Alcohol: A life ruiner

PennyroyalFrog

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I'm not sure where to start, but alcohol abuse, ie: addiction, has screwed up my life so many times. I've had the least amount of drink over the past few weeks (three days of drinking maybe?), but in that time I managed to ruin another friendship while intoxicated. I seem to only find girlfriends (or an ex-wife) that are alcoholics too.

I won't get into my whole journey as it will end up verbose knowing me, but I didn't start getting the euphoric sensation of alcohol until I was 30 years old, and I will be 40 soon. I've lost several friends from them not being able to deal with my drunk behavior, and I put a significant strain on my family at times. I started out as a happy drunk, but that changed over the years. I will say I never physically hurt anybody while drunk.

I have tried to get into rehab centers to detox, but they don't take my insurance. I was at a hospital a few weeks back which prompted the semi-sober phase. I was there because I texted a friend about committing suicide, and they called the police. They did not see me as an imminent threat to myself so they didn't keep me, but I asked them if I could detox there in a patient room. They said, "sure!" Turned out though that they do not offer detox there. Doctors tend to move from hospital to hospital in any given day of the week so I guess this doctor got confused.

I've been to probably over 50 AA meetings over the years, mostly because my ex-wife was a severe drunk, but she's been sober for six years now. I'm proud of her, but I have some animosity toward her like most exes. Different AA meetings are, well, different. Some are good, some are not, but they rarely do much good for me. I will say my girlfriend got sober and has been for over a month now, and she did so with assistance with apps on the phone.

Anyway, I view addiction like credit: You can pay it off now, or you can pay the minimum fee periodically until your debt becomes so bad you can't have the things you dream of. (I realize credit does not always work like that but it was the best analogy that I can think of right now.) Point is, in the words of Jane's Addiction, "I'm gonna kick tomorrow." Kick today. I think every addict thinks, "just this one last time," but nope.

EDIT: This is an hour after the post above, but I am not saying everybody that drinks alcohol is in trouble but rather addicts are. I of course am not advocating prohibition (where there's demand there's supply; it worked out not so well in the US from 1920 to 1933). Consult a doctor if you feel at risk.

 
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Deeve

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:cry:Heck, all I needed was for things to get bad enough that I was willing to attend those darn church-basement meetings to learn how the other people stopped feeling so bad.

Edit - I've looked at my post again and fear it sounds too "breezy" - no - the sh#t had to get real bad/sad/mad, before I was in the mood for a change. I would be glad to say more specifically via PM if it would be useful.

Peace - Deeve
 
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Weazel

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As I empathise with your struggles, I do not understand how a post on a random guitar forum will help you.

I will propose that you approach this hands on, with real people, in real life, in real time.

Disclaimer: I am now speaking as a therapist, and that is a first for me on this forum. And as therapists go, YMMV as always.
 

johnny k

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As I empathise with your struggles, I do not understand how a post on a random guitar forum will help you.

I will propose that you approach this hands on, with real people, in real life, in real time.

Disclaimer: I am now speaking as a therapist, and that is a first for me on this forum. And as therapists go, YMMV as always.
There are several posts dealing with addictions. Maybe you missed them. I posted one called alcohol withdrawal.
 

PennyroyalFrog

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As I empathise with your struggles, I do not understand how a post on a random guitar forum will help you.

I will propose that you approach this hands on, with real people, in real life, in real time.

Disclaimer: I am now speaking as a therapist, and that is a first for me on this forum. And as therapists go, YMMV as always.
It's just a PSA really, hence the "The More You Know." This is in the Bad Dog Cafe forum, which is a topic not necessarily related to guitars, but guitarists, lawyers, doctors, athletes, salesmen, et cetera struggle with alcoholism/addiction. Just sharing my struggles is all :)
 

johnny k

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It's just a PSA really, hence the "The More You Know." This is in the Bad Dog Cafe forum, which is a topic not necessarily related to guitars, but guitarists, lawyers, doctors, athletes, salesmen, et cetera struggle with alcoholism/addiction. Just sharing my struggles is all :)
Yeah we even have a gun recoil thread in case a bear invade your home
 

wulfenganck

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This is a serious matter and I sincerely hope you'll be able to break your patterns.
I think I was lucky enough to have a stable background with family and friends. I had my share of drunk moments and some of them were quite embarassing, but I never lost it in a sense of a blackout, where I'm missing a couple of hours. I never did anything stronger than a joint back in the days. I smoked for about 17 years, but I was able to quit in 2005 and never went back - although I had a tough first year.

