You sound like me. That, plus I'm not a joiner of groups. Well, I had to stop drinking because I'm taking medication for depression and anxiety (Zoloft). You shouldn't drink if you're depressed, anyway, although I have to admit the right amount of alcohol tempers anxiety. One thing about AA that doesn't fit into my world view is the whole higher power thing. I will never believe that. I do understand there is a secular version of AA in some places.