Don't worry about labels. It doesn't matter what you call it or don't call it. You sound like you are using alcohol in an unhealthy way, and if it isn't doing it yet, it likely will start to cause problems in your life. They can and will be bigger than your problems you are trying to drown out if you do it long enough. There are other things than alcohol that you can use in the same way. Exercise is great because of the endorphins, but it isn't the only thing. And I don't mean other drugs! Start thinking about these things, and when you decide you are headed toward a place you don't want to be (and it sounds to me like you are) you can stop. You don't need it, although I certainly understand loving being drunk, I used to love it too, and I guess I still would if I did it, but maybe not. Don't waste years drunk that you can't get back is what I'd say, but only you can decide and only you can make changes in your life for the better. Good luck!