Alcoholism

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by Phrygian77, Sep 11, 2019.

  1. Skydog1010

    Skydog1010 Tele-Holic Ad Free Member

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    I totally understand. I'm taking pills to keep the edge off, but it's not the same, there's no buzz, just another dependency. There's no creative release, just time clicking away. I think I get it.

    I just got to the point where the bottle was going to totally drown me.

    If I got news of a end of life event on my near horizon, I'd leave the doctors office and stop at the ABC store first and Bodega for smokes second.
     
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  2. Phrygian77

    Phrygian77 Tele-Afflicted

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    Well, I felt like this for a very long time. Like I've said, I've broken ribs and had no idea how. Then one day you wake up, start getting ready for work, and the next thing you know you're heart feels like it's about to explode. You're shaking all over, and your mind goes blank. Like being dizzy, but you can't think straight. You can't even use your phone to make a call. All I could do was go to my girlfriend and say, "I need to go to the hospital."

    Good luck, man.
     
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  3. Phrygian77

    Phrygian77 Tele-Afflicted

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    I've felt this way too. Terminal cancer? Yeah, just pump me full of Ativan and whatever else. Maybe one last taste of Jack, and let me be on my marry way out.

    I think about it though and it seems so selfish. There are others here that love me, and more that depend on what I do. I don't want to checkout so easily.

    Although, I probably would need a little Ativan to deal with it... lol
     
    Last edited: Sep 12, 2019
  4. Skydog1010

    Skydog1010 Tele-Holic Ad Free Member

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    Well said. In reality there's no easy way out. Yep I have family and friends and they will want to remember me fighting for every second with them and my work.
     
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  5. Phrygian77

    Phrygian77 Tele-Afflicted

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    Good stuff, man! That's what I love about country music, real life. It's interesting listening to country and other roots music from back in the day, because you're hearing people singing about real life, while on the other hand, what was portrayed on TV mostly fake.
     
    Last edited: Sep 13, 2019
  6. jsnwhite619

    jsnwhite619 Friend of Leo's

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    One of my uncles I mentioned has to take Ativan for blood pressure/heart issues. He's high strung anyway and had his first mechanical valve put in back in '94. He's early 70's now. He has to, but I can definitely see the difference it makes in him. He always drank a lot, but ativan puts him in a different place than the alcohol ever did. His quick wit, sharp mind, whole personality is different. Just slower and subdued. I know he has to take it, but he definitely isn't the same person.

    Not trying to tell you that one is better or worse than the other, but don't let the ativan become a replacement. You might not know it or realize it, but it still can make you a different person.
     
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  7. jsnwhite619

    jsnwhite619 Friend of Leo's

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    I've got a few drinking songs. They're all on the losing end!

     
  8. Toto'sDad

    Toto'sDad Telefied Ad Free Member

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    I can't offer anything to this thread other than sympathy for those who are fighting a battle they don't seem to be able to win. Though I drank a lot of whiskey and spent dollars and time paying for it, I guess in the end I was just a drunk, and not an alcoholic, because one day I just quit, and never went back to the bottle again. That was almost twenty two years ago. A guy from Alcoholics Anonymous once said that I was not cured of my alcoholism, I was just a dry drunk. Whether that's true or not, I don't know, but I do know I haven't had an a$$ kicking from the police, or a ride in a Crown Victoria for a very long time. I'll take whatever it is that keeps me from drinking, and be thankful for it. I wish those of you who have drug and alcohol problems the very best in your quest to make your lives better.
     
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  9. thunderbyrd

    thunderbyrd Poster Extraordinaire Silver Supporter

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    i am just going to lay down and watch an episode of columbo tonight. i don't know if i an an alcoholic or not. please be easy on me.
     
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  10. Teleguy61

    Teleguy61 Friend of Leo's

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    Self-medication to deal with mental health issues is a primary gateway to addiction.
     
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  11. Phrygian77

    Phrygian77 Tele-Afflicted

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    I guess we could debate about the necessity of benzodiazepines. I think they've probably helped a lot more people than they've hurt. They helped me, and I was clean for a while, but those old triggers brought me back to alcohol. Then, the continued use of lorazepam became somewhat of a problem, because it not only loses it's effectiveness, coming off of it has similar effects to withdrawing from alcohol. It's a double edged sword.
     
  12. L.A. Mike

    L.A. Mike Tele-Afflicted

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    I won't go into the reasons for addiction. That can vary from individual to individual.
    The bottom line is, addiction takes over.

    The following film explains all about addiction. I've seen a bunch of films about it and read a lot about it, but this video is the best in my opinion.
    As far as brain chemistry changes, he gets into that between 35 and 50 minutes. His explanation of what happens to the brain is a bit clinical, but he is a medical doctor so that's to be expected.
    The "Hedonic level" explanation is easy to understand and makes it all clear.

