I totally understand. I'm taking pills to keep the edge off, but it's not the same, there's no buzz, just another dependency. There's no creative release, just time clicking away. I think I get it. I just got to the point where the bottle was going to totally drown me. If I got news of a end of life event on my near horizon, I'd leave the doctors office and stop at the ABC store first and Bodega for smokes second.