Alcoholism

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by Phrygian77, Sep 11, 2019 at 12:58 AM.

  1. Phrygian77

    Phrygian77 Tele-Afflicted

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    Can we talk about that here? In a bad way? 16 years I've been dealing with this. Last year, after Memorial Day weekend, I had to go to the hospital for withdraw symptoms. Heart racing, body shaking, couldn't think straight enough (delirium) to call or text my boss, let alone drive a car. Like the Nathaniel Rateliff song S.O.B., no joke. I had to have my fiancee take me to the hospital. Just happened again a few weeks ago too, that time via ambulance. After lots of out patient therapy, and taking lorazepam off and on over the last year, I finally decided to try to get into an inpatient facility. Just waiting for insurance to approve it.

    The withdraw symptoms are brutal, it starts when your head hits the pillow at night, and the nightmares begin. You wake up covered in sweat, sometimes with a fever, racing to the bathroom with chills, and then back to to the the cold sweaty wet bed.

    It all started when I first got divorced in 2004. Bought a new house in little town south of Tallahassee (where I didn't know anyone at the time), a few beers at night for sleeping self medication. Not such a great idea in the long run.
     
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  2. Jupiter

    Jupiter Telefied Silver Supporter

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    Hang in there man! It's worth it to get clear.
     
  3. Keefsdad

    Keefsdad Tele-Holic

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    But getting help is a great idea. I'm coming up for 5 years sober, it was really tough for a couple of years, now life is really good and i wouldn't trade it for anything. Just don't give up, you can do it.
     
  4. Phrygian77

    Phrygian77 Tele-Afflicted

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    Yeah man, I still got a lot of guitar playing and amp building I want to do!
     
  5. Deeve

    Deeve Friend of Leo's Silver Supporter

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    @Phrygian77 - it won't be long and your private message box will be stuffed w/ personal messages.

    If you're not truly ready (no judgment) the messages will be useless, regardless of how well-drafted.
    And - if it's time, for real, to drop the shovel (stop digging your own grave) even the stupidest-sounding message, like this one, will support your new life.

    Welcome to the life raft.
    Peace - Deeve
     
    Last edited: Sep 11, 2019 at 1:17 AM
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  6. Phrygian77

    Phrygian77 Tele-Afflicted

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    lol.. Well, when you're at the end of your rope, even though there's a little more rope most times (to quote James McMurty), you want to get it off your chest, and talk about it.
     
  7. DonM

    DonM Friend of Leo's Silver Supporter

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    Best of luck to you.
     
  8. Twelvefrets

    Twelvefrets Tele-Meister

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    I wish you strength, but more I wish you peace, your very own private peace. Working on that has kept me sober-and of course never take a moment of grace for granted. Just don’t. My heartfelt wishes for your continued improvement.
     
  9. Milspec

    Milspec Friend of Leo's

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    I watched it destroy my Uncle and the brother of a good friend. What-ever you have to do to gain control is worth it. I never ended up there because I promised my Uncle that I wouldn't follow his example and I am reminded of his battle everytime a drink is put in front of me. He is the reason I don't take that drink. I think you need something like that to help you fight....in any fight really. You just have to have that concrete incentive to lean on when needed.

    Keep fighting, and best of luck
     
  10. RodeoTex

    RodeoTex Poster Extraordinaire

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    Hang in drudda. I understand.
    Message sent.
     
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  11. Phrygian77

    Phrygian77 Tele-Afflicted

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    I can't blame it on anyone but me, not my divorce either. When I started playing country music, and my southern pride also, I wore it like a badge ... Jack Daniels. It takes A LOT to get me inebriated these days, but I never feel like I'm giving 100% to anything anymore ... well, except my amp building.
     
  12. telemnemonics

    telemnemonics Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

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    There's a years old thread about being clean & sober that comes up now and then, seems like the mods let it run if we can stick to dealing with the problem rather than telling party stories, and also avoid fighting. Some will pop in and tell us we're just lazy and of low moral character. We can ignore them!

    I was pretty much where you are but 21 years ago.
    Opiates are a bear to withdraw from but booze may be worse. I think you'll get past withdrawal sooner though, where I was sick for easily six months. And detoxed 12 times in the last year before not going back to it.

    A key seems to be that staying sober is harder than getting sober.
    There are lots of paid rehab programs and new ones pop up regularly.
    While many claim AA "doesn't work for them", plenty more get sober with the 12 steps, and it seems to be the one solution that has a better track record than any other. Plus it's free, it has some beneficial side effects, you can find it in almost any town, and after you leave you're not alone like when you get out of the rehab and wake up at 2am desperate for a drink. There will be AA members who will talk you through not having a drink at all hours of day or night. If you get some phone numbers and call them.

    Worth checking out!

    Just go with the fact that many of us were right where you are and got through with some outside help.
    You never have to have another drink!
    If that's what you want, you can do it.
    With some help.
     
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  13. old wrench

    old wrench Tele-Holic

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    I'm wishing you all the best.

    Try to make the most of your time in the inpatient program and try to do your best to keep an open mind.
    I ended up in detox in 2006. It wasn't my first time in detox, but the difference was I did my best to try and keep an open mind that time.

    I'm still hanging in there 13 years later, still clean, still sober, a day at a time.

    It's pretty amazing what we can do for a 24 hour period ;).







    g
     
  14. Misty Mountain

    Misty Mountain Tele-Meister

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    Don't drink and go to AA meetings. It works.
     
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  15. Phrygian77

    Phrygian77 Tele-Afflicted

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    My deal with AA was that I couldn't relate to most of those people. I hadn't lost my job, been arrested, lost my loved ones, etc. I just couldn't put down the drink, physically.
     
  16. skunqesh

    skunqesh Tele-Meister

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    Made me think of this old dirge


    best of luck - and kudos. at least you've acknowledged the old situation isn't doing you any good.
    chemical dependance is very near impossible to break without help.
    greater freedom (and much better sleep) are side effects of kicking that monkey to the curb.
    hang in there.
     
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  17. Phrygian77

    Phrygian77 Tele-Afflicted

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    Withdrawing from alcohol is one of the most dangerous things. It all depends on how much you've been drinking. 10 Years ago I walked away cold turkey when my girlfriend got a DUI. Now, cold turkey will put me in the hospital.
     
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  18. Phrygian77

    Phrygian77 Tele-Afflicted

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    And, by the way, they won't do anything except give you some Ativan while you're there. While you are there, period. So you you have to follow up with your PCP to get further treatment.
     
  19. william tele

    william tele Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

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    First time I heard that SOB song it really does convey what I'd imagine a fight between alcohol and your soul would sound like. I hope you decide to give it up. Go through that hell one more time. If you are going through withdrawls of that magnitude you're gonna need to leave it behind you. I don't have any magic bullet...just words of love and encouragement for a better life.

    Anyway, I sure loved my time spent down in your neck of the woods. I had to stop and look at all those trucks lined up along that one road. "Rust in peace"...it was like a little shrine!

    Get better, friend!
     
  20. Phrygian77

    Phrygian77 Tele-Afflicted

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    My paternal grandfather died when my dad (born in '46) was 12 in a car crash. He was a World War II veteran, hooked on morphine, and an alcoholic. My dad was forever the straight and narrow because of that, but I grew up around other alcoholics, and the gene was there to help foster it.
     
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