS, about the image. I subscribe to the theory that if you look good, you'll feel good. That means some significant changes for the better. So I'm going to start eating better, exercising more often, and put more effort into my appearance.

    Now to the real meat of it. One of the things I have been considering changing is my vehicle. Right now, I have a nice 2016 RAM 1500 which I really like and a 2013 Harley Street Glide. I don't necessarily want to get rid of the truck as I appreciate the utility I get from it, but what about the bike?

    If you were in my position (45, single, nice house, truck, job, still have all my teeth and limbs) and you were wanting to turn some heads, which would you go with? Should I keep the bike, or get myself a hot rod?

    I'm toying with the idea of getting a new Dodge Challenger SCAT Widebody or similar model. My neighbor has a Challenger so I don't want to make it seem as if I'm copying him, but I can't think of any other manufacturer I would be willing to go with for a new ride.

    I realize it takes A LOT more than a fancy car to get the women, but a nice ride certainly couldn't hurt. So what would you say? Do I keep the Harley, or go for a new car? What's sexier to women?

    Thanks all in advance! Let's get Nubs hooked up!
     
    String Tree likes this.
  2. Killing Floor

    Killing Floor Tele-Afflicted

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    Rule 1 - Never wear a Hawai'ian shirt even if you are in Hawai'i.
    Rule 2 - Sleeves. Always. Unless you are swimming. Always!
    Rule 3 - Collect anything that resembles a sandal and throw it in the trash. At the beach, barefoot. Even a woman who is truly in love with you will have wandering eyes if the man she is with has sandals. Fact.
    Rule 4 - Eye Contact FTW!

    Good luck.
     
  3. TheDavis

    TheDavis Tele-Meister

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    I think the nice ride applies to your teens to early 20’s, I don’t think that’s as big of factor at your age.
    Sounds like your on the right track, putting some effort into making yourself desirable.
    Confidence and patience and realistic expectations and you’ll do just fine.
     
    uriah1, GGardner, lil scotty and 3 others like this.
  4. buster poser

    buster poser Friend of Leo's Platinum Supporter

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    Without wishing to upset anyone, I think the type of woman that's going to become interested in you because of a Harley or muscle car (or any other kind of car really) is one to avoid. I've had a succession of head-turning cool cars and the attention they've attracted has always been exclusively from my own gender. I'm not saying that's not nice... but that's not what you're going for.

    In any case, to me (again, no disrespect intended), Harleys telegraph old dude trying to relive his youth, muscle cars about the same (I speak from experience). If you want something performant and good-looking that says "no latent Peter Pan-ism here, ladies" I'd consider a CPO quasi-luxury car. Lexus, Merc, Audi, etc.

    Good luck!
     
  5. bender66

    bender66 Poster Extraordinaire

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    Work on the quality of your soul and its physical appearance.

    That's all there is.
     
  6. CaptainCrunch

    CaptainCrunch Tele-Meister

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    Be kind, be funny, and listen. Women don't care what you drive so long as it's not a mobile meth lab, and some of them are into that.

    When I was in the game, I played WAY out of my league and I drove absolute crapcans. I met my wife when I was driving my grandma's rusty old minivan because it was free.

    Seriously, if there is ONE piece of dating advice, it's to let them know you enjoy time with them, and be sincerely interested in what they have to say. If that's not the case, you both just need to keep moving along.
     
  7. john_cribbin

    john_cribbin Tele-Afflicted

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    You need to ask TD, all the women are flocking to him!
     
  8. dented

    dented Doctor of Teleocity

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    Hmmmmm.........just a few things and I did read your whole post. You have the right ideas.

    Keep yourself looking good and smelling good. Shower, use deodorant and maybe a small amount of body spray. Women have very sensitive noses and they like to smell their man. Get outdoors and don't look like you stay in the house. Wear clothes that don't put you in a category. You can wear cowboy boots without looking western and don't look like ya just got off a horse or a hog. Be yourself but dress well. It doesn't need to be expensive

    The truck. I had a difficult time when I had just a truck so I bought a car and it changed my luck almost immediately. When I had some extra coin I bought another truck as a second vehicle. The ladies like a comfy vehicle to roll up to restaurants, friends houses and the meet the family. Truck adds to it later on. Macho vehicle is fine but practical works also as women like men who make smart choices. So find a macho vehicle that is practical also. Choose something affordable and don't forget it is only temporary.

    Even a tough guy wins people over with good manners. Even to strangers. As women will see how you are to others and appreciate how you might be able to treat them. Take this with the other's suggestions and find out your path to happy feet. Don't be looking for a honeymoon if you want something to last.
     
    fasteddie455 and Cali Dude like this.
  9. Peegoo

    Peegoo Poster Extraordinaire

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    A snazzy vehicle may help make a man attractive, but only to materialistic/shallow women. Trust me on this point.

    The absolute best thing to do to get back into the game is already on your plate: getting into shape, eating well, exercising. Be as active as your body will allow without damaging it. This becomes harder as we age. Put in the work now, and it will pay off for years to come.