I don't think I'm somehow "stronger" or less at risk for addiction by predestination, I guess it's maybe because my life as a whole was (and is) properly balanced. I had my share of bad moments - broken relationships, failures in education or job, promising bands that tanked, losing friends and loved-ones to untimely deaths. But I always had something in my pocket to rely on and someone having my back to get through tough times.

I hope you'll make it!
 

24 track

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I'm not sure where to start, but alcohol abuse, ie: addiction, has screwed up my life so many times. I've had the least amount of drink over the past few weeks (three days of drinking maybe?), but in that time I managed to ruin another friendship while intoxicated. I seem to only find girlfriends (or an ex-wife) that are alcoholics too.

I won't get into my whole journey as it will end up verbose knowing me, but I didn't start getting the euphoric sensation of alcohol until I was 30 years old, and I will be 40 soon. I've lost several friends from them not being able to deal with my drunk behavior, and I put a significant strain on my family at times. I started out as a happy drunk, but that changed over the years. I will say I never physically hurt anybody while drunk.

I have tried to get into rehab centers to detox, but they don't take my insurance. I was at a hospital a few weeks back which prompted the semi-sober phase. I was there because I texted a friend about committing suicide, and they called the police. They did not see me as an imminent threat to myself so they didn't keep me, but I asked them if I could detox there in a patient room. They said, "sure!" Turned out though that they do not offer detox there. Doctors tend to move from hospital to hospital in any given day of the week so I guess this doctor got confused.

I've been to probably over 50 AA meetings over the years, mostly because my ex-wife was a severe drunk, but she's been sober for six years now. I'm proud of her, but I have some animosity toward her like most exes. Different AA meetings are, well, different. Some are good, some are not, but they rarely do much good for me. I will say my girlfriend got sober and has been for over a month now, and she did so with assistance with apps on the phone.

Anyway, I view addiction like credit: You can pay it off now, or you can pay the minimum fee periodically until your debt becomes so bad you can't have the things you dream of. (I realize credit does not always work like that but it was the best analogy that I can think of right now.) Point is, in the words of Jane's Addiction, "I'm gonna kick tomorrow." Kick today. I think every addict thinks, "just this one last time," but nope.


the first step to fixing an issue is to know of its exsistence, youve done that next comes the desire and commitment to do so , here is where you must be honest and remove any false expectations of yourself,

It takes strentgth and a ton inner fortitude to do this , some are capable to rise above it on their own but all will need support along the way , Network some people who are there to help you struggle . once you get past the gates of hell and can stand upright again , the healing will commence in ernest, but you need to fix you first.

A ton of best wishes to the sucess you've taken the first step .
 

Weazel

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There are several posts dealing with addictions. Maybe you missed them. I posted one called alcohol withdrawal.
There might of course be several posts about addictions. I simply chimed in on this particular one as it showed up in the new post section.

My point was to try to point (!) out that I (as a therapist) do not think posting something like this will turn out to be the solution to the problem, as I believe problems of all sorts are best solved within the real life environment, ie people, familiy, friends, professionals.

I understand of course that posting something like this on a friendly forum may be the beginning of the process, and that has a value on its own.

Disclaimer: English is not my native language, and I apologise for any misuse of terminology.
 

Weazel

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It's just a PSA really, hence the "The More You Know." This is in the Bad Dog Cafe forum, which is a topic not necessarily related to guitars, but guitarists, lawyers, doctors, athletes, salesmen, et cetera struggle with alcoholism/addiction. Just sharing my struggles is all :)
I appreciate that, and I hope my respons did not come across unfriendly, PennyroyalFrog.
 

johnny k

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There might of course be several posts about addictions. I simply chimed in on this particular one as it showed up in the new post section.

My point was to try to point (!) out that I (as a therapist) do not think posting something like this will turn out to be the solution to the problem, as I believe problems of all sorts are best solved within the real life environment, ie people, familiy, friends, professionals.

I understand of course that posting something like this on a friendly forum may be the beginning of the process, and that has a value on its own.

