Alcoholism

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by Phrygian77, Sep 11, 2019.

  1. geoff_in_nc

    geoff_in_nc Friend of Leo's

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    I'm rooting for you.

    I've got no business giving any advice, but I'll just say my wife's sister died of alcoholism recently. Her ex husband did too a little farther back. Her brother died probably 30 years ago in an alcohol related accident. These things have affected her very deeply. Because of what it has taken away from her I have a dim view of alcohol. I really truly hope you break its grip on you for good.
     
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  2. LKB3rd

    LKB3rd Friend of Leo's

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    I did an intensive outpatient program. The one I went to was from 9am to 1pm 5 days a week, One group every hour, and the groups would shuffle up with different members and focus. My main 1st group counselor was the one who gave the tip about delay and distract.
    It was very helpful to me. I did it for around 6 weeks I think.
    It has the same stuff going on as a rehab center, you just go home when it's over every night.
     
  3. telemnemonics

    telemnemonics Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

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    A man asked me to sponsor him a few years ago, which means basically to assign step work and discuss the process, as well as to talk on the phone about anything going on whether good or bad. A trust building process is essential.
    He was 40 something, wife and three young girls, came to meetings in a Suburban or a Ferrari or on one of his brand new bikes.
    He has sold his high tech optics business and was waiting for the non compete agreement to expire so he could start another business.
    Never been arrested, still had his two homes and a whole lotta expensive toys, marriage was OK but a little strained.

    But in meetings he really struggled because he was so not like most members.
    We did written step work for maybe a year, only the first three steps, but it seemed to be helping.
    When he was ready to start his new business he explained that he really couldn't risk being associated with 12 step recovery because he had to get investors to give him more than $1,000,000 to get the new business going.
    Anonymity is a nice idea and all but that was a lot for him to risk.

    He had brokered a deal to sell some equipment to a Chinese company that makes the crucibles used to form giant amethyst crystals, that then get sliced into sheets for smart phone screens.

    Clearly this guy was not your typical addict or alcoholic!
    Amiright?
    In meetings he looked uncomfortable as hell, sort of hunched and looking at the floor.
    The only thing he had in common with literally any of us was that he couldn't stop using on his own for long.

    In a way I found it hard to "help" a man who for the most part was vastly more successful at life than me.

    But what we had in common was the compulsion to use a substance to fix something, the experience showing that it failed to fix anything, and the repeated going back to it with the same results.

    At this point seven different men have guided me through step work over 21 years, listened to my problems and joys, shared some of theirs including the growingly clear fact that marriage aint easy. Early on I made some poor choices in who I thought could help me!
    My last sponsor died of cancer a year ago.
    I'd met a man at a convention maybe eight years ago and recognized his step work style as being in the same "family" as mine.
    Got his number and learned some stuff about the history of this one group of step work style.
    Last summer was the first time I asked a man to be my sponsor with no fear or trepidation.

    FWIW.

    ...Sounds like a nice officer you encountered trying to sneak out for a smoke!
    Much is funny looking back, though at the time it seemed deadly serious.
    In my first 28 day rehab there were a couple of times when the nurses though I was dead and made a whole lotta noise bringing the crash cart.
    Seems like med professionals are largely (privately) heartbroken by the number of substance abuse patients they lose, and almost all because the patient says they are desperate, yet maintains a list of things they are just not willing to do for their recovery.
    I sure hated meetings for quite a while, hated members and those stupid slogans they all seemed to repeat.

    For most, the idea of "hitting bottom" is the point at which we become willing to do all the things we are told, and stop with the insistence that we are different and don't need all that stuff.
    We can each decide for ourselves exactly how much suffering we must self administer before we become willing to try another way.
     
  4. muchxs

    muchxs Doctor of Teleocity

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    You said,

    And I said,

    Diss AA at your own peril.

    It's a process.

    It doesn't cost anything.

    You're like one of those Guitarcenter riff monsters. You have all the parts. You're just not putting them together.

    Read "Dry."






    "You think you can handle what no one else can handle."
     
  5. telemnemonics

    telemnemonics Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

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    Very true @muchxs that the trajectory of the addict alcoholic will have along it plenty of stuff not yet done, but it is a trajectory that pretty consistently brings us to the things others have attained.

    Those who spent years in prison for stuff like killing a family while driving drunk, used to be one who had never been arrested or lost their job.
     
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  6. fasteddie42

    fasteddie42 Tele-Holic

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    Sending good vibes.


    Seek treatment.

    My cousin is currently dying from alcoholism. He's destoyed multiple people's finances and lives with his actions.