    Also...if you want to meet quality laydeez, you need to go where they are, and you need to be willing to do some work if your past habits do not include things like volunteering, working in the community, attending cultural events, etc. Simply liking "fireplaces, wine, and long walks on the beach" will not do it.

    Women of good character that are older have all been subjected to that game and many can spot a fake from a mile away. You have to be willing to be the guy that a good woman will want. If you try too hard, you appear desperate to women that are looking for Mr. Right--rather than Mr. Right Now.

    Relationships are like good eating habits: it's a lifestyle; its not a fad diet to achieve a goal and then quit. It's an ongoing effort.

    The good news is there are a lot of good women out there looking for a good man.

    Be THAT guy.

    Good luck!
     
  10. CaptainCrunch

    CaptainCrunch Tele-Meister

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    Only one time has a lady cared enough to notice and comment on my car. I had just gotten a Mazdaspeed6 in white, and was waiting to turn left and a super-cute hipster girl in the crosswalk said "Hey, man, that's a really cool car" and not sarcastically. I just figured she played a lot of Gran Turismo.
     
  11. VWAmTele

    VWAmTele Friend of Leo's

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    Your vehicles are just fine. Work on feeling healthier and be upbeat - that'll get you almost all the way there. Don't talk about loneliness or depression. As long as you're not grotesque a good sense of humor will seal the deal.
     
    Oldsmobum likes this.
  12. buster poser

    buster poser Friend of Leo's Platinum Supporter

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    I'd had my M3 (a 2006 in a really tarty blue) for about a year when my wife finally asked "do you know every time we go somewhere in this car dudes are always gawking at it?" I said "yeah" and she asked how many times I'd noticed a woman doing it... "not even once." I'd have loved to tweak her for a little jealousy, but that was the plain truth.
     
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  13. koen

    koen Friend of Leo's

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    Get a Prius. Or a Subaru.
     
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  14. AlbertaGriff

    AlbertaGriff Tele-Afflicted

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    Like others, I would not worry about the vehicles. The truck or bike is fine, and if the lady likes you she won't care a bit.

    Sounds like you are on the right track otherwise... I met my wife at a time when I felt most comfortable being ME. Learn to love yourself, or do what you need to do in order to be able to love yourself. That doesn't mean be boastful or over-proud, it means to BE the kind of person you want to be and would otherwise want to be around. The company will follow.

    From there it is all about being a good, respectful partner.
     
  15. imwjl

    imwjl Poster Extraordinaire

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    If the women are not already flocking to you or knocking on the door, all getting a Dodge Challenger SCAT will do is only maybe attract women who like a Dodge Challenger SCAT. I did a little homework and see Dodge Challenger SCAT seems to be far more popular with men. If you're wanting to get hooked up with them, maybe a good idea.

    My suggestion to up your chances is consider some volunteer work if you don't already do that. The theory behind that one is whoever you meet will likely be a better than average individual.

    The stuff you mentioned about exercise and appearance will probably do more than a car.

    Good luck.

    Edit I looked up price of Dodge Challenger SCAT. My experience says you probably want the sort of woman who wants that $ amount in the bank than in a car.
     
    M2roadwarrior and dented like this.
  16. Obsessed

    Obsessed Telefied Silver Supporter

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    +1 Yup, if you like yourself, others will like you too.
     
  17. Mandocaster68

    Mandocaster68 Tele-Meister

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    Forget getting a motorized vehicle. Get a canoe, kayak or bicycle. Get out of town and use your new toy. You will meet people out there.
     
  18. Octorfunk

    Octorfunk Tele-Holic

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    I agree with others, the vehicle is a non-issue. A 2016 truck says that you have it together enough at your age to have a newer vehicle, aka you are a responsible adult who has his stuff together enough to be able to afford something nice (no disrespect to lesser vehicles, I've driven many lol).

    Getting in shape will improve your self-confidence and general outlook on life. In gentlemanly terms, it will make you not feel like a loser when you look in the mirror (another lesson gained from 100% personal experience lol).

    If appearance/clothing is an issue, it's not beneath you (or anyone else) to go somewhere where someone can pick some stuff out for you that's current and age appropriate.

    And who knows, you may just end up meeting someone at the gym while you're working on yourself.
     
    GGardner likes this.
  19. El Serio

    El Serio TDPRI Member

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    I'd buy a minivan
     
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  20. telemnemonics

    telemnemonics Telefied Ad Free Member

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    Oddly enough, younger women talk to me about their men issues.

    AFAIK women interested in relationships are generally not attracted to, and often even put off by:

    Men with big muscles
    Men with flashy manly styled cars
    Men who pay attention to their own muscles, cars, trucks or bikes when women can see them doing so

    While it’s true that women like men’s bodies that are in good shape, the confusing thing for us men is that women don’t like it when we obsess over our awesome muscles.
    Also the more awesome our muscles, the smaller the number of women actually like it.

    Similarly women like it if we are able to own a good car and some think bikes are cool, almost none like to see us obsess over those displays of self ascribed man enhancement through such adornments. Including weight lifting muscles.

    Look good and have good, but pretend none of that matters to us.

    Make THEM be what matters.
    But not TOO much!
    Gottit???
    Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
     
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