Alcoholism

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by Phrygian77, Sep 11, 2019.

  1. Milspec

    Milspec Friend of Leo's

    Posts:
    3,863
    Joined:
    Feb 15, 2016
    Location:
    Nebraska
    I do understand the difficulty being around it....spent 17 years in the Marines and I have to be one of less than .5% that didin't drink extreme amounts of alcohol on a weekly basis. I was that way because of that promise to my Uncle.

    My Uncle was the coolest person I knew growing up. He was a sailer on an aircraft carrier and would pass through town once a year on his way home when in port. He would stay with us for 3 days and tell incredible stories and always came with gifts. To a 7 year old boy living in a small town in the middle of nowhere, he was like a super hero to me. When I was 10, my family drove by his home on a vacation so we visited him and his family. There wasn't room for my big family so they stayed in a hotel, but I was allowed to stay with my hero Uncle. Well, the second night I was there, that Uncle came home drunk and I mean trashed. My cousins all told me to get into bed and pretend to be asleep, to always act asleep. Uncle came into the bedroom like a wild man and wanted his kids to get up so they could have a drink with him (they were 11 and 13). They both acted like they were asleep until Uncle grabbed one by the hair and dragged him out of bed.

    Both kids were screaming and crying as Uncle slapped the oldest really hard, then punched him. I grabbed the lamp and hit my Uncle in the head 3 times until he crawled out of the room bleeding. I left the house and walked 4 miles to the hotel where my family was at and never wanted to see my Uncle again. Six months later, that Uncle crashed into a station wagon killing a family of 4 while he was drunk. He wrote me a personal letter pouring out his guts, apologizing, and telling me to never follow in his footsteps....to never drink.

    The only time i heard from him again was when I enlisted in the Marines. He sent me a ltter, via my parents, concerned that I would end up being a hard drinker (pretty much the norm for Marines) and warned me once again. He also said that he laughed when he found out that the 10 year old kid that flattened his head would join the Marines. I have had a few drinks, but everytime another was offerred I would always see my Uncle's face and walk away.

    That face kept me sober when all those around me were not. I guess that might have been the one good thing my Uncle did in his life, because I sure could have become a heavy drinker otherwise.
     
  2. stratoman1

    stratoman1 Tele-Afflicted

    Posts:
    1,792
    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2016
    Location:
    Virginia Beach, Va
    I'll add this as well. Once I admitted I really was that guy in the mirror, with the potentially fatal health issues that came with it things just really focused. But that's a whole long story in itself that I dont want to sidetrack your thread with

    Number one


    As you get going there will be a few things to look out for. I think one of the biggest hurdles can actually be your friends that still drink. You don't have to avoid them but you really should limit time with them. The reason I say that is because you are starting to do something that a lot of them would like to do or have tried and failed. So you will hear all the " you'll never quit" type nonsense and whatever else they want to throw your way simply because when you do and they can't they feel bad. And misery loves company

    Number two

    At some point you'll likely backslide once or twice . DO NOT LET THAT BEAT YOU. Use it for motivation. If I can beat it you can too

    Number three

    It really does take awhile for it to sink in . You'll start feeling better physically fairly quickly. But if you've been a long time heavy drinker the mental aspect takes some time. It took almost a year for me to really have the fog clear . But once that happened I knew there was no going back. I felt like a whole new ma . I started having money again, people stopped avoiding me and even better, my playing leaped ahead again

    A couple of times I've dreamt that i got all drunk again. That honestly scared me to death. Just to think that after all this time i could ruin it. Nope, not happening

    Treat this like the fight of your life that is and you'll do fine
     
  3. Frodebro

    Frodebro Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

    Age:
    49
    Posts:
    14,345
    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2012
    Location:
    Seattle
    This might also be somewhat of an encouragement/motivator: The only time I ever think about alcohol is when it comes up in conversations or threads such as this one. It literally isn't even a thought for me anymore, and hasn't been for well over a decade.

    When I was getting ready to check into rehab back in 2006, I called my old drummer to talk to him about it as he had quit a few years prior to that. He said one simple thing, probably without even thinking about it, and it somehow became the anchor for me for quite a few months when I was getting started on my journey. He said "It's tough at first, but then one day you'll happen to cut through the beer aisle at the store and you won't even notice what's there." Crazy, I know, but that one little statement gave me a goal, and sure enough I found it to be true.
     