    You don't want that life.
     
  7. JuneauMike

    JuneauMike Friend of Leo's

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    You are under the mistaken impression that you need to hit rock bottom to begin AA. You don't. People have gone to AA even without being ready to acknowledge that they are controlled by alcohol. Everyone in that room is going to be in a different place then you are. It doesn't matter. The one thing all the successful AA members have in common is that they believe they can't stop drinking by themselves. They need a higher power to help them, and they want to be in community with others. That's it. Eventually some of them are lucky enough to inspire others to change too, to just maintain their distance from a really toxic thing in their lives.

    This thread is really uplifting and your post is, I suspect, an important step for you. Wherever you are in your life, it seems like you want to get free from something that hurts you. I hope you find that inspirational force to start walking down a difficult and painful road to a better place. All the best, friend.
     
  8. cottonmike

    cottonmike Tele-Meister

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    "Alkie". I remember that word. That's what my parents would call a black-out drinker. Of course, they were "social drinkers". They didn't take a drink until 5 PM.


    ("It's five o'clock, somewhere")
     
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  9. Shuster

    Shuster Friend of Leo's Silver Supporter

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    Good Luck Brother, I'm know one to give advice, being in the same boat somewhat.
     
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  10. Uncle Daddy

    Uncle Daddy Tele-Holic

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    Understanding the neurochemistry of alcohol addiction is interesting, and can help with understanding your behaviour. Understanding yourself can take a little longer, and often needs assistance. Take it where you can.
     
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  11. studio1087

    studio1087 Telefied Silver Supporter

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    Your scenario is pretty common. I am 100% certain that you can find a meeting that you'll relate to if you go to a few different meetings. Just go.
     
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  12. Fretting out

    Fretting out Tele-Holic

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    Sorry for not reading all the thread I know doctors will give you Librium as a taper for withdrawal had done it myself once I don’t know if that’s Ativan or not,

    AA can be helpful you just have to find one you like , I’m not gonna lie though and say it’s going to miraculously click it isn’t for everyone but actually helped me a lot in the beginning having structure and a place to be at certain time

    Honestly knowing it’s a problem is the first step to changing behavior and you have to find something else to do with that time you drink
    You have to do it for YOU though and YOUR sobriety and being Sober is an important and seemingly selfish job sometimes

    I’m not that old but it took almost taking others lives to get me to turn around I’m rooting for you there’s lots of support in these fellows here and more can relate than we probably know

    I don’t know how this comes out in typing just trying to do what I can
     
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  13. charlie chitlin

    charlie chitlin Doctor of Teleocity Silver Supporter

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    Fiancee?
    If you love her, you won't let her marry an alcoholic.
    If you can't do it for yourself, do it for her.
    Got any kids?
     
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  14. Phrygian77

    Phrygian77 Tele-Afflicted

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    14 year old daughter. Just started high school this year.


    I've had this stuck in my head all afternoon. This album has kept me sane and relaxed this afternoon, when I was depressed and scared.

     
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  15. Mike Eskimo

    Mike Eskimo Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

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    There’s one starting at 6:30 tonight.

    54 Ochlockonee Rd

    Go
     
  16. muchxs

    muchxs Doctor of Teleocity

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    Apologies for Tony Stark aka Iron Man doin' his drunk DJ dance.

    Hope your real world name isn't Bruce...

    Twenty minutes to get to that meeting.
     
  17. Phrygian77

    Phrygian77 Tele-Afflicted

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    It's funny, I'm mainly a roots rock and country guy, but I'm realizing that this album is a masterpiece of a recording.

    A meeting, tonight? I'm not going unless I'm sober. I've got to get over that hurdle first. I'm not sure how that starts yet. More Ativan? More than I've been taking? It doesn't help that much anymore. Seems like I've blown my chance at that, but maybe not, who knows?
     
  18. SwampTwang

    SwampTwang TDPRI Member

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    Find what works for you to get sober, then use that to stay sober. Search your soul to find what that is. Find people that will support you in your sobriety. It took me many years to find the motivation and the support system. Be careful with the Ativan so you don't have get dependent on it or have to detox off that.

    In 4 more days I'll have 7 years clean. Woot! It's still work, but totally worth it. You can do it!
     
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  19. stevemc

    stevemc Tele-Holic

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    good luck op!
     
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  20. Rayf_Brogan

    Rayf_Brogan Tele-Meister

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    Good luck man. Hardest part is deciding which drop is your last. No such thing as a part time alcoholic. It's good to have someone that's gone through recovery to support you.
     
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