AITA? Guests coming for 4 days, and one day before arrival tell me so is their dog.

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nvilletele

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So I know this isn’t Reddit but I feel like asking if anyone thinks I am the A/H in this situation.

Months ago my college buddy tells me he’ll be in town this week for a company meeting, and asks if he can stay with me over the weekend. I say of course, as I love the guy and we’ve been close for many many years.

But I do not care for his second wife. They stayed here once, and it was a debacle. I had a barbecue with lots of friends over while they were here, she got roaring drunk and insulted everyone and acted like a complete @ss, and broke one of my nicest wine glasses and lit (and left) candles burning in the guest room during peak fire season not long after I almost had my house burn down in a wildfire. And that was just one particular day. His kid (from his late wife), who I am very close with, can’t stand her and has pretty much severed her relationship with her dad. And to be clear, the new wife is also fairly objectionable when sober.

So that’s the history. I didn’t know that she would be coming with him on this trip until last week, though I guess I always knew it was a possibility. I figured I would just suck it up and put up with her since it’s his wife and all that. I would be a hospitable host.

They are scheduled to arrive tomorrow and stay for four nights. But tonight he tells me she is driving down tomorrow so she can bring her dog with here. To my home. For four nights. I had never imagined this was on the agenda.

I love dogs and cats but I have have no pets and I want no pets. And I don’t want any pets in my house, even for a short time, since, as they say, sh*t happens. Lots of other things happen too. Dogs in new surroundings are known to mark territory. And I don’t want any such things happening in my house, where I have collected a lot of nice furnishings and frankly don’t want any pet mess of any kind, or even any pet hair. I know it won’t kill me, and lots of stuff can be cleaned up, but that’s just how I like to keep my house.

They knew months ago they would be coming, but only tell me the night before that they will be bringing her dog? To me, that is just wrong for any guest to do.

So I decided I would not put up with it, as I would be pissed off at her the whole time for taking advantage of me in this way if they stayed with the dog. Especially given how she acted he last time she was here. And I would not be able to relax and enjoy their visit. So I told him to have her find someplace else for the dog to stay while they are here, like with one of her kids or friends near their home.

I was really going to try to give her a second chance and treat her with hospitality despite the debabcle of her prior visit, which was years ago. But telling me only the night before she was bringing a dog when they could have asked if it were ok months ago, well, that’s a non starter. And actually, I was just informed they would be bringing a dog, it wasn’t even phrased to ask if it were OK.

I guess you could say it got my dander up (pun intended). Is it ok for guests to do this and not ask in advance? AITA? I think not.

(Hmmm, maybe I should tell him to bring the dog and leave her home. But, shucks, that option sadly isn’t available)
 
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VintageSG

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NTA
While you could have guessed he'd bring along his Karenasaurus Wrecks, it's rather impolite to wait until a week before to announce, not request, announce that he'd be accompanied. It isn't a request if there's a hint of assertion the expected response is acquiescence.
That's bad enough. Usually, people don't shed, scent mark, pee and chew furniture. Usually.
Dogs do. And dogs do doo-doo too. To announce they'd be bringing it, in a casual 'suck it up buttercup, fur-baby is coming' manner would lead to a 'Book a motel then, I'll meet you for evening drinkies' from me. Entitled people are entitled to be told to GFThemselves ( in as polite a manner as deemed necessary )

NTA. NTA at all.
 

O- Fender

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I don't understand some people. My bro in law loves dogs, has two and often looks after dogs of his sons and daughter. It's not out of the ordinary for him to have 4 or 5. All that and I would never just spring mine on him without asking.

That strikes me as inconsiderate, to put it mildly. I say nta.
 

That Cal Webway

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6 Huskies might be a problem, but ya gotta admit-- they'd be fun and ornery as heck!

IMG_20210717_160114833~2.jpg
 

kuch

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Great Northwest
So I know this isn’t Reddit but I feel like asking if anyone thinks I am the A/H in this situation.

Months ago my college buddy tells me he’ll be in town this week for a company meeting, and asks if he can stay with me over the weekend. I say of course, as I love the guy and we’ve been close for many many years.

But I do not care for his second wife. They stayed here once, and it was a debacle. I had a barbecue with lots of friends over while they were here, she got roaring drunk and insulted everyone and acted like a complete @ss, and broke one of my nicest wine glasses and lit (and left) candles burning in the guest room during peak fire season not long after I almost had my house burn down in a wildfire. And that was just one particular day. His kid (from his late wife), who I am very close with, can’t stand her and has pretty much severed her relationship with her dad. And to be clear, the new wife is also fairly objectionable when sober.

So that’s the history. I didn’t know that she would be coming with him on this trip until last week, though I guess I always knew it was a possibility. I figured I would just suck it up and put up with her since it’s his wife and all that. I would be a hospitable host.

They are scheduled to arrive tomorrow and stay for four nights. But tonight he tells me she is driving down tomorrow so she can bring her dog with here. To my home. For four nights. I had never imagined this was on the agenda.

I love dogs and cats but I have have no pets and I want no pets. And I don’t want any pets in my house, even for a short time, since, as they say, sh*t happens. Lots of other things happen too. Dogs in new surroundings are known to mark territory. And I don’t want any such things happening in my house, where I have collected a lot of nice furnishings and frankly don’t want any pet mess of any kind, or even any pet hair. I know it won’t kill me, and lots of stuff can be cleaned up, but that’s just how I like to keep my house.

They knew months ago they would be coming, but only tell me the night before that they will be bringing her dog? To me, that is just wrong for any guest to do.

So I decided I would not put up with it, as I would be pissed off at her the whole time for taking advantage of me in this way if they stayed with the dog. Especially given how she acted he last time she was here. And I would not be able to relax and enjoy their visit. So I told him to have her find someplace else for the dog to stay while they are here, like with one of her kids or friends near their home.

I was really going to try to give her a second chance and treat her with hospitality despite the debcale of her prior visit, which was years ago. But telling me only the night before she was bringing a dog when they could have asked if it were ok months ago, well, that’s a non starter. And actually, I was just informed they would be bringing a dog, it wasn’t even phrased to ask if it were OK.

I guess you could say it got my dander up (pun intended). Is it ok for guests to do this and not ask in advance? AITA? I think not.

(Hmmm, maybe I should tell him to bring the dog and leave her home. But, shucks, that option sadly isn’t available)
NTA. I would have done the same
 

ale.istotle

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The funny thing is, even though the guest is acting in an inconsiderate and entitled manner, they'll be convinced the OP ITA. There's a fairly wide swath of the population that can only see things from their own perspective and the guest is among them.
 

NHFlyCaster

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Feb 16, 2020
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NH
I am from time to time surprised to see what someone seems to think is completely natural to post about on a public accessible internet forum.
What's the problem with a group conversation? If someone besides the OP needs to get a clue about decency and manners, and they happen to get it here then in the long run they'll be better for it.
 
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