  4. aging_rocker

    aging_rocker Tele-Meister

    Posts:
    137
    Joined:
    May 8, 2019
    Location:
    The upsidedown
    That is probably the best piece of advice you'll get all day.
     
    Fiesta Red and tubedood like this.
  5. El Famoso

    El Famoso Tele-Meister

    Posts:
    192
    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2016
    Location:
    Nashville
    Good luck man.

    Sober 3 months now. Hardest part was making peace with the idea of never drinking again. I quit once for 2 years just to prove to myself I could, but I wasn't ready to admit then that I had a problem with alcohol, and just needed to stop and never go back. Found myself lying to my family and hiding the money I spent. Bad scene. Lucky to have lots of support.

    Going to meetings is helping me a lot. I'm not an AA kind of person, but there are a lot of other free support groups out there. Mostly it helps me to be actively quitting, instead of passively trying not to drink.

    Whatever works is great. Also it's nice to see lots of other stories out there. A bunch of recovering addicts on a musicians forum? Never woulda thought...:D
     
    Phrygian77 likes this.
  6. Frodebro

    Frodebro Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

    Age:
    49
    Posts:
    14,345
    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2012
    Location:
    Seattle
    I made it a point to never look at it in that way, it was much easier to take the "One Day At A Time/Just For Today" approach. I guess that's why it's such a popular phrase.
     
    Deeve, william tele and Phrygian77 like this.
  7. El Famoso

    El Famoso Tele-Meister

    Posts:
    192
    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2016
    Location:
    Nashville
    The thought of never having another drink scared the crap out of me. I had to think about it long and hard. But ultimately I knew I had to make that choice. And it was necessary for me to think about it in those terms to really commit myself. But other approaches are just as good as mine.

    I fully support whatever works. And yeah, I tell myself "lets just get through today without drinking." You're right. It helps a lot.
     
  8. Mark the Moose

    Mark the Moose Tele-Meister

    Age:
    44
    Posts:
    412
    Joined:
    Sep 4, 2018
    Location:
    Erie, CO
    Get some counseling, addiction often follows deeper mental health issues. Get some good friends around you who can support you, it’s hard to go it alone. Find the good things in life that help overcome the stresses of life. It’s worth the work!
     
    Gigante_Miguel and Phrygian77 like this.
  9. Frodebro

    Frodebro Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

    Age:
    49
    Posts:
    14,345
    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2012
    Location:
    Seattle
    I had similar fears when I was in the process of quitting, but I think it was more the fear of the unknown and facing a huge lifestyle change than it was the actual drinking part. Drinking had become the lifestyle for me-all of my 'friends' were heavy drinkers, and all of my social activities involved drinking. It was my world, all that I knew. I didn't know what else there was. Giving up drinking meant giving up, well, everything that I knew. That was a really tough pill to swallow. I broke ties with all of my drinking associates back then, and in some cases it was a permanent break. Others I avoided for a while until I was ready to be around them without alcohol being a danger to me.

    I essentially wound up casting away my old life and 'creating' a new one, but the new one was based on a different set of principles and values, and has taken me much further than I ever would have imagined.
     
    LKB3rd, El Famoso, dan1952 and 4 others like this.
  10. dan1952

    dan1952 Friend of Leo's

    Age:
    66
    Posts:
    4,218
    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2004
    Location:
    Anderson, IN
    Alcoholism is a *****. My mom had 3 alcoholic brothers and recognized it in me when i was 16. Finally got clean for good about 5 years ago, after detox twice and several thousand AA meetings. My hands are so steady now that I can solder first thing in the morning or last thing at night. I have a great friend from the program who still goes to meetings, although I haven't been for a while (hate any meetings in general). But all it takes to have a meeting is two drunks and a pot of coffee, so they say. The steps work. Surround yourself with sober people. After awhile you'll wonder why it took you so long. Keep at it. You can do it!
     
  11. CV Jee Beez

    CV Jee Beez Tele-Holic

    Posts:
    631
    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2016
    Location:
    Duarte, CA
    Best of luck!
     