Disclaimer: English is not my native language, and I apologise for any misuse of terminology.
I think the OP shared his problems, and let's face it, we do have addictions, especially among musicians. Your english is better than mine ! But i am french so this goes without saying.
 

highwaycat

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I’m with ya buddy I’ve gone two and a half years without booze longest gone since I was 12.
I still don’t mind talking to drinkers though, I also don’t think it’s a big deal talking about it.
By the beach drinking isn’t really frowned upon. It’s easy to get caught up with the sweet nightlife.
I was getting health problems from booze so I quit but I’m still a highwaycat.
Focus on your hobbies health and work.
Honestly I’m not exactly sure how I quiet, these past two years have been the most difficult personally but I did it somehow.
I don’t miss it much but I miss dancing with the pretty ladies.
 

basher

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Dude, read This Naked Mind: Control Alcohol, Find Freedom, Discover Happiness & Change Your Life by Annie Grace. It’s a quick read, and it will help you develop the mental habits to not want the stuff anymore.

Pro tip: You can still dance with pretty ladies when you’re sober! More of them, likely, since you won’t be a gross sweaty drunk.

 

dented

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I'm not sure where to start, but alcohol abuse, ie: addiction, has screwed up my life so many times. I've had the least amount of drink over the past few weeks (three days of drinking maybe?), but in that time I managed to ruin another friendship while intoxicated. I seem to only find girlfriends (or an ex-wife) that are alcoholics too.

I won't get into my whole journey as it will end up verbose knowing me, but I didn't start getting the euphoric sensation of alcohol until I was 30 years old, and I will be 40 soon. I've lost several friends from them not being able to deal with my drunk behavior, and I put a significant strain on my family at times. I started out as a happy drunk, but that changed over the years. I will say I never physically hurt anybody while drunk.

I have tried to get into rehab centers to detox, but they don't take my insurance. I was at a hospital a few weeks back which prompted the semi-sober phase. I was there because I texted a friend about committing suicide, and they called the police. They did not see me as an imminent threat to myself so they didn't keep me, but I asked them if I could detox there in a patient room. They said, "sure!" Turned out though that they do not offer detox there. Doctors tend to move from hospital to hospital in any given day of the week so I guess this doctor got confused.

I've been to probably over 50 AA meetings over the years, mostly because my ex-wife was a severe drunk, but she's been sober for six years now. I'm proud of her, but I have some animosity toward her like most exes. Different AA meetings are, well, different. Some are good, some are not, but they rarely do much good for me. I will say my girlfriend got sober and has been for over a month now, and she did so with assistance with apps on the phone.

Anyway, I view addiction like credit: You can pay it off now, or you can pay the minimum fee periodically until your debt becomes so bad you can't have the things you dream of. (I realize credit does not always work like that but it was the best analogy that I can think of right now.) Point is, in the words of Jane's Addiction, "I'm gonna kick tomorrow." Kick today. I think every addict thinks, "just this one last time," but nope.

EDIT: This is an hour after the post above, but I am not saying everybody that drinks alcohol is in trouble but rather addicts are. I of course am not advocating prohibition (where there's demand there's supply; it worked out not so well in the US from 1920 to 1933). Consult a doctor if you feel at risk.


Thanks so much for speaking up and sharing your story. I can't give you advice but I can wish you strength and courage to defeat your demon. Best wishes. Also this forum is about everyone and everything. We are always interested in your posts. dented
 

4pickupguy

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Good luck and hang in there. I was stuck in Japan during the Zombie Apocalypse and the only restaurant that remained open was a bar also.
Habit was giving way to addiction but, I was able to break the cycle. It got scary there for a while.
 

Spox

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Quit now. The first year is really important as after six months you may think that you've got it beat and decide to reward yourself with a drink, don't. Set a target of the next five years sober and once you achieve that set a target of the next ten years sober etc.

You may find yourself replacing it with another addiction, with me it was caffeine and weed and I quit both three years later. Try to make it a constructive hobby rather than a food/drink/substance. Be supportive of your girlfriend and you'll hopefully get the same in return from her, both of you can do this this, she's a month further down the road than you are.

I'll be twenty five years off booze at end of this year and twenty one (edit, twenty two) years off caffeine and weed. My life is far from perfect but I'm alive.
 

teletail

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Been there. When you’re ready to quit, you’ll find a way. Until then, you’ll find excuses.

For the non-addicts, this may sound harsh, but having been there, I know that there are 1,001 excuses why you can’t quit. Addicts don’t need coddling, they need a reality check.

Good luck, it’s not easy, but in 30 years I’ve never woken up wishing I’d been out drinking the night before.
 




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