    It's a bit lengthy, but I highly suggest anyone wanting to understand addiction should watch this video.
     
  13. jsnwhite619

    jsnwhite619 Friend of Leo's

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    I'll be honest with you, the only reason I'm even involved with this topic is because I've seen your work at Shock Brothers, and it's nice work. I don't know you, never met you, and probably never will, but I think enough of your work to try to maybe give you some words of advice or encouragement. And lots of others have as well. But, this is just people who don't even know you trying to help out. I'm sure people around you that you do know would be more than open to help. Even if it's just sober people to spend time with.

    Everyone is different -- how much, how often, how far..... I'm 35, probably 4 years ago I went to the Indy 500 with my brother in law and father in law; we camped there at the track from Thursday night til Monday morning. From Thursday night til Sunday night, me and my brother in law went through a total of 3x 30 packs of Miller Lite, a half gallon each of bourbon, and a fifth of vodka for bloody mary's. That Tuesday when I woke up was the first time I ever "needed" a drink and I put a splash of bourbon in my coffee after my wife said "what is wrong with you?". That was after a 3 day bender. But, we both saw the races, museum, hung out, went to St. Elmo's Steakhouse, met people (some guys we met from Australia have flown over twice since then), never got into fights, or lost, or had to be taken care of, and both of us have great memories of the whole trip. We just burned it both ends with 18-19 hour days. And this is Augusta...try gigging 5-6 nights in a row during Masters week and not need to dry out at the end.

    Is it healthy? Hell no. Did it cause any problems while we were there? No. Did we keep that pace after we got home? NOPE. But, if I'd returned home with unknown broken ribs, peed in a neighbors tent, and the withdrawals sent me to the hospital....that would be a hard maybe for making changes.
     
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  14. Mike Eskimo

    Mike Eskimo Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

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    As good a song for the moment as I know. The gals think they’re powerless too.

     
  15. Phrygian77

    Phrygian77 Tele-Afflicted

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    I've seen and appreciate your work too, which is exactly why I responded directly to your post.
     
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  16. tlp123

    tlp123 Tele-Meister

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    Yes that's a factor.

    Just know that everyone is uniquely slightly different.

    As with so many things "one size doesn't fit all".

    What works for me may not work for you.

    I can tell you I reached a point where I finally decided that the only one who could change my situation was me. It is a decision that starts and ends with me. It was my decision only. That was the first step.

    Second was deciding that no matter what anyone else opinion(s) was (were) on what I should do, in the end none of that matters as much as figuring out on my own what I wanted to do, and then proceeding to do it. There is an endless number of well meaning people that will recommend many things, but they are not you, and you are not them.

    When things seem hopeless and one is grasping for the proverbial straw, you can easily be led astray. Especially when there is money involved. Beware of the specialists and all others charging for their services to "help" you.

    There is no magic panacea substitute for the strength of your own character. Especially when you have finally identified a reason to do something that is more important to you than anything in your life. Sometimes that reason is selfish, and sometimes not.

    We all possess that strength of character.

    And so do you!

    We just don't always choose how, when and where to exercise it, but it's there!


    Hopefully your threshold of pain is not so high that you have to suffer to the point of expiration, but rather to a point that will force you to decide that freedom from harmful vice is more important that the suffering one incurs being a slave to it.

    When you decide to become free, you absolutely will.

    I guarantee it!

    You will do it. I know you will.
     
  17. Phrygian77

    Phrygian77 Tele-Afflicted

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    Of course. We don't all use the same amps, overdrives, or guitars either. Although, all of us here should have a Tele, right? ;)
     
  18. Phrygian77

    Phrygian77 Tele-Afflicted

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    Hey, thanks for that. I've honestly not paid much attention to her. She's definitely got that Dolly thing going on, which I like.

    Another woman that sings a lot like Dolly ...




    I don't want to end up like Hank or Gram ...

     
  19. Teleguy61

    Teleguy61 Friend of Leo's

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    I sympathize deeply with your plight sir, and wish you well.
    My mother was an alcoholic, and substance abuser, habits she developed through complicit doctors and attempts to control her own mental health issues.
    She was brilliant, and very troubled.
    It is a constant concern for me in my life.
    I wish you well in your quest for help.

    Too often, society--and individuals--have the attitude that addictions are caused by "not being tough enough". And that is just not it.
    That is not it at all.
    It requires understanding and sensitivity on the part of care-givers.
    I wish you well.
     
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  20. Toto'sDad

    Toto'sDad Telefied Ad Free Member

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    My old man was a drunk as long as I knew him. I hope he got straightened out before he kicked the can for the last time, but I seriously doubt he ever did. He beat most of the shilt out of me as a kid, but I can't blame him for anything I ever did in life. We all have choices. If you're tough enough you'll make it, if you aren't you won't. I've seen people blow a lot of money on relatives hellbent on destroying themselves, I can't say I've ever seen it do a whole lot of good.
     
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