    Phrygian77 likes this.
  12. Phrygian77

    Phrygian77 Tele-Afflicted

    Posts:
    1,723
    Joined:
    Apr 30, 2016
    Location:
    Crawfordville, FL
    You got some stuff online? Recording was also a hobby of mine, years ago. I wish I had done it live miked. I almost always used a J Station, or some other modeling amp. It kills me now, but sounded it sounded okay at the the time. The last Vibro Champ I built could have been the ultimate recording amp. I sold it to a local, who's bought a couple of my Princeton Reverb builds.
     
    LKB3rd likes this.
  13. Phrygian77

    Phrygian77 Tele-Afflicted

    Posts:
    1,723
    Joined:
    Apr 30, 2016
    Location:
    Crawfordville, FL
    This guy is in rougher shape than I am, we did this back in 2011. I wish I could have finished it with him. This is my Fralin loaded P-92 T-Deluxe build into a Behringer V-Amp Pro. It was all scratch tracks that I decided to throw together for a demo, because I really wanted something out of all that time invested. In reality, it was a sorry song, with terrible lyrics and singing, but I wanted to support him all the way because he was a GREAT guitar player.

    Look up Jamie Eubanks. Great kid that unfortunately suffered a head trauma injury in his youth, and that really messed him up in the end.

     
    Last edited: Sep 12, 2019
    william tele likes this.
  14. 24 track

    24 track Doctor of Teleocity Silver Supporter

    Posts:
    13,904
    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2014
    Location:
    kamloops bc
    there is some great advise in this thread , I wish you all the most sincere of best wishes in dealing with these issues.

    beyond the social aspects of drinking there are the health related stuff thats hard to get past , then there is ths underlying mess of it all in the personal lives of those affected and effected by it , this disease can be cured but it takes a massive strength of character and huge external support to beat this. It can be done, and it takes a strong person to openly admit the problem the first steps have been taken good on you!
     
  15. JohnnyCrash

    JohnnyCrash Doctor of Teleocity

    Posts:
    10,927
    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2005
    Location:
    Fullerton, CA
    I quit. Just straight up stopped. No medication, no help. About 11 months ago.

    P.A.W.S. (post acute withdrawal syndrome) has been brutal.

    I didn’t know that long term alcoholics (more than twenty years, in my case) shouldn’t just stop like that.

    Like you said, I also have amps to build and Teles to play. So I’m glad I quit, but it’s been a never ending nightmare.

    You’re not alone. Keep at it. One of these days we’ll turn a corner and it’ll be much easier to manage.
     
  16. jsnwhite619

    jsnwhite619 Friend of Leo's

    Age:
    35
    Posts:
    2,450
    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2013
    Location:
    Georgia
    Yeah, it runs in my family. Depression for sure on one side, but my mom's side -- brothers & uncles, etc. who grew up in old school, dry county, rural Georgia - moonshine drinking South. I think I have an evolved tolerance at this point. Several alcoholics, but as you said earlier, everyone kept their jobs, no drinking related health problems (smoking, yes). An uncle from my grandmother's generation drank a quart of Lord Calvert every night for 20 years after he got home from WWII. And went to work the next morning. And just quit one day and never touched another drop. Lived till he was 85 or so.

    Never had straight DT's, but I have experienced the cold sweats, crazy dreams, wake up soaking wet while cold sober withdrawals. Always after a few days of holidays/special events and ALL day drinking....bloody mary morning type stuff. It can be a real wake up call to realize you don't get hangovers anymore, but not drinking can do that to you. Honestly, if you read much medical advice, keeping a few beers around to taper off is recommended if you are having heart/blood pressure issues. It CAN be deadly.

    A sh!+load of water through the day can really help. A lot of the blood pressure issues is often from being dehydrated and your blood running as thick as jello. Lots of water, and maybe an aspirin to thin it and help with headache. Be careful with the prescription - trading one for another isn't a good idea.

    All that being said, everybody is different. I might drink a half pint of whiskey through the night and still keep running a radial arm saw & router table. I know some people who would be missing fingers & arms by then. But, I can do the same thing the next night without it and be fine. I think 15 years of drinking & gigging changed my motor skills or something. That and genetics, but I just ended up with a hell of a tolerance -- for better or worse.

    I definitely wish the best to you. I've always heard "If you think you need to quit, you need to quit." If you need a prescription to quit, and you end up in the hospital when you try, you need to quit. Those same uncles I mentioned....one quit cold turkey because he was tired of it or maybe he finally got over being a B.A.R. man in Italy in WWII. Another was a Vietnam Vet...probably drank a fifth of Black Velvet a day until he was borderline diabetic...quit right then and said it ain't worth that. Some people enjoy it, some people use it, some people need it.
     
    Phrygian77 likes this.
  17. teleman1

    teleman1 Tele-Holic

    Posts:
    963
    Joined:
    May 16, 2003
    Location:
    Arizona
    I once finished a 750 liter bottle of Whiskey drinking it aggressively over a month. That is the most I ever drank and it was more like a shot of sipping whiskey every night. Wanna hang and drink some Wine? Just make sure my head doesn't tilt back;cause I will fall asleep on you. I hear the hit bottom stuff a lot. I hit bottom with sugar and was diagnosed with Type II Diabetes.But it isn't hitting bottom, it is being scared ****less so much you realise;THis is it, I'm done. BOOM, I quit the nastiest of my sugars quiting my 6 pack of Pepsi a day, every day, habit and changed everything else. But it seems like hitting bottom is the the thing that happens with Alcohol. You could see someone killed, loose your home, smash your car with the family in it. But something scaring you ****less won't stop your alcoholism desire
     
    Phrygian77 likes this.
  18. Mike Eskimo

    Mike Eskimo Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

    Posts:
    19,390
    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2008
    Location:
    Detroit
    And you know how people say that when finally get sober (and I really hope you do) and then you’ll be around people drinking again, listening to the garbage flowing from their brains to their mouths and realizing how inane and boring you must have sounded for so much of your life ? That’s true ! :lol:
     
    LKB3rd, Fiesta Red, El Famoso and 2 others like this.
  19. stratoman1

    stratoman1 Tele-Afflicted

    Posts:
    1,792
    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2016
    Location:
    Virginia Beach, Va


    Yup. Which is why I can't stand being around drunk people now. Makes me think, oh crap, I used to be that guy. Well that explains a few things . None of them pleassnt
     
    Fiesta Red, Frodebro and Bodean like this.
  20. muchxs

    muchxs Doctor of Teleocity

    Posts:
    11,559
    Joined:
    Aug 14, 2004
    Location:
    New England
    Another alcoholic decision.

    I'm supposed to be non- judgemental. I know BS when I see it.

    Come to a fork in the road. Responsibility is one way, the excuse is the other.


    I sometimes say,

    "The easy way is hard enough."

    Problem with irony is some people just don't get it.

    Come to a fork in the road. The easy way is one way. It looks like I-80 crossing the salt flats surrounding the Great Salt Lake. Nuthin' but endless straight road until we stop for gas in Skull Valley.

    It's a straight shot from sobriety to...

    Skull Valley.

    The other way is some rocky cowpath behind a ranch gate. It ain't even close to the easy way but it's way we need to go. That's the right way.

    If you've ever been to "the end of the road" in Chloride, New Mexico it's like that. The road doesn't really end. They tell me it's 40 miles through the boonies with plenty of chances to get high- sided, rip the oil pan out on a rock or just plan run outta gas 20 miles from nowhere.

    Doesn't exactly fit the analogy. It's a whole state away from Salt Lake.


    Jamie was an aging Marine. We won't call Jamie an ex- Marine. There is no such creature.

    Jamie was proud to be up and about before dawn each day. Truth be told Jamie needed his first beer before dawn or he'd be into his DTs.

    Jamie had a big lawn. He had a green John Deere lawn mower. They don't come in any other color. It had accessory cup holders mounted all over its cowl.

    Jamie had a fridge filled with cases of Budweiser in cans.

    Jamie's thing was drinking each beer until there was one last swallow left in the can. He'd fling that last swallow away with disdain and disgust. He'd grab the can by its bottom and swing it, hard.

    He said,

    "I hate warm beer."

    See... he didn't need to crack another beer except that last swallow was warm. So he had to crack another beer.

    All day. Every day.


     
    Last edited: Sep 12, 2019
    telemnemonics and 24 track like this.
IMPORTANT: Treat everyone here with respect, no matter how difficult!
No sex, drug, political, religion or hate discussion permitted here.


  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.